The book of questions, Volume 105
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Only 99 hours left until school starts.
Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts. Today’s query comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
And here it is, Question 13.
What would constitute a “perfect” evening for you?
With or without kids?
With kids: All three would eat everything I gave them for dinner, including the green beans, and declare, sincerely, how tasty it was. Why thank you kindly, girls.
They’d clear the table, wipe it down and then sweep up the food that fell on the floor. After playing a few board games — Don’t Wake Daddy and Cranium Triple Triumph — they’d yawn and tell me they were going to bed. And then they’d get ready for bed without any horseplay and fall asleep immediately after tucking themselves in.
Meanwhile I’d toggle between watching a marathon showing of Dr. G: Medical Examiner and Forensic Files. And as fate would have it, I’d never catch a commercial between those two shows.
Without kids: Mr. C and I would get Chinese takeout and eat at the coffee table in the living room like we used to. We’d watch Hardball with Chris Matthews (Mr. C’s show) while we ate and then we’d settle into the Dr. G/Forensic Files marathon. Mr. C would watch with me and actually discuss some of the heinous crimes we were viewing.
I would also rent Hobbes for the night and that cat would be my bitch. He would love me unconditionally — even though we just met — and he’d be happy to sit in my lap, chase a string and let me pet him for hours. I’d quietly slip him some of the chicken from my dinner and we’d bask in the sunshine of our love.
Later I’d have a yen for chocolate so I’d eat some Hershey Kisses and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. And someone, with clean hands, would have already removed the wrappers so I could submerge my dirty paws in the bowl without having to remove my eyes from the television screen.
Lastly, that Chinese food and all of the chocolate would have negative calories. I’m not talking about zero calories so it added nothing to my daily caloric intake. I’m talking about calories that were burned by eating the food. The more candy you ate, the more weight you would lose.
That, my friend, would be a perfect evening.
Tags: Things that are cool
I want some like that – the more you eat the more you lose lol. Sounds good!
That would make an awesome sales pitch for chocolate (or any other food): The more you eat, the more you lose!
Do you want the X rated version or the G rated version?
I knew someone was gonna have a spicy version. Here’s a challenge: give me the PG-13 version.
I’d be somewhere out in Nature. The weather would be dry but there would be a lot of cloud for the sunset, which would be lovely. There would be a huge bonfire, with singing and dancing. And a roast hog turning on a spit. Good company with lots of laughter. We’d dance and sing and laugh, and eat roast pig until the sun went down.
[Here begins the X rated version.]
(Laughs and kid asks, “What’s so funny?”) I like the prelude before the sun goes down…
Who could improve upon that? You set the bar pretty high, sistah!
For me it would have to be dark chocolate (instead of the kisses and pb cups), with a side of ice cream. Sadly, I don’t think it would be tv and the hubby, however. I would want to be surrounded by good friends discussing the play or movie that we just went to see. Somehow tv and hubby sounds pretty boring (maybe we’ve just had children for too long).
Oh, and in this perfect world, I would not only lose weight by eating the chocolate and ice cream, but I would feel healthy and whole and like my whole life is spread out before me. Man, would those be good vibes!
That bar is up there, isn’t it? Forgot about feeling healthy after the candy. That’s a necessary tweak to my scenario.
Ooooh, that Hobbes would be diggin’ you, CG! The temps have turned cool lately, so the Stripey Goodness that is my Hobbes is extra lovey these days.
Just yesterday I was on the computer and he walked up to me and meowed. After I asked him what was up, I sat on the floor with him and he showered me with whiskery head bumps and motor boat purrs. He was so into the lovin’ that he was drooling all over–it was great. Of course there is all that orange fur flying all over, but that is the price one pays for lovin’ Hobbes.
When it gets cool, homeboy is all about laps and snuggling while you watch the tube. Maybe that could be your evening without the kids OR the husband–just you and Hobbes. :)
Man, I miss the motor boat purrs. Awesome description, Lin. I could totally get behind an evening with just me and Hobbes but I didn’t want to make Mr. C feel bad. Even though he never reads my blog. Punk.
i am really liking the peeled Hershey kisses scenario. i would have never thought of that!
my perfect evening with kids sounds pretty close to yours… the kids doing what they are told and heading in to bed without something like “moooooooooom, can’t i just draw one more thing on my picture” or “moooooooooooooooooom, can we just wait until the next commercial?” yes. that would be nice.
my perfect evening without kids would be actually having my husband home from work at a decent hour (he works loooooongs days). i love Chinese food and he doesn’t, so having him say, “okay honey, i’ll eat it tonight because i know how much you love it” would be a good thing. and then a good movie, nothing too violent or stupid. maybe even a chick flick. huh. yeah, if it was my perfect evening i would enjoy the chick flick without feeling guilt, like i was torturing my husband by having him watch it with me.
:-)
Isn’t that funny how a wrapper can be so annoying? Talk a pampered princess over here. I don’t have *time* to unwrap the candy.
How can anyone shun Chinese food?
This one is actually tough because of all the possibilities.
Remember the question where the world was going to end? I kinda feel that vibe. What in the world do I want to do?
I want to go shopping with my mother. Glorious shopping. Where everything fits like I’m wearing Spanx and is on clearance. Salespeople start my dressing rooms and then leave me alone.
I’ll go home and get redressed with all my new wonderful clothes and go to dinner where I’ll have three Grey Goose dirty martinis, a beet, goat cheese and walnut salad, crab cakes with a rare filet, creme brulee for dessert and then a cosmo.
And this all happens near a casino so we can go play some blackjack afterward.
That should do it.
Yes, yes! I remember that question.
Man that’s a perfect world — “Salespeople start my dressing rooms and then leave me alone.” Although I don’t shop at places where the employees pay attention to me when I walk in the dressing room, so it’s not really a problem.
But it was a big time problem when I was buying my wedding dress. I’M NOT READY!!
With kids:
game night, have fun, kids are great. They go to bed early :)
Without kids:
Sex until we pass out. Then wake up and do it all over again.
Is there a perfect evening without sex? Hmmm…
Since that’s such a rarity these days it barely registers as a possibility even in my perfect scenario.
Uninterrupted? Until you pass out? And then again? That only happens at Christmas when my in-laws stay with the kids and we stay at a hotel for the night.
I liked your evening WITH the kids!
My evening with kids:
Order Pizza, Watch Movies, Stay Up Late Laughing.
My evening without kids:
Go to my local country club, sip on a martini, and watch the golfers.
Hey your golfing reputation precedes you, Meleah. I’ve heard about that from Jen and V.
This is a loaded question. I can’t even imagine what an “ideal evening” would be like. We don’t have kids, so that’s not a problem. I must be in a negative mood today, because everytime I think of something that would be fun and exciting or “ideal”, I also have a thought about how it wouldn’t turn out.
I gotta work on that.
Yeah, I sort of struggled too, since this is never going to happen until all three of my kids are out of the house. By then I’m sure Dr. G will have died and Oprah will have jacked up Discovery Health.
Hola CG,
My perfect evening would start with actually being in my resident city. I’d meet up with a few of my girls and we’d have drinks purchased by random mens (intentional misspelling). After a few hours of chit chatting and catching up I’d have the beau aka the boo pick me up and we’d head to his place with a bottle of vino and any romantic comedy type movie starring Sanaa Lathan probably Love & Basketball (sort of have a girl crush on Sanaa). I’d grab a shower and slip into one of his shirts and and some boy shorts. We’d watch the movie, sip some vino, laugh, cuddle and fall asleep.
Yeah I think that’s my ideal night!
I like that intentional misspelling, Faith. I wanted to fix it, but it’s a Faith-ism and I love your -isms.
Never heard up Sanaa Lathan but I actually know a Sanaa — she’s a personal trainer at the Y and she pronounces her name Suh-nah. Is that universal; is that how Ms. Lathan pronounces her name?
With Kid: She would eat all her food, and not be picky about her food (as in not turn down a piece of pizza because there is a slightly dark burnt piece the size of a dust mite on her crust), not describe every little detail as to what she is doing and why she’s doing it, would be able to sit through a whole movie with me and her mother without talking or telling us whats going to happen next if she’s seen the movie already.
Without Kid: Quiet relaxing evening, food served to me and a foot rub. Some wine or a delicious beer.
Hey RhetoricCamel — welcome to the Cardiogirl Empire; it’s great to see you over here!
Love the “Slightly dark burnt piece the size of a dust mite on her crust.” I know that experience all too well.
A foot rub, eh? Have you seen “Pulp Fiction?”