Why are pigeons so bawdy and other musings
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I have some random animal-related questions today. And I’m sure someone will be able to answer them for me.
Why are pigeons so fearless? Really, they aren’t that skittish and you can walk pretty close to a pigeon before it will casually walk away. We don’t seem to have many pigeons here in the Motor City, but when I was in London as a college student they were everywhere. I made it my mission to jump and stomp (way to be an obnoxious American) at all the pigeons I could find. And once in a while, a pigeon would actually jump and sort of fly two feet away. I don’t believe I was ever successful in making one fly away from the scene of the crime.
I thought about this because when I was driving home from school yesterday morning I drove past a pigeon. It was standing in the road and, like a petulant teenager, it looked up at my minivan and slowly walked to the curb. I don’t understand how a bird can have such attitude. Just look at that stance. His slightly cocked head makes me imagine him saying, “Yeah, what? What! You want a piece o’ me? I will claw your mother-fu–” Woah, woah, woah gingah. Let’s keep things sophisticated here.
New York pigeons are just as bawdy as London pigeons, I have learned. When Mr. C and I were visiting long ago I fancied running into a swarm of them loitering on a building walkway. But I was actually afraid. I took a small jog toward them and nary a ripple. I really thought they might attack me if I continued, so I aborted mission and instead chose to jump up and down, which barely caused notice (to the birds or the New Yorkers walking around us). In defeat I called the birds punks and walked away.
So I was excited to see this article in the Daily Mail about pigeon mind control. Seems a scientist in China came up with a microchip that will override a pigeon’s homing device. Isn’t that cool? The scientist didn’t really have a reason why this technology would be helpful in every day life. I like
the
idea of
making a pigeon
my bitch, though.
This was my favorite line from the article, “The fact that the birds have been developed in China, with its history of oppressing free thinkers, will not be lost on some in scientific circles.”
Okay, moving on.
I never had a cat or a dog as a pet growing up. Mr. C and I did have two cats in the beginning of our marriage for about 10 years, however both cats were indoor cats that had been neutered. So we never experienced kittens.
A few days ago I saw a stray cat on my front lawn that went sprinting away as I opened the door and as it ran its belly swayed side to side. This feline looked pretty slim otherwise so I assumed it was a she and that she was knocked up. When she got to the neighbor’s driveway she stopped, looked over her shoulder and gave me a side view of her hanging belly.
Then she acted all cool and casual again and slowly slunk away.
So that’s what spawned this thought about pregnant cats and dogs. When a cat or a dog gives birth, does the mother yowl in pain as the kitten/puppy emerges? I have heard that cats will lick up all the (coughs) medical evidence off the kitten and herself. Are dogs the same way? Is a veterinarian necessary at the birth? Does a kitten or puppy ever get, um, caught in the birth canal?
Has anyone experienced this first-hand? I’m just curious.
And is it just rabbits that will eat their young if a human hand touches the babies? Or are cats and dogs uppity like that, too?
