The lady bug came close to giving us a heart attack
25 VIPs have spoken »
Before Mr. C and I had children we had cats. I always wanted a cat as a kid, but growing up we never had any pets. As a mother of three I can totally understand why my mother of six vetoed the idea of a cat or a dog. But it didn’t stop my desire to have a pet.
So about six months after we were married my feline lust got the best of me and I started cruising the local pet store looking for a cat. I liked the idea of saving a stray cat and that store always had a few of them waiting to be loved. The store was just two miles from where I worked and every day at lunch I went to there to pine away.
And then I found her — Chloe — although at the time her name was Cleo and that did not suit her at all. She was all white with one black patch over her left eye and one reddish brown patch over her right eye. And her tail was striped black and brown. How I loved that cat.
Over time we moved from our apartment to our house and then started to have children. And with the children came the toys. Chloe did not like children and she was always on another floor when Katie was awake. I’m pretty sure Katie didn’t realize we had a cat until she was two and a half.
Anyway, Katie had a pull toy that was shaped like a lady bug and had a short string. As Katie grew taller the string became too short for her to walk and pull. So I tied a brown piece of twine to the original yellow string and that allowed Katie to walk around while pulling the lady bug behind her.
It was a win-win.
I felt like MacGyver because I had come up with a handy workaround. Katie was happy because she could spend all day walking upright with the lady bug in tow. And Chloe enjoyed playing with the piece of twine during Katie’s nap time.
This happy trifecta lasted for quite some time. It lasted so long that eventually I forgot about the lady bug and Katie moved on to a new favorite toy. But the lady bug hung out in the living room in the corner.
Until one evening around midnight. Mr. C and I were fast asleep and Katie was slumbering peacefully in her crib with the door shut. I’m sure I was dreaming about eating calorie-free chocolate while working out on the elliptical machine.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, there was a huge clatter like a heavy nine-foot bookcase tumbled down a flight of stairs. Mr. C and I awoke promptly and said “What the fuck?” in unison and then stared at each other in the dark as our hearts galloped wildly.
Then silence. Complete silence. My first thought was ‘Thank God Katie didn’t wake up.’ The next thought was, ‘Is the intruder going to kill us now that we’re awake?’
We turned on the light and silently crept down the stairs, leaving a trail of lights blazing behind us. And we found nothing.
Everything was just how we left it. The doors were locked, no one was in the basement and both of us breathed a sigh of relief as the pounding of our heart beats receded. So we went back upstairs as I noticed the cat was missing. She usually joined us on our sojourns around the house. But she was conspicuously absent.
Back up in our room I got on my hands and knees and looked under the bed. And there she was, pupils as big as saucers. Chloe was hiding up against the wall. And near her, about a foot away, was the red and yellow lady bug.
That’s when it all came together and I started to laugh hysterically. I popped my head up above the mattress and told Mr. C, between fits of laughter, that Chloe had been playing with the twine on the lady bug. And somehow the twine must have gotten caught on her tail.
So she bolted from the living room, up fifteen stairs, to the safety of her hiding place underneath our bed. All the while, the psycho lady bug was in hot pursuit, attached to her tail, as she clamored up the stairs.
Bang, bang, bang went the lady bug until Chloe stopped running.
She must have been able to free the twine from her tail, under the bed there, because the lady bug was sitting near her while the twine was lying askew. And Chloe was licking her tail furiously as her eyes darted back and forth.
Eventually she came out from under the bed after I put the lady bug in the closet and shut the door. While I rubbed her ears, she released a couple of plaintive meows as if to recount the hellish experience with that lady bug.
And then we went back to sleep, Chloe no doubt hexing the red and yellow lady bug of terror while the bed shook intermittently with my giggles.
I really miss that cat.
Hola CG!
Happy POST Birthday! I thought it was nice of God to have a bright sunny day for your birthday. Hope it was a GREAT one!
Clive sends kitty-kisses!
Mucho Smooches!
Val
Hi Val! Thanks for the birthday greetings. I had the very same thought — what an awesome surprise to have temperatures above freezing on my birthday. I honestly can’t remember the last time that happened. I think 41 is going to be my best year yet!
I think if I heard something tumbling down a flight of stairs in the middle of the night I’d be afraid it was one of the little ones.
I guess at the time I knew she was in the crib and couldn’t climb out. But in retrospect, my first thoughts don’t seem so maternal, do they?
Did I miss your birthday? I suck! A belated happy birthday to you.
Yes, but it was not publicized at all. So no worries and it was an awesome day, if I do say so myself. Thanks joe!
hope you had a good day yesterday turning 41 and all. you don’t look a day over 29 and i like that your age is not a secret like it is to most women. you would think you just asked them for their PIN to their ATM card. it’s better than dead, but as you say, i digress.
now on to today’s post. LOL. i had such a laugh that one very nosy person had to come and see what i was laughing at. *** ****!
too funny. a lady bug in hot pursuit of a cat. now if it was a butterfly, i could understand the terror.
Oh Natural, I am so bad at lying. The first time I tried to lie about my age I know someone would say, “Quick, what year did you graduate from high school?” And I would say, “1986″ by accident and my age would be revealed.
That cat was something else, I have to say. She was all prim and uptight and I used to refer to her as Jackie O. I’m sure she was embarrassed by that evening’s events. But then she readjusted her pearls and it was business as usual.
Maybe in hindsight, in my “Dead Dream”, it wasn’t me but my blog that was dead. Oh, woe unto my blog!
That could be, but we can infuse some saline and I bet your blog will be as good as new.
Yay, a Cardiogirl doodle!
Great story, CG, very funny : )
Thanks Cate! As you may recall, I resolved to doodle more often in 2009 and I thought I’d get February’s done straight away.
That is hilarious. We used to have cats, too, and I can just imagine what would happen with one of them in a similar situation. I do feel for the poor cat and its terror…, but, it’s still funny. ;)
Thanks Mike! Yeah, her heart rate was through the roof as well. I think the three of us lost two years each on our collective life spans.
I love the drawing! Super fun!
Happy late birthday as well!
Thanks Mrs. S! The cat’s eyes didn’t really come out the way I wanted them to, but I’m no artist. I guess that’s why they’re fun — they are not really an accurate representation of anything at all.
I am glad you figured out what all the clatter was – if that happened to me and I couldn’t find the source of the noise then I wouldn’t have been able to go back to sleep!
Happy belated Birthday Cardiogirl! Did you get my ecard yesterday on the big day?
Happy Monday!
Susan
Hey Susan! Yeah, I would have been completely freaked out if the object of the noise was never identified. I did not get an ecard, but I believe you sent one :) I know you sent celebratory vibes — I felt them!
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry – that poor cat!
And OH MY GOD!!! You actually TYPED THE F-WORD on your blog, Betch?! Well done!
Les, it’s so funny that you mention that. I’ve had misgivings all morning. I’ve been contemplating throwing an asterisk in there. But I shall soldier on as a grown up from this point forward. (Slinks away mortified and further contemplates editing it.)
I love our cats at home! If they were humans though, they would be clinically insane. My boyfriend keeps trying to coax me into getting a cat when I move out of my (pet-free) apartment. He’s looking at buying a house soon though, and maintains he will get a cat for me (read: a cat he can play with so I can scoop litter and feed it). Yeah, we’ll see about that. I think putting off children as long as possible…like 30 years…would not be a bad idea.
And the F-word?! Haha, my mom has become a little looser with the tongue as I’ve gotten older. Which is fine because when not in polite company I tend to swear a lot. I’m German, and therefore predisposed to a quick temper, okay?!
I love that your boyfriend wants the cat so he can play and you’ll have to do the dirty work. Um, that’s what happened with us, but in reverse. Mr. C wields a mean kitty scooper.
Yeah. Still feeling radical about that.
Oh my!!! I sat here laughing until tears came out…I can just imagine the poor kitty fleeing up the stairs with that toy attached! And then I imagined how MY cat would react. Too funny.
Great post!
Thanks Alicia! She was completely freaked out, but really she seemed like she wanted to appear cool about it. Like, “Oh. That thing? Huh, I barely noticed it as I was jetting up the stairs,” (breaks down in kitty tears.)
Happy Belated birthday!!
Laughing at the cat story. I was very excited to see that it included a drawing. Awesome.
I love cats. I want one. Hubby says no, he wants a dog. I refuse to have a dog shitting in my beautiful backyard. Hence, we have nothing. The boys are working on me though!
Thanks for the birthday wishes Michelle! Cats rule, plain and simple. (I’m sure for every cat person out there, there are 2.8 dog people. And every time a dog shits an angel gets a halo or some jazz like that.)
I love that you refuse to have a dog shit in your backyard. Amen, sister. I don’t have a beautiful backyard, but it ain’t bad. And there’s no way in hell I am scooping dog shit out of it. As it is I have a rogue cat that dumps behind the swing set every other week.
Great story. Kitties are awesome. That would so be like a cat, to groom the injury to its pride out of existence. Hee.
I have these shoes too! But alas, that is the extent of my converse low top collection.
It is funny to watch a cat try to regain its cool after an experience like that. Enough licking and grooming and the experience will disappear. I actually have these shoes as well! And every time I wear them I do think, “Today’s a freaked out day” even though it’s not really. Just in my head and on my blog.
Happy Belated Birthday!
Loved the story and the doodle (object d’art).
Thanks Buf! Oh I forgot about calling it an object d’art! Thanks for reminding me, for sure 2009′s year end art retrospective shall be referred to as objects d’art.
Ha! Poor Chloe and her wounded pride! The doodle is, of course, priceless.
We had a similar thing happen Chez Elle just last night. Max was in the bathtub (brazen young man he is, no closing or locking the door for HIM) and the cat went to visit. SOMEHOW (his mother says on purpose but the boy says otherwise) the cat got splashed on and skittered out of the room, in a trail of crashes and clatters that I just knew had to involve medium wet boy landing on the bathroom floor and breaking his head. But no. Just the wet and terrified cat, upending the bathroom stool and careening off assorted cabinets. Amazing the noise those small furry people can generate!
I can TOTALLY see the cat skittering and sliding down the hall as its back end slides around the corners. And I’m sure (clears throat) the boy had nothing to do with it.
LOLOL! I giggled out loud at poor Chloe and the hateful ladybug chasing her up the stairs!
That was a hateful lady bug, wasn’t it? That thing deserved to have its mechanical brain jangled.
Aww, I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I had a kid that was allergic to cats =( I don’t even want to think about it! **HUGS!!**
It really is hard, and I feel like that sounds so incredibly lame coming from a mother. I’m just callin’ a spade a spade. I loved those cats in a huge, fierce way. And I do look at their pictures every so often.
I can just hear Chloe Cat telling you the story now…”And then…. there was this lady bug…..and it was HUGE….and I grabbed a string…..and then….it followed me……” Poor thing. I’m thinking she was carrying the string and didn’t realize the other end was the Giant Lady Bug. And you’re laughing at the poor thing. Nice touch. I’ll bet it was a hoot though! I hate when they do all that running around and stuff when you are trying to sleep. That drives me crazy.
Hey, Happy Birthday, Candy Girl (I’m resorted to making up new names now)! You don’t look a day over 23!!! It must be your shoes! Hobbes sends a whiskery head bump to make your day.
Oh I like that! Candy Girl at your service.
Every time I read “Hobbes sends a whiskery head bump” I see “Hobbes sends a WHISKEY head bump.”
That’s a cool name for a drink isn’t it? It could be whiskey and orange juice (he’s orange, right?) with a pinch of cat nip mixed in — shake and pour and you have the Whiskey Head Bump. After four of those you’ll start to purr.
im a teapot, im a teapot, im a teapot whooot whooot
Hmm. You lost me, but you’re quite a musical teapot, aren’t you ken? :)
OMG you made me wet my pants! Poor Chloe, LOL.
Glad you enjoyed today’s foray into the Land of Cardiogirl Past :)
Well, shit.
Happy Belated F-ing Birthday.
I’m sorry. I don’t celebrate mine, so I forget everybody has one. I swore I wouldn’t do that to you this year, didn’t I?
F*ck.
Oh Les. It’s not a publicized event. No problem, shet bag :)
Look for your High Five from me HERE! :-)
Once again, Angelika, you are much too kind! Thank you, chica!
great cat story! great kid story!
found you via Angelika’s ‘high five’ post! I’ll be back (she said with a deep monotone voice).
Hi Tara! Welcome to the Cardiogirl Empire, have a look around. I see you already know Angelika I think you’ll enjoy the others here in the Lounge (the VIP Lounge is what I call the comment section. That’s not to be confused with the Empire, which is the blog itself.)
I’m looking forward to you coming back and to heading over to your place. Cheers!
Hi Cardiogirl: I stumbled onto your site while trying to find a way to make the EZ Comb at home. I think I cracked a rib from laughing so hard at this story and all the others! You ought to put it all in a book!
I am the proudly owned human of 2 indoor only, 1 inny/outie, and 3 outy only crazy, lovable kitties. I couldn’t imagine my life without my crazy, kooky babies.
Thanks for the great laugh, love the site, and I’ll be back!