The book of questions, Volume 62
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Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts.
Today’s question comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
And here it is, Question 98.
You know you will die of an incurable disease within three months. Would you allow yourself to be frozen within the week if you knew it would give you a modest chance of being revived in 1,000 years and living a greatly extended life?
Oh boy. This is a big, bad no and the thought of it really is horrific to me.
I suppose the idea is that in 1,000 years Poindexter will figure out how to bring me back to life and cure my disease. And he’ll have the key to living a long life, right? That’s a pretty big bill to fill.
But again, it’s all hypothetical and I do love to analyze the living shit out things. My first thought is, what if I actually make it to Heaven?
Yes, since we’re gonna pick up the whip and flog this filly, I did make it to Heaven by the skin of my teeth and I’m singing in tune with the rest of the angels. I’ve dropped all of my grudges and all of sudden someone opens the door, pops his head in and says, “Is there a Cardiogirl here? Cardiogirl?”
I stop singing and look over. “Um, I’m Cardiogirl, that’s me.”
“We need you in the office right now. Your soul is being recalled to your earthly body.”
“What?”
“Before you died you agreed to have your body frozen so your disease could be cured and you could resume earthly life. Don’t you remember?”
Mouth drops open as she slowly walks to the door.
“Um, that was the desperation talking. You know, I was freaked out and I wasn’t positive there was anything after life on earth. (Clears throat and continues with false confidence) So I’d like to respectfully decline your offer, good sir. But thank you for the option. I’ll just be on my way back to my seat to sing and adore again. We cool?”
He looks at his clipboard again and replies, “I’m sorry. We are not cool. You’re going back now. Enjoy your trip.”
Whooshes back to her freezing body and says “Fuck” upon re-entry.
Negative.
Even if my eternal stint in Heaven was on hold and it was like I slept for an hour and woke up cured I would say no. Everyone else I knew would be dead and I’d have to get a job and an apartment.
And they probably still wouldn’t have a cure for my eczema which, incidentally, is really aggravated by cold temperatures. No thanks.
Tags: Things I over analyze, Things that are jacked up
i say YES. i love life, freeze me. if everyone else is dead when i come back, i’ll just make new friends
Look how sassy you are makin’ new friends and livin’ forever.
did my comment go poof?
hmm maybe it did, okay so i said. yes i’d do it. i love life. if everyone else is dead when i come back, i will make new friends.
Yeah, it temporarily went poof because I needed to approve your email. Now you should be able to comment with abandon.
Hmmm. All a bit Futurama, isn’t it? Even though I’m probably going to the hot place, I’d still have to say no. I live in the past, and even the present makes me nervous. The future? Can stay there, thanks. Besides, what if this incurable disease has eaten your face? Even if they cured in in 1000 years time, you might still look like Latoya Jackson!!!
Oy. If that disease has eaten my face that’s a major negative. Even if it didn’t eat my face if I knew I had to look like LaToya I’d say no in a heartbeat.
Ooooh! Freeze me! I wanna know what’s gonna happen!
Really Poolie? You’re much more adventurous than I am. But since I’m so risk-averse that’s not saying much.
I would say a big fat no. If my family isn’t there with me, it’s really not a life worth living. Plus, it’s gonna be too hot in the future and I probably STILL won’t have central air.
If, IF I were forced to go to the future and it was too hot I would forgo meat and new Chuck’s to pay for central air.
I don’t think I’d bother being frozen. I have no logical reason for this. Just a vague dislike of the idea.
I think i’d rather have three weeks of fun, rather than just one week with the chance of being revived. Anyway, 1,000 years into the future, how would I be able to cope with society if I was revived? Things would be completely different.
Yeah, the idea of being frozen, even though technically I would be unconscious, is too much to bear. I’m cold just thinking about it.
I’m cold just thinking about it.
Boom boom!
(You have heard of Basil Brush, haven’t you?)
No, but I Googled him and he looks like quite an interesting chap.
His catchphrase after a jokes was to say “boom boom”. Hence me saying it. It probably didn’t make much sense, eh?
No, it didn’t make any sense at the time, but I like that as an alternative to ba dump bump (cymbals crash.)
No way, man. I want my definite three months, not an iffy extended life, ESPECIALLY if that extended life is 1,000 years from now. I’ll be a freak! I won’t know anyone! I don’t want to get the tap on the shoulder while I’m in heaven enjoying myself.
A definitive no.
Yeah, it is iffy, isn’t it? The question doesn’t say concretely that it would work. And I just know I’d be drinking the best Slurpee of my life up in Heaven when the dude called me back to earth.
No. I just keep thinking of all those Sci-Fi movies (including ST of course) where a person from the past suddenly goes to the future and has to cope with all the changes. While it would definitely be interesting, I don’t know how well I would be able to cope.
Plus it would have to mess with you that everyone you knew is dead. But on the flip side you could mess with your descendants heads…lol
If I was only going to be frozen for up to 50-100 years or so, I would probably say yes.
That’s so funny about freaking your descendants out; I hadn’t even thought about that. I’m impressed that you’d go even 50 years ahead. Wouldn’t that be crazy to see your SO at 90 years old when you were still 40?
And if your children were 50 and you were 40 that would be crazy. Oh wow. Your daughter could have gone through menopause before you did. My mind will melt if I keep thinking about this.
Lol….On second thought you’re probably right, 50 years wouldn’t be enough. 150-200 years would probably be the best. Anyone I actually knew would be dead but it wouldn’t be so far in the future to unrecognizable (or so I tell myself…lol).
Btw, your SO example didn’t phase me too much since F is 60 and I’m 40. I’m already dealing with a mini version of that…lol
Hmm, I’m still not going 150 years ahead. But it would eliminate most of that problem. I saw the pic of you two on FB he does NOT look like he’s 60. Wow he looks great! Oh yeah, you look great, too :)
lol Thanks. No he definitely doesn’t look 60!! When I first met him and found out his age, I made him show me his driver’s license because I didn’t believe him. :)
I’d have to see his driver’s license AND birth certificate. That’s really amazing.
I’m with you, cg! Heaven’s gotta be a heck of a lot more fun than life down here 1000 years from now (if there is still life down here 1000 years from now).
Hubby just happened to be looking over my shoulder as I read this (probably because I was snorting at your hilarious heaven disruption scene) and I exclaimed over your NANOWRIMO icon. He grunted.
I think he knows with your support I’m more likely to try this big, bad experiment (although we are going to look at a dog this afternoon, and that has me worried about the time element again, but what the heck).
True to form, he expressed a wish that I join the National House Decluttering Month instead. Told you I could read his mind.
I can’t even imagine, nor do I want to, what life in 1,000 years will be like.
I think I love the icon more than the idea of writing 50,000 words! It’s so blue and green and sassy all over. Once your novel is published you can hire someone to do National House Decluttering Month for you.
I’ll bet he won’t be grunting then.
I would be really surprised if I didn’t go to “heaven”, or I guess I believe nothing bad is going to happen to me in the afterlife, so no thanks freezing man.
On the other hand, last night I said (while watching Grey’s) if I knew I was going home to die in weeks or months, then I’d be all about some radical surgery or treatment because I’ve seen someone die of cancer and the last two months were really brutal.
And a whole millennium? Who the hell knows what the earth will be like by then? The West was barely even known a thousand years ago. Just too far out there for me.
Definitely the will to live instinct kicks in when faced with mortality. One of those hard wired things. But I still think, for me, the lesser of two evils would be kickin’ it in three months.
I’m going with a horkin’ no here, and not just because I’m an atheist, but because I’m a pragmatist. In his argument, he says you have “a MODEST chance of being revived in 1000 years,” and frankly, those are odds I’m not willing to gamble on.
Three months to savor every last precious moment with my family over a big fat maybe a millennium from now in which everyone wears ozone-deflection suits, dines from irradiated food packets and communicates via bar code? Yeah, I’m going out Ted Kennedy style: surrounded by the people I love every minute of the day, with music, poetry and beauty, speaking every word we’d ever meant to say (of memory, joy and regret), and CONSCIOUSLY LIVING the process of dying.
Fuck that “Twilight Zone” noise.
You’re in good company, Tracy. I did notice the word modest, but felt like my answer wouldn’t change even if there was a solid guarantee that I’d make it to the other side of 1,000 years.
I think you are one of the very few people I’ve met who uses the phrase “Fuck that (insert noun or adjective here) noise.” I frequently use the shortened version of “Fuck that noise,” and someone always laughs and says they’ve never heard that before.
The nice thing about believing in reincarnation is that I’d rather pass on in this life and move on to the next. (But I like this one and would like to stick around for a while.)
As for eczema: I used Florasone Cream for the extra itchy spots, and then switched to Keri lotion for everyday use. Also, since I moved from college back to New Jersey, the water I was using changed. It’s gone. My dad had more trouble, he ended up cutting peanuts out of his diet for a while, as well as cutting back on wheat. There are various ways to make it better.
I’ve never heard of Florasone Cream, can you get it OTC? I do fall down on the daily moisturizing. I just don’t do it because I’m lazy. And then when the itching gets crazy I turn to my trusty pal Lidex.
I honestly can’t remember where we got the Florasone. It was OTC, but it might have been Whole Foods or some other “health” type store.
I don’t necessarily moisturize daily, but I do make sure to lotion up after long showers.
It would be interesting to see how that stuff compared to my Lidex. I’ll tell you I’m in love with Lidex and yes, I would marry it if I could.
After the week like I’ve had, I’ll take one day closer to my eternity in heaven over 1,000 year wait with no guarantees. Hands down!
Hallelujah sister.
I’d probably go for it, making the assumption that I had nothing to lose. Oh, wait – you said, “frozen within the week.” No. Changed my mind. I think I’d want the last three months to work on the Bucket List.
BTW, the “Best Line in a Post Award” goes to you for,
“Whooshes back to her freezing body and says “Fuck” upon re-entry.”
Too funny!
Wow, I think you’re the only one to jump in whole hog, Les. Psyche, guess not. Would you do it if you could have those last three months?
Glad you enjoyed that line. Truth be told, so did I.
Yes. Give me the last three months and then turn me into an ice cube. Nothing to lose.
I love the image of a huge ice cube tray the size of a football field with people in each compartment and then a huge hand lifts the whole thing and throws it in the freezer.
No.
I can’t believe how twisted the world has gotten in the short time I’ve been here. I think if I woke up 1,000 years from now, I’d be more horrified than ever at what has become “common” or “normal” for people.
Absolutely not.
Society does change drastically every decade, doesn’t it? And it seems with all of the new technology these days the changes are even more swift.
BTW, if House wore Chucks, those would be perfect for him! :-)
Think you have something there Angelika….lol
I can see that! Let’s start up a collection for him.
Knowing my luck, in 1,000 years they would be all, “this person was before GE (genetic engineering). She has totally crap genetics and she might reproduce. We can’t possibly wake her up.”
Or:
“Wow. 1,000 years and we haven’t found a cure this thing. What a bummer.”
Or:
“Damn those civic unrest agitators and their electrical-system-interrupting schemes!”
(laughs) That is an unknown I hadn’t considered. As I said before, best to choose the evil I know.
Has to be said I wouldn’t want to be frozen cos in 1000 years all my friends would have died too :(
That is the main detractor, I think.
This is easy–a great big NO! Even if it was a guaranteed chance I could come back, I would say no. Why would I want to come back at a time when all my family and friends were long gone, to a world completely foriegn to me? Imagine someone who died 1000 years ago getting plopped down in todays society.
No, no, no. Show me to the door. I will leave quietly.
The culture shock would be hugely overwhelming. And I couldn’t handle the social pressure, either. I wonder if people would be snooty — like Domestiquette inferred — because my genes/background was so old.
OMG Hola Cardio,
Before I get into my answer let me just say…I feel like I’m coming back after a long vacation. For whatever reason I couldn’t access your page in Vancouver unless I was at the client site. Needless to say while at the client site I am not supposed to be reading blogs, ugh!!! I had to share…speak to those Canadians about that pro-cess eh!
Anywho this is a big fat no for me. In particular because when/if I woke back up in 1000 yrs no one I cared about would be alive. All the jokes aside my family and friends keep me going. If I woke up and no one I care about was alive I would probably just die and that kinda defeats the purpose.
Additionally I never really thought about that whole heaven bit but probably because I misunderstood the question. I went in with the guiding assumption that if frozen you were more in limbo, not really dead therefore there could/would be no soul transference. But we all know what happens when you assume. And in that case I still would say no way…unless in the first life I didn’t make it to the pearly gates. Of course with a name like Faith I have a shoe in right???? Yeah I know it doesn’t work that way but the answer is still a big ole no.
I did miss you, Faith and wondered where you had gone. Canada needs to get with the program and so do the clients.
There’s a lot to be said for social/emotional support.
You bring up a really interesting point. The question did not specify that you’d be dead and then revived. While the whole thing is too much to contemplate in detail it does seem like somehow your living body would have to be in suspended animation which would imply some sort of sustained life.
I am banking on the fact that you will get into Heaven, due in part to your name, and that I will ride your coattails by association.
So if I die first I’ll be hanging out at the gates saying, “I know my name isn’t there on the list but I’m a friend of Faith’s. She should be here any minute.”
And St. Peter will look at his clipboard and say, “Yeah. Wait behind the velvet ropes for your “friend” to get here.”
Hell no. Imagine the freedom of thrre months of doing whatever the hell you wanted to do? Spend all your money, visit all the places you never got to go, quit your job, whatever!
Living 1000 years from now will likely be so complicated. It would be miserable trying to catch up to all the technological advancements. Plus, the whole world will have a collective history that you will only experience through textbooks.
Bleh. Too much studying involved.
As you know, I’m with you but now that you mention studying, I’m more than 100% sure I’ll be skipping the freeze dried part.