Cardiogirl: 19% body fat 100% fun

good morning CG. i trust everyone until they give me reason not to.

do i do everything i say i’m going to do. 95% of the time, yes, although i NEVER make promises unless i’m CERTAIN i can keep it.

i have done some untrustworthy things in the past, oy vey, and it’s not a nice feeling when i want that trust back and can’t get it. i know from the other person that it’s not 100% there and that’s my fault. well can’t worry about the past right, just change the future.

but yes, if i say i’m going to do something, i will…unless it’s beyond my control.

i didn’t want to say anything about last week’s. i was like hey it’s friday, but hey, it’s your blog. :)

Morning Natural!

Oh well. It is my blog, dammit, and we will shake things up every so often. (But never again because I do need the consistency.)

Like you, I trust too easily and believe almost anything anyone says. When the trust fails, which is often, the relationship sours badly from my side. In all these years I have never been able to learn or understand the undercurrents & games people play. That is a growth area for 2009.

It’s hard to be involved enough to have a relationship and yet hold back enough to protect yourself, I find. I tend to overcompensate one way or the other like a pendulum. I’m attempting right now to find middle ground.

Call it a fault of mine but I don’t take most people with a grain of salt (is that how it is said?).

I believe you once I see the end result. Unless, I know you. When I know you I can take you for face value because I’ve been around you long enough to know that you are that person to believe.

As for your question, sometimes our word is all we have. I try to stay on the course of doing as I said I would do. And if I cannot make that happen then I will communicate that to said person. But in most cases, yes, I am a man of my word.

That’s how you say it (or rather it’s how I say it.) Certainly letting the other person prove themselves is a good measure but it’s trying to keep my hopes in check while I’m waiting them out that I find difficult.

So it looks like you and I will get along just fine, Urban Thought.

I make few promises – but those that I do make are generally HUGE. They have (so far) taken years to get close to coming through with – but I refuse to break them, even though I kind of wish I’d just kept my big mouth shut.

As far as “trust”? Please see Commandment #1, as per Ruby, in my sidebar.

At first, when I read your comment Les, I thought you were Lin — whose comment is just above yours. And I was like, uh how does Lin know Ruby? And then I thought well, it looks like I have another kindred soul, one who knows about Ruby and loves her as well.

Then I looked up at the name and realized that’s not Lin, that’s my favorite Shet Bag. So Lin, check out Les’s blog you’ll love Ruby. And Les, I’ve been adopting Ruby’s commandment these days and it’s working out pretty well.

I don’t trust everyone, I’m sorta cynical and think people usually have other motives. I guess, like you, I have been burned by some enough to learn not to trust completely. On the other hand, I think you can trust me. Especially if you need something done. But can you trust me not to grumble about it? No way! For the most part, the only person I trust is me, and that is shaky sometimes!!!

I’ve noticed that a dash of cynicism is a good way to balance things out. And I cannot live in a society that does not allow grumbling. Feel free to grumble as much as you want here in the Lounge.

I am very reliable. If I say I’m going to do it, I am. And usually go over and beyond while I’m at it because I so want to please.

Trusting people? I have been TOO trusting in the past, which has gotten me some very hurt feelings. Now I will think the best of you from the get-go, but I will hold back with trusting you fully until I see which way the wind blows. If I see that you’re a genuine, caring, trustworthy soul, then I will treat you as such. If I see that you’re a conniving, selfish person out to further only your own interests, then I will back away slowly till you’re no longer part of my life.

*DISCLAIMER: The use of “you” in the above is that of the general “you.” I am not talking to anyone in particular.

That’s interesting about your disclaimer, blue, because when I read the part above I assumed you used “you” in the general sense. BUT, if I had written that comment elsewhere (because it is exactly how I feel) I would have thrown down the disclaimer as well. Isn’t that funny? Just another example of great minds thinking alike.

I think you are a very trustworthy person CG. For instance, I trust that you will write something interesting M thru F and you have never failed to do so.

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said your intuition is right most of time. I have learned to trust mine most of the time. Especially when my vibes make no sense logically.

I think I am trustworthy but don’t count on me to be on time. I am more of a someone you can depend on person. Comes from my counselor training.

P.S. Are you getting EZ Combs ? Yesterday’s last comment was intriguing.

Thanks Frank! That intuition is a tricky little bastard, isn’t it? Sometimes it flies in the face of convention and yet it’s accurate a very high percentage of the time. I guess it has to do with the unspoken cues that everyone gives off while speaking.

I mean, yeah. They’re sending me the combs.

I’m empathetic to a fault,and have got burned one to many times too. I’m working on listening to my instincts and intuition more and opening my heart up where I choose. I’m compassionate and a good listener, I’m very reliable in those areas. My time management skills are a continual work in progress, so I can be kinda flaky and disorganized, but I’m reliable about my honesty in those areas, that’s a good thing maybe? Hey C Girl you can shake stuff up any ole time it’s all good! :)

That’s so interesting regarding your time management skills, Heather. I think you are the third person to note that. Based on my um, “less than ideal upbringing,” it was literally drilled into me to follow the rules and be on time. So I’ll leave an hour early to sit in the waiting room for 45 minutes just so no one is waiting on me. Not saying that’s the best method, but past experience has taught me to make sure I’m on time.

(pumps fist in the air) Sweet! Regarding shaking up sketchy memories :)

As much as it might be shameful to admit, I am not always reliable. I think I am with my family and friends, but I’ve had tardiness issues at work for years and I keep making promises about it to my boss that I don’t keep. I think he’s just given up at this point. I don’t know why I have time issues – but like I said, it’s only at work and at least I haven’t hurt my family and friends. I know it sucks, but I’d rather have my personal relationships be 100% solid than my work ones.

And I do trust people. Very much. But at the same time, I definitely trust my instincts. Keep paying attention to that CG – your own gut is invaluable.

You’re absolutely right about trusting your gut and what a difficult lesson that has been for me to learn. However, one that is serving me well. I guess they don’t call it the School of Hard Knocks for nothing.

I’m very untrusting. I have standards that I hold the people around me to, and if they fail to meet them, they fail to meet them.

I wish I could say I was reliable. I do turn up to work punctually, on time, etc, but if I don’t want to do something, I simply don’t. No matter how much cajoling and whatnot is performed.

Well, Solomon, I’m impressed with your stick-to-your-guns attitude regarding the stuff you don’t want to do. And isn’t that an odd phrase: stick to your guns. I wonder where that originated from, maybe the Old West. I should Google that.

Found this at Yahoo answers, if you care: “It comes from a soldier’s responsibility to stay at his post, or gun, and not run no matter how difficult the fighting becomes.” I’ll buy that answer.

Oh my goodness, it has been ages, dah-ling, AGES!! I apologize for the absence… I just go through periods where I don’t feel like writing/reading… or I’ll only read and not write… or I’ll only write and not read. That kind of thing. But know you’re always in my thoughts, C-girl dearest!

Anywho, for your question. I generally consider myself a trustworthy person. Although, I guess I’m not trustworthy at visiting my favorite blogs =/ But typically, when I say I’m going to do something, I do it. I believe one’s integrity is one of the most important things one can offer to another, so I take my word seriously.

As for trusting others, I used to. I’d go by the credo of: trust until they give you reason not to. Of course, that left a lot of opportunity for me to get burned, which I did. So now, I will outwardly appear to trust people, but I’m generally on the lookout until they prove to me that they can be trusted. Sad, but necessary, I suppose. **HUGS!!**

Hey, hey now. You are always welcome in the VIP Lounge whenever you choose to stop in.

I’ve been trying to work on that method as well, “I will outwardly appear to trust people, but I’m generally on the lookout until they prove to me that they can be trusted.” I know that doesn’t really allow me to make connections with people but it feels necessary right now. I guess we’re on the same wave for different reasons.

I’ve learned to not trust most people by now. Before I decide to believe someone, I first try to understand his motivation. Is whole life really better than term life? Yes, of course, because the insurance agent gets a much bigger commission from selling whole life policies.

You say that industry’s release of carbon dioxide is mostly responsible for global warming? Would that be because you’re heavily invested in carbon dioxide sequestering systems?

Even early on, I learned that sales people were motivated by their desire to sell stuff, not by an altruistic desire to be helpful. And I stopped believing in commercials before I became an adult.

I’m generally not too reliable for too many reasons to list. But if the stakes are very high, I think I can be counted on.

Definitely motivation plays a huge part in a person’s actions. That’s where I kept getting tripped up. I used to assume the best about everyone’s intentions. I mean, if I would not act that way surely everyone else has adopted my belief system. Clearly that is not the case and it’s been hard for me to realize that and adapt to that.

You’re very realistic and honest with yourself, SPG, and that’s a good trait to have, I think.

Generally speaking, I can be counted on to keep my word. On occasion, I do have to back out, and I tell the person.

I tend to trust people until I learn I can no longer trust them. One thing I’m learning is that I have a hard time trusting MYSELF… lack of confidence in my doctor’s speak. And that’s the truth. And it sucks. And I’m a jumble of anxiety as a result. Sigh…

Ugh, been there, continue to be there.

Depends on what it is.

“I will stop smoking” No, probably not.
“I will only eat one cookie” Maybe.
“I will be there at 9am” Yes.

If someone else is depending on me to do it, I’m more likely to follow through. If it’s just about me and my own will power or desires, I have to be in the mood to do it, LOL.

(laughs) Yeah, I seem to have the same methods. I do want that cookie, dammit. But if it’s the last cookie at work and someone else wants it I’ll gladly step back and tell them to go ahead. I didn’t want that cookie after all.

And then I’ll think about that cookie on and off for the rest of the work day.

I have to say that unless it is unintentional, I am true to my word 100% of the time. Now, since I am old and decrepit (I am 48 you know) then sometimes I might forget something but then I am so over ridden with guilt that whoever I forgot has to forgive me to get me to shut up!

Now, secrets I will take to the grave but for some reason I CANNOT be on time. No matter how hard I try – which is weird – because I used to firmly believe and live by the rule that “late is rude”. Actually I still believe it but for some reason I am late for everything. Except when I am babysitting my grandson…….then I am NEVER late! Go figure…………..

That’s really interesting to me regarding tardiness, Susan. I feel the same way you do about giving my word then falling short. And I think I’m pretty good at keeping a secret.

I’m a pretty reliable person, mainly because broken promises in my childhood led me to resolve never to make promises I couldn’t keep. As a result, I rarely promise anyway and only say I’ll so something/be somewhere/whatever if I’m very sure I will.

As for trusting others… I generally am quite trusting of people at first, but I get much more cynical over time. Most people I know, I know how likely they are to keep their word (some close to 100%, others under 50%) and prepare myself accordingly.

I do the same thing these days regarding a promise. In fact I am very clear with my kids about what I can promise and what I will *attempt* to do.

Fridays! I love Friday questions day!

How reliable am I? I dare not say. I’m not sure. I’d ask Todd but I don’t think I’d like the answer.

Let’s break it down.

a) Friend says “Hey can you drive me to work?” I say Yes. Barring a terrible accident, I will be there.

b) A friend invites me to a party. I say, “I’ll be there!” I will be there unless I totally forget or am sick. (recently, I completely forgot, it was weird)

c) A source for work says “Oh will you come to our fundraiser? Everyone will be there!” I say, “I’ll be there!”
I won’t. I am VERY bad about this. I’ve gotten so bad about this that I have finally given up and now say “I’ll try.”

d) Josh asks me to go to his school for lunch. I say yes. I am there.

e) Friends says, “Hey, want to come over later?” I say OK. Chances are decent that I’ll call back later and say “Ehhh, I’m not in the mood.”

I think it really comes down to this: If someone is really counting on me, I really try not to leave them in the lurch. If it’s a general commitment (a la, I’m one of 400 people invited) I don’t care.

As for trusting other people, that’s a bit complicated. I expect people to do what they say they will if there’s something concrete at stake — work, logistics, etc.

When it comes to friendship/relationships, I expect the best but nothing shocks me to the core. If my husband cheated on me, I’d be surprised and heartbroken, but deep down, it wouldn’t trash my world view. Yes, most people are honorable and decent, but the bottom line (to me) is that most people will choose themselves over someone else. Survival instinct? Beats me.

I absolutely love the break down! But I must say I’m so surprised that nothing really shocks you to the core. I wish I could say that, but I’ve had a lot of bizarre stuff happen in the last while and I can say it did shock me to the core and it did trash my world view. I’m working on adopting your philosophy but it’s been a difficult road for me.

I’m generally very dependable. I don’t like to be disappointed, so I avoid disappointing others. I’ve learned that the secret is to say “No” when someone ask me for something I neither have the time, inclination, nor inspiration to deliver. (”Can you help me proofread this 500 page manuscript over the weekend?” “Sorry, no.”)