How reliable am I? I dare not say. I’m not sure. I’d ask Todd but I don’t think I’d like the answer.

Let’s break it down.

a) Friend says “Hey can you drive me to work?” I say Yes. Barring a terrible accident, I will be there.

b) A friend invites me to a party. I say, “I’ll be there!” I will be there unless I totally forget or am sick. (recently, I completely forgot, it was weird)

c) A source for work says “Oh will you come to our fundraiser? Everyone will be there!” I say, “I’ll be there!”
I won’t. I am VERY bad about this. I’ve gotten so bad about this that I have finally given up and now say “I’ll try.”

d) Josh asks me to go to his school for lunch. I say yes. I am there.

e) Friends says, “Hey, want to come over later?” I say OK. Chances are decent that I’ll call back later and say “Ehhh, I’m not in the mood.”

I think it really comes down to this: If someone is really counting on me, I really try not to leave them in the lurch. If it’s a general commitment (a la, I’m one of 400 people invited) I don’t care.

As for trusting other people, that’s a bit complicated. I expect people to do what they say they will if there’s something concrete at stake — work, logistics, etc.

When it comes to friendship/relationships, I expect the best but nothing shocks me to the core. If my husband cheated on me, I’d be surprised and heartbroken, but deep down, it wouldn’t trash my world view. Yes, most people are honorable and decent, but the bottom line (to me) is that most people will choose themselves over someone else. Survival instinct? Beats me.

I absolutely love the break down! But I must say I’m so surprised that nothing really shocks you to the core. I wish I could say that, but I’ve had a lot of bizarre stuff happen in the last while and I can say it did shock me to the core and it did trash my world view. I’m working on adopting your philosophy but it’s been a difficult road for me.

As for trusting others… I generally am quite trusting of people at first, but I get much more cynical over time. Most people I know, I know how likely they are to keep their word (some close to 100%, others under 50%) and prepare myself accordingly.

I do the same thing these days regarding a promise. In fact I am very clear with my kids about what I can promise and what I will *attempt* to do.

Now, secrets I will take to the grave but for some reason I CANNOT be on time. No matter how hard I try – which is weird – because I used to firmly believe and live by the rule that “late is rude”. Actually I still believe it but for some reason I am late for everything. Except when I am babysitting my grandson…….then I am NEVER late! Go figure…………..

That’s really interesting to me regarding tardiness, Susan. I feel the same way you do about giving my word then falling short. And I think I’m pretty good at keeping a secret.

“I will stop smoking” No, probably not.
“I will only eat one cookie” Maybe.
“I will be there at 9am” Yes.

If someone else is depending on me to do it, I’m more likely to follow through. If it’s just about me and my own will power or desires, I have to be in the mood to do it, LOL.

(laughs) Yeah, I seem to have the same methods. I do want that cookie, dammit. But if it’s the last cookie at work and someone else wants it I’ll gladly step back and tell them to go ahead. I didn’t want that cookie after all.

And then I’ll think about that cookie on and off for the rest of the work day.

I tend to trust people until I learn I can no longer trust them. One thing I’m learning is that I have a hard time trusting MYSELF… lack of confidence in my doctor’s speak. And that’s the truth. And it sucks. And I’m a jumble of anxiety as a result. Sigh…

Ugh, been there, continue to be there.

You say that industry’s release of carbon dioxide is mostly responsible for global warming? Would that be because you’re heavily invested in carbon dioxide sequestering systems?

Even early on, I learned that sales people were motivated by their desire to sell stuff, not by an altruistic desire to be helpful. And I stopped believing in commercials before I became an adult.

I’m generally not too reliable for too many reasons to list. But if the stakes are very high, I think I can be counted on.

Definitely motivation plays a huge part in a person’s actions. That’s where I kept getting tripped up. I used to assume the best about everyone’s intentions. I mean, if I would not act that way surely everyone else has adopted my belief system. Clearly that is not the case and it’s been hard for me to realize that and adapt to that.

You’re very realistic and honest with yourself, SPG, and that’s a good trait to have, I think.

Anywho, for your question. I generally consider myself a trustworthy person. Although, I guess I’m not trustworthy at visiting my favorite blogs =/ But typically, when I say I’m going to do something, I do it. I believe one’s integrity is one of the most important things one can offer to another, so I take my word seriously.

As for trusting others, I used to. I’d go by the credo of: trust until they give you reason not to. Of course, that left a lot of opportunity for me to get burned, which I did. So now, I will outwardly appear to trust people, but I’m generally on the lookout until they prove to me that they can be trusted. Sad, but necessary, I suppose. **HUGS!!**

Hey, hey now. You are always welcome in the VIP Lounge whenever you choose to stop in.

I’ve been trying to work on that method as well, “I will outwardly appear to trust people, but I’m generally on the lookout until they prove to me that they can be trusted.” I know that doesn’t really allow me to make connections with people but it feels necessary right now. I guess we’re on the same wave for different reasons.

I wish I could say I was reliable. I do turn up to work punctually, on time, etc, but if I don’t want to do something, I simply don’t. No matter how much cajoling and whatnot is performed.

Well, Solomon, I’m impressed with your stick-to-your-guns attitude regarding the stuff you don’t want to do. And isn’t that an odd phrase: stick to your guns. I wonder where that originated from, maybe the Old West. I should Google that.

Found this at Yahoo answers, if you care: “It comes from a soldier’s responsibility to stay at his post, or gun, and not run no matter how difficult the fighting becomes.” I’ll buy that answer.

And I do trust people. Very much. But at the same time, I definitely trust my instincts. Keep paying attention to that CG – your own gut is invaluable.

You’re absolutely right about trusting your gut and what a difficult lesson that has been for me to learn. However, one that is serving me well. I guess they don’t call it the School of Hard Knocks for nothing.