The Party Posse’s destination — Under the Influence
10 VIPs have spoken »
It has been far too long since we last hopped on the Party Posse train. The last time was in July — for shame! Here we go, single file now and keep your hands inside the cart at all times. If you missed the previous party let me explain what we’re doing.
I thought it would be fun to take the VIP Lounge to someone else’s site. As you know, the VIP Lounge is my comment section. My peeps are fun! We have a party daily and I like the idea of having a progressive party on the internet. Hence the Party Posse.
Head on over to the guest pad, read the post and leave a thoughtful comment (none of this “Great post” stuff.)
Hopefully we can leave up to 15 comments; at last count she had five — let’s get her up to 20, minimum. I know you’ll make me proud on this trip.
Today we are visiting Under the Influence written by a chick named Jo who has an awesome ponytail. Check out her profile pic halfway down in the right-hand column. There’s some serious follicular joy going on there. (That is a ponytail, right Jo?)
In the post Where do you sit? Jo wanted to know what chair you sit in at the Thanksgiving table. This is such an awesome question rife with power struggles and intrigue.
It’s really too good to pass up.
So Jo is married to MG (Motorcycle Guy) and Jo grew up in a family with no power struggles. MG grew up like I did — the head of the table is, and ever shall be, the power seat.
I really cannot relate to Jo’s childhood; that seems so wild to me. Anyway, here’s an abbreviated excerpt from her post.
There were no “power” seats at the table in my family. For the holidays in my family, when you have 30 people in a home that was not necessarily meant for 30 people, you were just damn glad you got a seat. And you were thankful to be with 30 people who you (most of the time) like. No one cared who sat where, you just tried to find a seat near your favorite family member.
In MG’s family, there is a power/status seat — the head of the table. It appears they take this very seriously.
Over Thanksgiving, CJ (their youngest son) tried to sit at the head of the table. I told him he had to move because we needed him in a different seat, being the littlest and all. My MIL shouted out, “Yes, I think the two grandfathers should sit at the heads of the table.”
I was a little confused at first. Based on MG’s past explanation of all this to me, about the “man of the house” and all, HE should have been at the head with ME at the the other end… I then said, “Oh no, this is OUR house and MG and I are sitting at the heads of the table.”
Honestly, I didn’t care where anyone sat. Something about another person giving away “important” seats IN MY HOUSE just didn’t sit right.
This is so interesting to me because my dad truly had control issues. And he definitely took over the head of the table, no one even tried to sit in his seat. My mom sat in the seat next to him, which was the seat closest to the kitchen. She was the one who popped up and down catering to the rest of the family.
Surprisingly the seat across the table from the power seat — I suppose the second-in-command seat — had no importance in our house. I can’t even tell you who sat there. It was just another seat open for whoever got there.
I never sat in either chair. I was on the bench along the side of the table and that was fine with me.
In our house today we do not have assigned seats. There are five of us at an oval table and my husband and I tend to sit on the sides. One of the end chairs (the one furthest from the kitchen) remains open and the chair on the other end — the “power chair” — has a rotating clientele. Usually one of the girls sit there but no one really loves that seat.
The seat we all seem to like is the one on the right-hand side of the power chair. But no one fights over it.
We save the big fights for the remote.
Tags: Things that mystify me
Thanks Cardiogirl! I’m so honored and will be back for frequent visits!!!!!
Welcome to the Cardiogirl Empire, Jo! I’m glad to meet you and I really loved your post. These are the kinds of things I love to read (and write about, as well). Thanks for being a good sport and a fun read!
Oh, it’s not a ponytail. It’s just my wild hair – I gave up hair appliances (blow dryer, flat iron, etc.) for the summer and let my locks do their own thing.
Wow! That’s a heck of a lot o’ peppy locks! I am jealous of the volume and the curl. Gotta know — do you have bangs and if so do they do well au naturel or do you have to attend to them? If you have no bangs, can you wear your hair all down or do you have to pin it back. Yes, I’m curious and nosy.
Forget the ponytail–I LOVE the lipstick on Jo’s avatar! That is a WILD look, girlie!
I do like those funky monsters. I haven’t seen a repeat yet, I wonder how many are available.
I am SO at the head of the table. If I cook the damn meal, then I get the power. I’m not sure if this immasculates my husband, but he seems to be at peace with it. Where you will see a skirmish is who gets the good TV viewing chairs…
I love that Sandy! I do think you totally earn that seat when you make the entire dinner. We also have a fight over the recliner in my house — it’s actually the kids who fight over it. Isn’t that strange? I think the couch is more comfortable.
Cool topic.
We didn’t sit at tables growing up. At home we ate in the living room. My mom is an artist, and our house was small, so she was always painting at the table and hardly ever unloaded all of her suppplies and such off the only storage space she had.
We had parties for every occasion and every family birthday at my mom’s parent’s house, which was also small. It was always potluck and everyone brought food, which was all placed on the table. Grandad put out lots of chairs and stacking stools and it was first come, first served, sit wherever you can find a place to put a chair. When you are done with one conversation, take your stool with you to the next one.
There were usually a lot of people at these gatherings, which were at least once a month, and my uncle and three aunts and several of their children showed up.
My Grandad did have his own chair, though. It was the only one that didn’t move around.
We hardly ever visited my dad’s relatives. They had strict table rules. I had a hard time with that as a kid.
Man your mom’s family sounds like fun! My kids rarely eat at the table because they’re being raised by wolves.
I like the psychology of it all and I never really gave it a second thought….until now.
At home, we have a rectangle table to seat six. What does it say when nobody sits at the heads?! It’s so funny because we totally view our family as a “team” with nobody (except the adults) at the true helm. It’s funny that nobody really takes the authority chairs and that we all sit at the 4 seats facing each other. Hmmmm…..Thank you Dr. Freud.
I’m heading over to Jo’s now. I’ve got some tunes on the Ipod for the train ride–Christmas tunes like “2000 Miles” by the Pretenders. It’s a good traveling tune, eh?
That’s so interesting about your team mentality. Clearly it’s been manifested at your house. I didn’t know 2000 Miles was a Christmas song. I’m going to have to amend my statement of disavowing all Christmas songs.
Chrissie and Company are allowed.
LOVE the party posse idea Cardiogirl! I left a big long post at Jo’s about my family’s lack of power seat-ness but I didn’t touch on my husband’s family.
For normal meals they sit at a round table, but for holidays they use the oval table in the dining room, and sure enough, his parents sit at the “heads” of it. Never really thought about that. I’m not sure if that’s got a reason behind it or not.
Thanks — we’re all about fun over here.
Man my FIL has an issue with the head of the table and no one attempts to sit in his chair. He has some *issues*.
W00t! It’s been far too long since I glammed up. :D
I do so love it when you glam up, Solomon. Your boots look incredible.
I’ll do one family here and the other over there. At my reunion, it’s much like Jo’s. A packed house and everybody just found a spot. The oldest generation did sit at the dining room table but it was more of a respect let the older not worry about balancing a plate on their lap sort of thing. If there was a free seat, anyone was welcome to sit.
Well that’s a refreshing take on things. It also sounds low-stress and low-tension. Imagine that, a holiday gathering without tension.
[...] hopped on the Party Posse train so that’s what we’re doing today. Plus I want to see Solomon all glammed up again. Single file now and keep your hands inside the cart at all times. If you missed the last party let [...]