The book of questions, Volume 39

59 VIPs have spoken »

disgusted-converse.jpg

Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts.

Today’s question comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.

And here it is, Question 206.

Would you be willing to eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000?

This question seems so cute and naive in the wake of all of those crazy reality shows offering money for doing really bizarre things. I can’t even remember the name of the show that came out after Survivor but someone will remember for me and will mention it in the Lounge.

Fear Factor. It was called Fear Factor. Thanks for not failing me, brain.

Anyway Fear Factor, you may recall, exploited the layman’s desire to earn relatively large sums of money for little work, relatively speaking. I know I saw quite a few episodes involving bugs and creepy crawlies. Many times the participant had to eat a live bug(s) or had to sit inside a glass coffin for some amount of time covered in cockroaches and worms.

I specifically remember in that scenario (glass coffin/bugs) after one minute or so, rats were added to the mix. Ai chihuahua, I am shuddering and freaking out at the mere memory of it. I also believe, to further terrorize the experience, the participant had to lie in that glass coffin wearing a blindfold.

Enough about that.

This question works off that same concept. What’s the most abhorrent thing you would do for a large sum of money?

In this particular scenario with the cockroach sushi, my answer is a resounding hell no!

NO! Just in case you didn’t hear me the first time.

There is no amount of money that would make me eat live crickets or any sort of bug.

Go ahead, throw your unrealistic scenarios at me.

Mr. C is on life support, my children are minutes away from being mauled by lions and tigers and bears. I can stop those things by eating the live crickets. No way.

I love you Mr. C and I will learn to cope with your absence from my life via powerful anti-depressants and a team of highly trained psychiatrists and therapists. It will be difficult but I’m not eating crickets for you.

And p.s. — get off your high horse right now, buddy. You refuse to answer these types of questions because we both know it’s never going to happen. That’s a non-answer and I defy you to eat those crickets in this reverse hypothetical situation.

You know my stance, there’s nothing wrong with admitting you feel the same way and would choose pulling the cord over eating the crickets.

As Elaine Benes said, “Yank it like you’re starting a mower.”

And regarding my sweet children, I will hop into the fray and attempt to fight the lions and tigers and bears and later we will all meet up at the Pearly Gates. But again I say no.

I will not floss cricket shards from my teeth to keep my children alive. I’ll have the phone number of the aforementioned psychiatric team and I will employ their services instead.

But I do love all three of my children and I am willing to risk being mauled and torn apart limb from limb for each one of them.

I just won’t eat crickets. For anyone.

59 VIPs have spoken

  • Solomon says:

    I’d eat dead crickets. I’d eat them for a lot less than 40 grand, too. Providing they were dead. The thought of something living, in my mouth, trying to get away, bothers me. The thought of killing something bothers me too, given the immediacy of it. And the fact I’m using my teeth, not my hands.

    What a way to go. Being nommed to death. /me shudders.

    So dead crickets, yeah. Eating them might be a little uncomfortable, what with wings and feet and other cricket-appendages being stuck in my teeth, but I’d be far more willing to do that than eat rare beef or something.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Really, you’d go with dead?

      I think I could eat a rare steak (which I hate, I go well done every time) over live or dead crickets. And I’d have to earn over two million AFTER TAX for the rare steak.

      I’m not holding my breath for that deal to come through, though.

      • Liz A. says:

        Dude, I would eat steak tartar for $100. Texas Roadhouse, I err on the side of caution and get med rare, but at a schmancy place like Ruth’s Chris, rare baby. Bloody all the way, the texture is sooo good.

      • Solomon says:

        I’d go with dead over living, yes. having something crawling about in my mouth, trying to get out, while I was trying to chew it? Ick no.

        Imagine the gag reflex you’d have if it tried to crawl down your throat? EEEK!

        • cardiogirl says:

          Oh, no. Not the gag reflex. You’re making me gag right now, just considering it (turns away to dry heave.)

  • Musingwoman says:

    A bowlful of them?? Never in a gazillion years!

  • Lin says:

    Did you ever SMELL crickets???? Ewwww. I know what they smell like because we had to keep them in a container when the frogs would come in for winter–we’d feed them crickets. They are disgusting, smelly creatures and NO, I don’t think I could eat a live one. As for dead–they are even more smelly. Ick. Maybe, just maybe if they were dried or something, but just the thought of their little tiny cricket insides coming outside…..ewwwww. Oh, just to add a little more “ewwww” to this–they also eat each other if you don’t provide food for them. Thanks for the gross-out before breakfast.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Thankfully I can say no. I have never smelled a cricket dead or alive.

      You are some kind of special Lin to go to those great lengths to keep your frogs alive and happy. That’s way more than I would ever do.

      Ever.

      If I am reincarnated as a frog, I’m looking for your house.

  • Soonerchick says:

    Echh. First off, I refuse on any condition to eat anything that is alive. I cannot even eat things that I have SEEN while they were alive. I like my meat and fish to come nicely anonymously wrapped in some sort of container. I could not eat a hamburger, for instance, if I had personally seen it’s exact source at any point before. I like the disconnect between the animal and the food. Second, there is no way I would ever eat, dead or alive, any type of bug for any reason whatsoever. I have seen those National Geographic-type shows where the natives chow down on handfuls of crunchy specimens, wings, legs, antennae, and all (MMM! The protein!) and it makes me vomit. Sure, one could blather on about cultural differences and trying new things, but it will fall on (my) deaf ears. Some things are just revolting across cultural lines.

    • cardiogirl says:

      I’ve heard the same thing — from watching Survivor — that certain cultures eat cow brains as delicacies, etc. Glad I’m living in Michigan when it comes to that one.

      I, too, need the disconnect between my meat and my mouth.

  • Susan says:

    There’s nothing in the question that says you’re not allowed to get extremely drunk first. I think for forty grand, I’d have a six-pack and down those crickets with a glass of Coke.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Susan, I like the way you think! It never occurred to me to get blasted first and then chow down.

      I love that your drink of choice, to go with the bowl o’ crickets, is a Coke. Now is that a Southern Coke where it could be Dr. Pepper, Pepsi or Sprite?

      Or is that a Coke above the Mason-Dixon line where a Coke is an actual bottle of Coca-Cola, aka, a Coke.

      • Soonerchick says:

        I love that you know the difference between a “southern coke” and “other coke”! Most people who’ve not lived in the south cannot fathom the idea that “coke” can mean anything from strawberry soda to dr pepper to actualy coca-cola. But never root beer or cream soda. Those two are sacred and can never be referred to as “coke”.
        Guess you can tell where I’m from.

        • cardiogirl says:

          Whoa, whoa Soonerchick. I am like a puppet whose strings are being pulled by Liz. She is the one who clued me into this just days before this post. I believe it was actually on the cookie sheet post, if you can believe that, since coke in any carnation has nothing to do with cookie sheets.

          Now I must tell you that you have added to my knowledge of the Southern coke deal. I did not know that root beer and cream soda did not fall under the coke umbrella. That’s very bizarre to me and I won’t even get started on the pop/soda argument.

          One last thing on the root beer/cream soda. Are those actually referred to as root beer and cream soda? I must know these things.

        • Buf says:

          Didn’t know that in the south coke couldn’t be rootbeer or cream soda…good to know although I don’t drink either one. I learned about the coke being everything else thing when I lived in the TX panhandle. A buddy asked for a coke so I brought him a coca-cola but he wanted a Dr. Pepper…I’m from OH, it’s pop to me.

          Regarding the pop v. soda debate, here’s a link to a map that shows where people say soda, pop or coke.

          http://popvssoda.com:2998/

          • cardiogirl says:

            Hey Buf, I have seen that map before — I love it. I love that someone took the time to research this and actually highlight the borders of the US so I can check it out.

            I know. They didn’t do it for me but it makes me feel good to think that someone thought of my brown ponytail and the joy it would give me to look at a map like that.

            • Soonerchick says:

              Yes, root beer and cream soda are referred to as such, respectively. Although both tend to be reserved often for ice cream floats, i.e., “ya’ll want a root beer float?”

              It is possible to drink either root beer or cream soda plain, straight from the can, but some folks consider this blasphemy. The preferred method is either in a frosty mug (such as at a soda fountain or restaurant) or a glass bottle (such as that from the drugstore cooler).

              Cans are generally reserved for beverages such as beer.

              There, you’ve had your lesson in Southern Culture for the day! :)

            • cardiogirl says:

              Of course the next question that pops into my head is:

              “Is it mandatory to use the word ‘ya’ll’ when asking about the float?

              I think Southern women are more refined than Northern women. I drink my pop/soda/coke straight outta the can.

              And if I’m lucky I’ll be able to time a word to coincide with my burp.

            • Liz A. says:

              See, you know what’s funny? Southern women know when to drink their root beer/actual beer from a can and when to set out the finger bowls.

              As a Southerner, I use no other abbreviations for plural you. There’s no youz guys. Two people = y’all. I bet you would laugh if you heard me speak.

              Liz, we hit eight comments. My reply started a new thread at the bottom of all of the comments. What a drag that it won’t start moving left again when we hit the number maximum. Damn you WordPress.

  • Steve says:

    There’s not much I WOULDN’T do for that kind of money. Besides, lobsters are just glorified insects…if they were an inch long, we would call them bugs and no one would eat them (do you know at one point it was AGAINST the law to force prisoners to eat lobsters, since it was considered cruel?). Cook ‘em up and I’ll eat them.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Damn Steve, you are one adventurous monkey, you know that?

      I hate lobster or any kind of seafood, so I can’t relate. But that is interesting about the prisoners and the lobsters. Yuck.

      But you said “cook ‘em up” would you go raw, aka, alive?

  • Natural says:

    this wasn’t supposed to be funny right, but i laughed every time i read it. i particular love this declaration of “i love you but” …i love you mr. c and i will learn to cope with your absence from my life via powerful anti-depressants and a team of highly trained psychiatrists and therapists. it will be difficult but i’m not eating crickets for you.

    i rather be shot in the leg than to eat a live bug. my answer is no. now i might eat a dead bug considering it were mixed in with cookie dough, but i couldn’t just pick one up dead or alive and eat it. i’m with you girlfriend. i love you but..the bug scares me more. i freak out now just seeing a bug and you want me to eat that? “i don’t think so. i don’t think so.” as uttered by elasticgirl

    • Liz A. says:

      I’m with you on being shot in the leg. I’d probably do that for 100k.

      • cardiogirl says:

        Wow, you have a high price for takin’ a bullet in the gam. One hundred thousand dollahs?

        I’d take that shot — this is if we’re choosing between eating the crickets and being shot in the leg, there’s no way in hell I’m taking a bullet in my leg for no reason or even for $40,000 — for $10,000.

        Hell, if I have to eat the crickets otherwise, I’m willing to go as low as $5,000 for the bullet.

        • Liz A. says:

          Yeah, I was thinking about this. This bullet would totally depend on where. If I got a full metal jacket to the femur, I better be getting a 100k. Flesh wound, yeah, I’d prob take 10-20k or so.

          • cardiogirl says:

            Interesting that you’re considering depth and intensity. I just assumed it was a full metal jacket somewhere south of my hip bone. Based solely on potential money received, it’s gonna take Fort Knox for me to even consider a bullet.

            But you throw down crickets or bullet. Yeah, I’ll take bullet.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Eh, funny is in the eye of the beholder. But just between you and me, yeah I was going for a smirk.

      I couldn’t agree more, Natural. Hands down I would take a bullet in the leg before eating a live bug. I would gladly take a bullet in the leg if those are my choices.

  • Buf says:

    I don’t think I could eat them live….the idea of feeling them squirming/hopping in my mouth gets me. I flash back to Star Trek where in the newer series the Klingons eat live Gagh (sp?) which looks like a bowl full of squirmy worms…Yuck!! When non-Klingons had to try them, most of them had problems with the movement inside their mouths not so much with the flavor….Yes I know I’m a dork and Star Trek provides way too much guidance to my life. :D If they were dead I would probably at least try one. I’d only do the whole bowl if it was a truly a life or death situation or if by some freak of nature, I actually liked my sample one.

    • cardiogirl says:

      I love that we live in two different worlds, Buf and yet we are good buddies. My world involves Seinfeld references (trying to be replaced with SpongeBob SquarePants) and yours involve Star Trek and its many incarnations.

      I just have to ask and there will be no judgment regardless of your answer.

      Have you attended a Star Trek convention?

      • Buf says:

        Well I admit I did go to one small convention. (turns red with embarrassment…shakes fist at all who are judging) I did not dress up though! It was cool. I wouldn’t mind going to another larger one if the opportunity presents itself. On my 30th birthday, I spent about 3 hours in Star Trek the Experience in Vegas. My friends went through it in about 10 minutes and told me that they would meet me in the casino….lol

        • cardiogirl says:

          YES! I KNEW it!

          You know, that just makes me love you more Buf. I appreciate that you own that Star Trek obsession interest and wear it proudly.

          If Seinfeld had a convention I would be there in a heart beat.

          One more question, because I know you will indulge me and I also appreciate that.

          Have you ever dressed up as a Star Trek character for a Halloween party?

          • Buf says:

            Suprisingly no I have never dressed up as a Star Trek character for Halloween or any other day. I’ve never seen a uniform big enough for me and fluffy. I do own some Star Trek t-shirts and a soccer shirt that I have been known to wear. I actually just got one for Christmas this year…It was actually in my size, it’s black with Live Long and Prosper (with a outline of a hand giving the appropriate sign) in yellow. I was soooooo excited :)

            • cardiogirl says:

              Buf I love your honesty.

              I am not a Halloween kinda gal. The last time I went trick or treating I was 13. Damn straight, I was in eight grade (and roughly 5’6″) but I wanted the candy.

              So I dressed as the Unknown Comic — remember him? The point is that I wore my own clothes and a paper bag on my head.

              Since that moment in time my costume — when forced to wear one — is College Student. I dress as I am and add a backpack.

              I hate dressing up. So I enjoy that you have ST T-shirts instead.

              I want a Seinfeld T-shirt but the ones online are $30! Come on. I love Jerry and the gang, but $30? You know the T-shirt itself is going to be super, super thin cotton that will begin to wear as you sweat, much less during washing.

              I expected better of Jerry.

            • Buf says:

              Yeah of course I remember the unknown comic :) I’m not much for dressing up for Halloween either, although I did get roped into for a few years in my mid 20′s – Mimi from Drew Carey, Gilligan’s Island with a group of friends (I was the Skipper) and the fruit of the loom guys (I was the underwear)…lol

              Go ahead and indulge in the seinfield t-shirt, it’s worth it :)

            • cardiogirl says:

              You were the UNDERWEAR? How did you pull that off? (I swear there’s no pun intended there.) I might have to go with the shirt after all.

            • Buf says:

              LOL…I know I know. The costumes (or at least mine) were cut of cardboard or poster board. One of the group is an artist and she drew the giant tighty- whiteys for us to cutout. When then got to decorating it. I remember they had a bit of a wedgie on one cheek that exposed some hair and a tattoo…can’t remember what the tattoo said. Probably a bit TMI but without those details you can’t quite appreciate the whole ensemble. :D

              Get the t-shirt!!

            • cardiogirl says:

              Oh man, Buf. That’s awesome, actually. Snaps to the creative artist in the bunch. And I did need the detail to create a full visual, you should know that by now. Maybe I’ll tell Mr. C to get me a Seinfeld shirt for Mother’s Day.

    • cardiogirl says:

      I’m riding shotgun on your ick sentiment, beanie. However, would it change your mind if they were dead yet covered in chocolate?

  • Poolagirl says:

    How big is the bowl?

  • poopiebitch says:

    Um, no. Even if I weren’t a vegan, still… no way.

  • Kathy says:

    I can’t believe I made it through your post and all the comments. I’m rather sick now. But would I do it? I think so, because that would pay off half the rest of my mortgage and my husband and I are trying to see how fast we can pay off the house. I would consider it a major accomplishment to have done it. The $40,000 is tax-free, right?

    • cardiogirl says:

      Wow Kathy. Damnation. For just 40 thou you would do it?

      Yes the money is tax-free. If you are willing to down a bowl of live crickets you have earned $40,000 tax-free.

  • Liz A. says:

    No, no, no, no, no!!!

    So, when you fish for brim, crickets really do work best. Even though I have been exposed to cricket buckets (Yes, you can buy a scoopful of live crickets at bait stores.) ALL my life, I can’t handle even sticking my hand in that damn bucket and getting one out and putting it on a hook. Worms, no problem. Getting the fish off the hook, sure. I can’t handle the cricket bucket!!! My father thinks it’s hilarious.

    Once I tried a roasted beetle in an Anthropology class. I falsely thought if it was roasted, it may not be weird. I got a leg stuck in my teeth. Drove me crazy all day.

    And Pepsi isn’t ever a coke. I told you, the antichrist, but Dr. Pepper is b/c it’s bottled by Coca-Cola even though it’s its’ own entity.

    • Soonerchick says:

      I agree. I can handle impaling the worms, even, but jump-y, skittish, winged things are just too much for my fishing tastes. Besides, I tend to fish for stuff that prefers shad and chicken necks anyway.

    • cardiogirl says:

      @Liz You get major points for:

      1. being exposed to crickets all of your life,

      2. being able to bait a hook with a worm and being able to get the fish off the hook and

      3. trying a roasted beetle in Anthropolgy class.

      But most importantly you have earned my respect for not having a nervous breakdown from feeling a roasted beetle leg stuck in your teeth all day long.

      • Liz A. says:

        Soonerchick, I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has cricketphobia when fishing.

        It’s okay CG, shad is just any crappy fish you don’t eat. Small fish work well when you’re trying to catch larger fish, i.e. ocean fishing or large catfish in my experience. Different fish like different baits.

        My father loves fishing. I honestly think it’s one of very few activities he truly enjoys. 1 and 2 were necessary to my childhood.

        Luckily, the beetle leg was freshman year before the need of benzos presented itself.

  • Les says:

    Okay, hypothetical or not, there’s a loophole in this (unless these are also hypothetical crickets). Crickets are FAST. Crickets are hard to catch. I know this, ‘cuz some idiot delivery guy on his way to the pet store in the mall I worked at once dropped a box of them. They disappeared before they caught ANY as far as I know, and they all ended up in the ceilings above the stores.

    Crickets take WEEKS to die in a mall ceiling. Do you know what it’s like to try to work while a thousand crickets are playing Marco Polo above your head?!

    Digression over: I would agree to this, knowing that there’s no way a bowlful of live crickets would sit still and be eaten. They would have to drown ‘em in milk. And then I guess I’d manage.

    • Liz A. says:

      Hence, the specially designed cricket bucket they can’t jump out of. Nightmares, I tell you!!!

      Marco Polo, ha. Did you get crickets in your hair. I would flip out.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Um, no. No I had no idea how crickets lived and/or functioned in society.

      And based on this information I am going to say yes, these are hypothetical crickets and they somehow do not jump and jive until your mouth is closed.

      Am I correct in thinking you are agreeing to eat the crickets cereal-style in a bowl of milk?

      • Les says:

        Sure, I’d eat them! Assuming they obliged to stay on the spoon long enough to get them into my mouth. Bugs are very high in protein, you know.

        Kyla learned as soon as she was old enough to wander into the Great and Wild Canuckian Bush, that should she ever be LOST in the Great and Wild Canuckian Bush, she should find a tree and hug it, STAY by her tree, sing and talk out loud to her tree (so that a panicked Mom, the cops, the neighbours and the RCMP might hear her and find her), and NEVER eat berries. Eat bugs, instead. Berries might be poisonous. Bugs, on the other hand, are very good for you.

        Worms are probably the most nutritious, but I think I’d rather eat the crickets.

        • cardiogirl says:

          Well look at you all upbeat and ready to eat a bowl full o’ crickets with some ice cold milk.

          I still think I’d die from poisoning in the woods because I would eat those berries before I’d eat bugs full of protein.

  • Tonya says:

    @#$%^^*+ NO!!

    • cardiogirl says:

      gold-star.jpg

      Tonya, you made me laugh.

      You have just earned the VIP Lounge Gold Star of the Day.

      It was the coded expletive. That’s what did it. You caught me off guard and I laughed. A solid laugh will always earn a Gold Star.

      Now that’s a secret tip and I don’t want you to share that with everyone else because if you do I will have to give out more than one Gold Star per day and the stars, which are currently coveted — yeah that’s right, they are coveted — will lose their value.

      Supply and demand, jack.

  • Wendy says:

    At one point I was willing to attempt to eat balut (a Philipino delicacy of a fully delevoped chick in the egg) merely for the awe and appreciation of my fellow service corps teammates. However, nowadays, no how, no way, am I eating balut. The feathers on the wings, ick – double ick!

    Crickets on the other hand just don’t seem quite so bad. I’ve also had some experience with crickets, since my son used to have a tree frog as a pet and we had to purchase those little quick-critters weekly. After a while, it didn’t bother me to have to capture the ones when they would jump away – after all, we paid money for those little things. It would be like throwing away perfectly good food (for the frog, that is).

    I would have to psyche myself up for it (reminding myself that in other countries they eat crickets and other assorted bugs), but I could probably eat a small handful for money. I don’t think I could manage a full bowl – even if they had been made to somehow stay still long enough to stay in the bowl.

    Of course, this subject really makes me realize how ironically hypocritical I can be, because I know of other things (which others would find perfectly easy to fulfill) that I couldn’t possibly consider or pull off. I would give you a list of such things, but, you’d have to pick your jaw up off the floor. I guess everybody has their own hang-ups (although my hangups seem much more severe than simply being unwilling to eat crickets!)

    • cardiogirl says:

      Wendy you really blow my mind with that balut story. For some reason I always forget about that and when you mention it I remember it anew and am disgusted anew.

      And now I want to know what the other things are, but I’m not going to be a nosy punk. I will share a quick story from this morning that totally pulled me out of my comfort zone but in the scheme of things would be extremely minor to someone else.

      Went grocery shopping and got a line that had no one in front of me. I was loading all of my stuff on the conveyor belt. When I was placing my last item on the belt I looked up to see a dude in his early 50s (I think, gray hair) looking guilty as sin as he popped right in front of my food to the cashier so he could buy a newspaper.

      I was really pissed off because he took cuts. It was the principle of the matter. He just snatched that entitlement. His time was more important so he jumped ahead of me. It would have been different if he waited behind me, because for sure I would have said to him, “Go ahead, you only have a newspaper.”

      So he did that and then scurried away.

      I really thought long and hard before asking the cashier, “Hey I’m just curious. Did that guy just walk in front of my order to buy a newspaper?”

      She said no, she told him to go back to get it and that she wouldn’t have let him take cuts.

      The big thing here is that previously I would never have asked her. I would have smoked and steamed about that in the past. So for me it was a big step to be able to ask her.

      And last year I would have said I would not ask the cashier for $40,000.

      I guess I’m making some sort of progress.

      p.s. It looks like this comment of mine could have been a post. My Converse on top would say Today’s Mood is Self Righteous.

  • I have a very weak stomach. I don’t do well with new foods. I could do the other stuff, but not the food stuff on Fear Factor.

    I would not do the cricket thing for $40,000. It would take a lot more money than that. If it would save somebody’s life I suppose I’d do it, though. Icky.

    • cardiogirl says:

      I couldn’t do ANY of the stuff on Fear Factor, food or no. And I do feel like a massive punk now that you’ve said you would do it to save someone’s life.

      But I’m still not chewing a crunchy cricket.

  • Cate Subrosa says:

    I’d give it a go… gotta be worth a try!

  • sanjay says:

    eeeeks. No way. Raise it to a million and then let me think.
    eeeeeeeeks again. Raise it to 10 million maybe.

    • cardiogirl says:

      I truly think there is no amount of money, sanjay, for me to even consider ONE cricket in my mouth, much less a bowl full of them.

  • Angelika says:

    Can I get some hot sauce with that?

    • cardiogirl says:

      (Shudders) Yes. If that will make them go down, then yes, you may have as many bottles of hot sauce as you desire.

  • Simon says:

    Hi CG – Thanks for the nice comment you left on my final post! The real truth is I’m giving up so I’ve more time to read your blog.

    I’d *try* to eat live crickets for all sorts of reasons: to save friends and family, feed the starving, yes maybe even make lots of money, but I doubt that my stomach would co-operate.

    • cardiogirl says:

      You’re very welcome! (Smiles wide) I’m sure that was the real reason and it was just politically correct to leave the other explanation, right? That can be our secret.

      I gotta give it to you for throwing out the college try. I couldn’t even go that far.

  • Tim says:

    How about this: I hire a hypnotist to put me under, and he tells me the crickets are a new kind of M & M. Bye bye little rascals!
    I think I might eat crickets if someone had a rifle full of hollow points aimed at my leg. Can anyone picture looking at all of those bone fragments while you bleed to death?
    We used to freeze grasshoppers to take fishing. They come back to life – sort of. Frozen crickets might be considered live as well, and they wouldn’t be moving around as much until the heat from your mouth thawed them. So as long as you chewed fast…

    • cardiogirl says:

      Nope. If you take the crickets you take them live with your own faculties in tact, jack. Although you have brought up an interesting concept. I wonder if that’s possible. I would really want to watch a hypnotist try that to see if the subject would do it.

      I’m still standing firm on bleeding out through my leg. Naturally I would turn my head the other way, but I would probably feel compelled to take a peek. And I had no idea that crickets would come back to life after being frozen. They’re starting to sound like cockroaches.

      OH! Extra credit to anyone who is not Tim who looks up the relationship between crickets and cockroaches. How many degrees of separation?

      Tim, you are exempt in this situation because you have an unfair advantage. Chances are you’re going to come back here to read this reply. That’s like shooting fish in a barrel. Also I’m curious to see if anyone else reads through other people’s comments.

  • Gladehaven says:

    How big is the bowl? :P

    I’d probably eat crickets for $40,000…in fact…I definitely would…unless it was a huuuge bowl. I don’t know if I’d be able to do the cockroaches though…they’d probably make me feel very sick…I’d try though, I need the money for university.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Gladehaven you are one dedicated student.

      And just for the sake of argument the bowl is 12 ounces and will hold at least 127 crickets — potentially no more, definitely no less. So I suppose the bowl is ancillary, it’s 127 crickets. Is noshing on 127 crickets worth 40 grand?

      That’s roughly $314.96 per cricket.

  • Bumbles says:

    Uh – NO. I’m with you on this one. FYI – we gave you some love on our site today.

  • Lola says:

    I actually think I would do it. I would have to try not to think about it too much though and then I’d use the money to take an extravagant vacation (because it’s been way too long since we’ve had a real, at least a week long vacation). And I would for sure order up a nice meal after the contest. A nice steak, something I would enjoy and think about, rather than the gross experience I just had. And I’m sure I would also make some other extravagant purchases, like some new clothing for myself and Anastasia. I can’t remember the last time I even bought a pair of jeans. That’s sad.

    You’ve been tagged. Stop by and check it out:
    http://lolasdiner.blogspot.com/2009/04/ive-been-tagged-8-things-meme.html

    • cardiogirl says:

      (grabs head and screams) Wow Lola. I think you are the first person to fully admit, yeah I think I’d go for it and I’d take that 40 thou and spend it happily. I admire that, Lola.

      I’m also surprised at how large amounts of money on game shows no longer impress me unless it’s over one million. When I saw $40,000 I felt like that model Linda Evangelista from the 80s — “I won’t get out of bed for less than $50,000.”

      Linda actually wouldn’t roll out of her Sealy Posturepedic for less than $10,000.

      I’ll have to check your meme, I don’t know if I can come up with eight things on a slew of different scenarios.

  • Liz A. says:

    1. I have a huge T-bone food baby. I thought about you while eating it, because I just managed to prepare a red, tender and bloody grilled culinary peak, like for my life. There’s no blood in my head.

    2. My voice is certainly not as Southern from someone, say small town in South Georgia, but apparently we all sound the same to Yankees. Most women exclaim, “You’re accent is just so cute, say y’all again!!” Then I’m requested to say “Yankee” things like, how you doin and youz guys. I can’t, seriously. I sound ridiculous. My vowels are very long.

    3. I’m glad it’s a nice inflection. When I hear a recording of my voice it sounds very high pitched. My husband assures me it’s not but I don’t if I believe him. Though I should, he’s right about almost everything, it would be annoying, but then’s he’s always right, so how can you be annoyed?

    • cardiogirl says:

      1. Gross.

      2. I love asking someone with a different accent to attempt to do mine. I find my Rs are, apparently, nasally to non-Midwesterners.

      3. Don’t you hate it when your husband is always right?

      Mine is not always right but he is very honest. Now he doesn’t walk around throwing out opinions, but when I ask him “Do I look fat in this,” he will reply honestly. Sometimes the answer is no.

      And sometimes he will say, diplomatically, “If you saw that on another woman you would think it didn’t look very good. It’s sort of tight.”

      I have to say it’s very nice. Although yesterday, unprompted and after I walked in from working out at the Y he told me I reeked and asked me to take a shower immediately.

      Fine, shet bag.

      • Liz A. says:

        Yes, I think R’s tend to be different. I just drop mine off the ends of words. That’s why when people try to do a Southern accent you start hearing crap like. Ovah there-ah.

        http://www.artistdirect.com/nad/window/media/page/0,,904822-3031818,00.html

        That is what men in my family sound like.

        Yeah, I have to say one must adjust to brutal honesty. But Jeff typically just makes suggestions like, Gee honey, how about never cooking this again.

        • cardiogirl says:

          I can totally see why my R would sound nasally by comparison. Man you learn something new every day.

          Well, there’s something to be said for subtly, right?

    • cardiogirl says:

      I just can’t stand my other comment back to you hanging in mid-air like that. So I’ve attached it to this thread. And deleted the orphan down there.

      What a bummer when we hit eight comments the return reply bounces down to a new thread. That’s bogus.

      Now I really want to hear your voice Liz. In my head, if you can believe this, you have my accent but a different woman’s voice. Isn’t that crazy?

      I can’t tell whose voice it is, but it ain’t mine. Mine has a crazy monotone and whoever is inside my head reading your comments has a nice inflection.

  • erin says:

    For 40 grand I probably wouldn’t do it. Life and death of a loved one? I don’t know for sure, but I’d like to think I could do it. The gag reflexes may kick in, but I don’t plan on testing it to find out! Really, I just hope I am never presented with this hypothetical situation in real life.

    • cardiogirl says:

      Welcome to the Cardiogirl Empire, erin! Have a look around; Jeeves is at your beck and call.

      I admire your win-one-for-the-gipper attitude regarding the life of a loved one. Way to go, erin.

      I still stand by my psychiatric team.

  • Melissa says:

    Okay, I’m back to answer now. Forgive me for not reading all the other comments like I usually do. I’m sure they’re a fabulous read, but I have sumthin in the oven dang it!

    But no, no I would not do it. I cannot do the bug thing, I just can’t. I’m not afraid of bugs like I was when I was a kid. They don’t bother me any more. But I couldn’t eat one unless perhaps – PERHAPS – I was trying to survive in the wild and only then if I could make a fire and cook it and wrap it in leaves and herbs or something (always thinking cooking HAHA). But a bowl of crickets, live or dead, no way, nuh uh.

    On a related note, I had a couple of dreams in the last few years where I ate a huge cockroach and was trying to pick parts of it out of my back teeth. Yeah. *VOMIT*

    • cardiogirl says:

      Hey Melissa! I’m still afraid of bugs, except I can stifle my screams as an adult. They still really freak me out and if I were hooked up to a blood pressure machine you would see that bad boy spike crazily whenever I caught site of a bug.

      I love that you’re looking for a way to make the bug appetizing via leaves and herbs!

      And I second that emotion *VOMIT*

  • chris says:

    what exactly constitutes a bowlful? and do i have to chew or can i swallow em like pills? not a huge fan of bugs, but i’ve eaten some before on random drunk dares so 40 grand would be a lovely substitute for drunken pride and bragging. my failings would be either losing interest after a few crickets (seriously, if i ate 5, how many more do i need to eat to prove i’d eat them?) or giving up because i was annoyed by the crickets cricketing. who wants to listen to that while you’re trying to eat?

    • cardiogirl says:

      After being asked this quite a few times I have deemed the bowl to be 12-ounces and it will contain no less than 127 crickets.

      Fifteen extra points are awarded to you for creativity — absolutely you can swallow them like pills. I hadn’t even thought of that.

      And, okay, you’ve got a valid point there with proving your intentions after eating five. However, I’m going to mandate, for 40 thou you must eat at least 40 crickets. Yes, one thousand dollars per cricket, because you have to want that money really bad. And if you’re willing to go for five, you must be willing to finish off 35 more.

      And just for you chris, I will allow earphones belting out your choice of music to combat the chirping.

  • Chris says:

    Oh hells no! And that’s my final answer, Regis. **HUGS!!**

  • Buf says:

    That’s the best way to get a t-shirt plus it’s something only for you not for you the mom or you the wife.

    • cardiogirl says:

      I do believe you have turned the tide, Buf. Crazy idea — something that further speaks of just me, Cardiogirl. Although I will (should) admit that I do have that angle covered with my low tops. But dammit I’m worth $30! Aren’t I?

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge

Related Posts Widget for Blogs by LinkWithin