Why did you do that?
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As you know, Craigslist missed encounters are just too interesting to resist. There are some funny people out there casting the net. And when I’m scrambling for blog fodder, they always deliver.
I don’t live in California but San Francisco seems to provide a lot of entertaining characters. For example, there’s the woman who was riding her bike home and took a shortcut through the hooker district. She was propositioned by a dude in a Prius not once, not twice but three times. She thought he looked wholesome and friendly but wondered why he felt the need to find a hooker.
So she placed this ad just attempting to pick his brain and not wanting to start a relationship. (I did edit this for brevity, but the entire post can be read here.)
Location: Shotwell St at 17th
Me: A redhead on a bicycle, in fishnets and a short skirt, biking home from the Folsom Street Fair.
You: A guy driving a Prius who tried to hire me for sexual services.
There I was, biking along, thinking it would be smarter to ride down Shotwell than along the bigger streets at dusk because I didn’t have my light or helmet. Now, I don’t walk down Shotwell much because it’s where all the hookers work and I don’t want to interfere. But it seemed safe by bike.
So when you slowed down to pass me in your Prius, I was a little apprehensive. Sure enough, “Want to make some money?” you asked. I was startled, though. You didn’t look like the usual sleezebags who trawl these corners. I said no, with a smile. I should’ve been more firm, I guess.
Anyway, I said no. And I kept biking. And you kept tailing me slowly in your Prius. Half a block later, you asked again and I answered more firmly, though still (too) politely. And then again, further along. By then I had a plan in mind to keep you from following me to my house, but you gave up at that point.
So what gives? Do you come here often? In a city of yuppy geeks, why does a not-unattractive man with a Prius need to find a streetwalker on that particular corner of crack whores? Did the Folsom Fair inspire visions of kinky sex? Did I, with my messenger bag and commuter bike, look like the type to mete out exotic punishments? Are you just having a dry spell? And how much money are we talking?
I’m actually curious. (Not interested, but curious.)
I think I could be friends with this chick. Oh! Wouldn’t that be fun to contact her just to give her kudos on her post? I might have to do that and then provide a follow up post. But then I don’t want her to think I’m a psycho trawling for chicks on bikes. Hmm, I’ll have to give that one some thought.
There have been so many times I’ve wanted to pick the brain of a stranger who did some weird stuff but didn’t have the confidence to confront. And it would be fun to anonymously question those folks. Like the guy at the Y.
Or the 60-something punk at Costco.
Location: The Costco parking lot
Me: The chick with the ponytail and bitchin’ low tops who had three small children and a full cart
You: A 60-something man in a huge brown passenger van
I was trying to get two of my kids out of the child seats there in the front of the basket. As you know, those carts are really big and they allow two kids to sit side by side. My oldest kid was walking and she jumped into the van. The second kid is really too tall to sit in the seat so I struggled to pull her and her legs out of the cart. And then I had the three year old who easily slipped out of the seat but needed to be buckled into her car seat.
I also had about 20 items in my cart.
You wanted to park in the slot right next to my van but my cart, full of groceries and children, was in your way. So you pulled your huge van halfway into the slot as close as you could get to my cart and then glared at me, motor running. You couldn’t get all the way in because my cart was in the way.
We were pretty far away from the entrance of the store and I wondered why you had to have that particular spot when I was in the middle of unloading. It was noon and the store wasn’t crowded. I saw quite a few open parking spots in the next aisle. But you stayed there and stared me down.
Like a fool, I was rushing because you had to have that spot. I thought you would give it up and leave after I walked around to the other side, leaving my cart full of stuff in the spot, and buckled my kid into her car seat.
I still had a full cart of groceries to unload. But you sat there, van halfway in the spot, engine idling, and waited on me. Your insistence to park there made me really angry and I felt like I had to hurry the f*ck up because you wanted in.
After I finished unloading and shut the door I moved my cart, so you could park there.
I really wish I had the courage to leave the empty cart right where it was — in the way of your precious parking spot — so you had to be inconvenienced. But like the obedient sheep I am, I moved the cart out of the way and you angrily pulled into the spot, making sure you gave me a dirty look.
Asshole.
Why did you have to wait like that? Did you have a fight with your wife? Are you mad at your daughter and you’re taking it out on me? Would you have rammed into my car if I left the basket where it was? What the f*ck were you thinking?
I’m just curious.
Ohhhhh, no. I don’t make things easier for that particular kind of asshole. Nope. I’d have taken stuff out of bags one at a time to place them lovingly into my car just to get this guy to make a better decision. Unfortunately, some people have no sight past their nose, or the bumper of their ginormous van. I might have just continued to smile a friendly smile and take my sweet time finishing my unloading and rearranging of children. Then I would have moved the cart dead center into that parking place he was attempting to occupy.
Okay, maybe not, but I’d give serious thought to it. And when the headline the next day tells of a mom run down in the Costco parking lot, know that I got squashed for principle.
Tell me about it. My brother always says, “Do you want to be dead right or alive and wrong.” I always tell him I want to be dead right, but I’m a chicken.
LMBO at the San Fran post. I lived there for 10 years, and yes, it is a pretty interesting place with fun people. The Folsom Street Fair is a street fair for the S & M crowd. Talk about a blast to check out!
As for the Costco guy- Screw him. I once actually read a study that looked at the time it took people to load up and vacate a spot. There was 3 groups–One with no one waiting, one with someone waiting patiently, and 1 with the impatient waiter. Guess who took the longest? Yep, the spot with the impatient waiter! I guess we all have a little passive aggressive streak in us!
Okay, that helps clarify the setting, coming home from an S & M fair. That’s so funny about the people taking even longer when someone is waiting on them. Let them eat cake. (If it’s someone other than me making them wait.)
Costco guy sounds like a right inbreed. Maybe he’s just trying to prove his masculinity be “getting one over” on you? He perhaps doesn’t realise that guys who try to show their masculinity by being rude instantly FAIL.
Oh yeah. He failed miserably. I put a silent hex on him.
And his big ass passenger van.
People sure can be rude… When I come across that, I will wait only if it’s the only spot, but I wait patiently and never glare!
I could understand more so if there was NO parking anywhere, but I swear he was just sitting there on principle. Punk. I guess you’re never too old to be a punk, eh?
Ooh! Email her! Email her! Send her a link to this post – I’m sure she’ll be tickled pink that she impressed you so much. Not to mention, we’ll get the skinny on the response, assuming there is one. I’ll bet she’s a Craigslist Celebrity now, though, so you’ll have to write something cool enough to stick out from the deluge.
You can do THAT, of all people, though.
I think you handled the 60-something punk just right. What else were you supposed to do, other than keep on keeping on…? I’m glad you didn’t leave the cart in his way, too – two nasties don’t make a nice. Then again, I’m from Canada – we’re a whole ‘nother breed of sheep up here.
I did it! I’ve been watching my email ever since (it’s only been an hour though). I hope she responds. That would be so fun!
I know, I do try to lead by example. And I did tell Katie and Allison that the person in that car was very inconsiderate and that we would never do that because it’s rude.
I wish I could write as creatively as the SF chick! And what in the world was that guy thinking? I haven’t met many hookers in my life (I did see a couple one night when I was out too late on the back streets of DC), but I have never seen one on bicycle. That should have given it away right there.
That Costco guy was a jerk! I will only wait for a spot if the person is already got his/her backup lights on, and I do that less to get their spot and more to allow them the space to go on their way. Sometimes people fly down the aisles in a parking lot, and it can be hard to get out.
I had a friend in Virginia once who told me this story. She had been at a store or the mall or some such, and she came out with her child to leave. Someone saw her packing up and starting waiting for her spot. She wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but the person waiting started honking his/her horn at her and waving at her to HURRY THE HELL UP ALREADY. She had a three-year-old that she still had to buckle in to her car seat. So she finished putting her purchases in her car, grabbed her daughter’s hand, and informed the waiting person that she had changed her mind and needed more things at the store. So she strolled back inside, and the waiting person was LIVID.
Serves him/her right, though!
I bow down to your friend. That was AWESOME! I’ll bet that person was livid and it *does* serve them right.
That guy in the van makes me so angry! My head fills with thoughts of what “I would’ve done”. Of course, actually in the situation I would probably have done the same exact thing as you.
It did briefly cross my mind to leave it as I was unloading, but then I thought, ‘With my luck he’ll pull a gun out and shoot me dead if I leave the cart there.’ But of course as I drove home I was kicking myself that I didn’t leave it there. Grrr!
Oh lordy………now I know i’ll have to go read these too lol. Those are just too funny. See what I miss by never going to Craigs list? Sheesh!
Email her though, tell her we are all interested lol.
Reading Craigslist is sort of like going to the thrift store — you have to weed through a bunch of junk to find a gem. But it’s so satisfying when you find a good one! I do have my fingers crossed that she’ll write back. You can bet I’ll let you know if I hear from her!
Hey Betch?! I reposted the original Ruby yarn – “The Waitress”… come read. Your opinion is much sought after.
Alrighty, I’ll be over shortly!
This is why people always want to fist fight me. I would have kept the cart there, unloaded and left the cart there as I jumped in my car and sped off. but I am always the bigger jerk when people are being jerks to me.
Damn Aimee, I need you in my car with me. Will you ride shotgun?
Oh man, I need to go look on craigslist. Who knew? Interesting stuff and great writing material. Hey this is a new blog idea: Pick the Brain. I’m not sure how it will work though, but you’re on to something. I admit when people take a long time to get out of a spot, I grow another head out of my neck. Now, I’m not talking about anybody who is actually moving trying to get out of their spot, but the single person who seems to need a manual to remember how to operate the darn vehicle…some people have taken out maps, done a systems check of the car like it was an aircraft…I think they do that on purpose. That man was rude to try to squeeze in the spot though next to you..in that case, I would wait or find another spot if I can’t.
I *love* that “some people have taken out maps, done a systems check of the car like it was an aircraft” because I have run into that person who is obsessively checking everything except the oil before he leaves. I bet that guy is related to StairMaster guy.
OMG, you have to tell us what happens with that Craigslist girl! How hilarious! SF is definitely full of interesting people. I have relatives up there and it’s always fun hanging out in downtown with them.
As for the idiotic van guy, I would have packed up slower. Yes, passive aggressiveness, but I cannot stand people who do this. In Cali, parking spaces can be worth their weight in gold, but I’ve never experienced someone to be as rude as this guy. I might have even walked up to his window and asked him, “Is there something I can help you with?” When there are other spaces available, what he did was particularly uncalled for! **HUGS!!**
Again, I need you to ride shotgun with me, Chris. You can deal with all of the jerks for me. Can’t you just see it. You would walk with me to his car and I would say, “You need to talk to my aggressive personality.” And then I would walk away and you would step forward and verbally bitch slap him while I finished unloading. Maybe he’d think I was crazy and leave.
You never disappoint me CG!
Laughing aloud at work is a little awkward but I do it almost every morning when I read your blog!
I can not stand people that do that with parking spaces. I wish I were brave enough to just take my sweet time unloading but I hurry just like you did.
Memo to all people in parking lots: Be nice! You are not the only one here today and therefore you must be courteous of fellow parkers. Those who act rude will be forced to park in the back and walk the farthest. AND wait in line the longest.
You’re too kind, Mrs. S, thanks!
That would be awesome, to perform a citizen’s arrest that was somehow enforced like you said — parking way in back and waiting in the longest line.
“On behalf of Costco Security I am placing you under a citizen’s arrest. Now go park way over there.”
I HATE when people do that if the lot has plenty of other spaces. I have actually said it out loud to them – ” do you HAVE to park in THIS space?” They usually move on. Jerks.
Wow Melissa, you have more guts than I do. I do hope karma smacks him in the ass, though.
[...] I have to update you on yesterday’s post. I heard back from the Redhead Who is Not a Hooker via [...]
Do I need to come there and go shopping with you? Because I will.
There have been times when I have sent Evan to stand in the middle of a parking space so that no one else will pull in (specifically, when I see that someone is trying to get ‘my space’).
I have no problem being bitchy, LOL. ESPECIALLY when someone is being passive aggressive with me.
I live by the “Wish Creed”. I wish a mofo would say something to me! (See “Kings of Comedy” with Cedric the Entertainer)
:-)
Yes, YES you need to go shopping with me! That would be so awesome! Whenever someone pissed me off I would just look at you and give a small nod. I’m going to mentally take you with me everywhere I go and nod into thin air from now on. Yeah, I’ll be known as the Crazy Chick Who Nods at Nothing. But it will make me feel better.
Now I’m off to Google the Wish Creed. I love Google.