Cardiogirl: 19% body fat 100% fun

Well, it’s here. I got in the mail yesterday.

My new driver’s license arrived and I frantically ripped that envelope open like a kid going for broke on Christmas Day. Of course they glue it onto the letter and then fold the letter in such a way that once you free it from the envelope, you still have to open the letter to find the license.

I unfolded that bad boy with lingering trepidation, the image of my mug huge on the computer screen over at the DMV forefront in my mind. And I was surprised. Kind of pleasantly surprised. As a small one-inch square it’s actually pretty decent. It surely ain’t Janice Dickinson quality, but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Minus a smile, even.

I really won’t mind flicking that out when necessary. Reducing the size has really made it tolerable.

So in my haste to open the envelope I left the letter, sans the license, on the counter in the kitchen, while I put the new license in my wallet. Then I got side tracked and Mr. C got home from work. After a few minutes he walked up to me and said, “Let’s see it.”

“See what?” I’d already forgotten about it.

“The picture,” he said, holding the letter. So I handed it over and he agreed with me, it’s fine, more than fine. In fact, it’s not nearly as mugshot-ey as I’d made it out to be.

But then he added, “People who don’t know you will think it’s just a regular look. Since I know you well, I can see the fury in your face. I’ve seen that look before,” he trailed off, as he handed the license back.

So this is really messing with my image of my poker face.

Either I don’t have one at all — and my emotions are written on my face. Or I do have a solid poker face and no one knows what I’m thinkin’. Dammit, do I have a poker face or not?

Psychological Pop Quiz: Is Cardiogirl an all or nothing thinker?

A. Hell yes.

B. Not in a bad way.

C. Do you mean I have to commit to one answer and stay with that for the rest of my life? Or can I revise it later?

D. No but she can be a real toerage betch at times.

So I said I would post the picture and I guess it’s time to do that now. Yuck. I hate having my picture taken and you have no idea what a huge leap of faith this is. But I’m doing it for my Cardio peeps. Because you all have helped me through a really crazy time. This is one small gesture I can offer back.

Now be kind and say nothing if you have nothing nice or neutral to say. Or I will hunt you down and kick your ass, buddy. And it should be noted I am serious because I did not use the “@” symbol to spell ass. I spelled it out. So shut your pie hole if you’re going to be mean. Just think it and move on.

Now, without further ado. I present to you the Patty Hearst Freedom Fighter Mugshot.

I told you I was going to add a beret. And honestly, any real Freedom Fighter is going to stick it to the man by wearing sunglasses.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 6th, 2008 at 5:55 am and is filed under Humor, Self Image. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.