What day is this?
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I have never, in all my life, enjoyed this No Man’s Land of time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. Ever. I always visually imagine this time of year as a long hallway, devoid of color, with a bunch of closed doors. I think of it that way until January is in full swing and the holidays plus this lingering couple of days off after January 1 are over.
I find it very difficult to remember what day is what, if it is a weekend, if it is a week day, which freakin’ day of the week it is, if the mail is coming or not, etc. during this time of year.
I have already spent a good 30 minutes writing today’s post with the thought that today was the first day back at school for my kids. I even went so far as to check WJR’s website to make sure today is not a snow day, as we got about three inches of snow yesterday. Today’s mood WAS fancyfree, because I was sure today was the first day back at school.
I then explained how every so often I get suckered into taking the kids to school when there is no school that day. Then I wrote:
That happened to Mr. C while I was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago. Except he went all the way with it. He got both of them dressed, made lunches, packed them in the car, drove to school and found an empty parking lot. I have to admit: When you are not the star of that show, it can be amusing.
However, I have had a starring role in that gig and it was not funny in the least. Last year at Our Lady of Messed Up Head Trips (as I have come to call it), I took my kids to an empty parking lot myself. I refused to believe what I was seeing and I made them come with me to the door so I could frantically ring the bell that no one was answering.
It was not a snow day even though this was the middle of winter, but it was one of those faux “Teacher’s Faculty Meeting — We’re Not Taking Your Kids Today” kind of days. I missed it on the school calendar and I. Was. Pissed. When we got there.
Wet hornet doesn’t even come close to describing my fury. But I made it through that day.
I wrote that part above thinking my kids actually have school today. Now you are reading the stream of consciousness, real-time thoughts in my head now that it is 6:30 am.
Um, this is quite crazy. I have the school calendar, issued from the new school’s website on the wall next to me. And it is saying Jan. 2 No School. Since we are still in this effed up No Man’s Land of time I am not sure if today is Jan. 2 or Jan. 3. My Post Timestamp on WordPress is declaring today January 2. I checked WJR’s website and they are indeed listing about ten schools in my county that are closed today, but our school is not one of them.
So I ran upstairs and woke Mr. C up to figure out what day today is. We talked about this last night. I was going to let him and the baby sleep in, take the older two to school and then go to the Y to work out. So last night he was onboard with me in thinking today was the first day back at school.
I hopped on the bed and shook his arm, “C wake up. What day is today? Is today Wednesday or Thursday?”
“What?”
I thought to myself, ‘Say what again. I dare you.’ Because if I am to hold onto the smallest shred of sanity that I think I have left in my head these days, a sense of humor is imperative.
Instead, I actually said, “Is today Wednesday or Thursday, because the school calendar says they don’t have school until Thursday, January 3.” I whispered that while eyeing the digital clock that read 6:22 am.
He answered, “Today is Wednesday.”
“F#ck. They don’t have school today.”
“Nope,” was his response.
If you haven’t guessed, this has been a. Very. Long. Christ. Mas. Break.
Yes, I’m here to tell you parenting is wonderful until Christmas break comes along and your children constantly ask you what you are going to do. All. Day. Long. And you are in the middle of a mental break down complete with drugs, therapy and an in-patient hospital stay under your belt.
Teachers are not paid enough. I am convinced of that. Also, I could never, ever be a teacher.
So knowing I have the patience of a gnat, I decided to have three children in the span of five years so I could work on gaining patience — a commodity I am severely lacking — for the rest of my life.
Solid life plan, eh?
I could go on and on about the current joys of parenting, but instead I will change directions.
I happened across a blog today that has become my first must-read blog of 2008. It’s called Criticism at Large and it has just the right amount of sarcasm and zingers that I have declared it my favorite blog of January 2008. A bold statement, I know, seeing as we are simply into Day 2 (not Day 3 like I thought we were) of January 2008.
But I stand by my statement. For whatever that’s worth.
