Sometimes God answers my prayers and when He does I’m jacked.
Now there are people who will say that He answers every prayer and when He
ignores me has no discernible response that means His answer is, “No.”
That doesn’t work for me since I am a black and white thinker.
If what I’m asking for doesn’t happen I just assume I got a busy signal and I need to keep asking. So far my track record on I’m-sort-of-asking-for-a-miracle prayers is zero; no reply. That sucks.
But my track record on small, sarcastic prayers is roughly 40/60. Many mornings I ask God to please let there be a clean white shirt for each one of my kids. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. But recently a standard prayer of mine got the green light.
I have been praying that my cable provider would add Investigation Discovery to the basic cable line up. Perhaps a lesser woman would have given up after a year or two, but my tenacity has finally paid off.
About a month ago I was flicking through the stations and suddenly there it was — manna from Heaven.
I can now plug into true crime 24/7. My kids call them my freaky shows and since my freaky shows have returned I could not be happier. I really find human behavior fascinating. I have no idea why some people believe murder is their only option. I just don’t get it.
I also find it amazing that a person would murder someone and then go to Home Depot wearing a baseball cap to buy two extra-large canvas tarps with his own credit card.
Then, that same person has the balls to sit in the police station and deny that he was ever at the store.
The cop: “We’ve got you on a surveillance tape buying a tarp with your credit card.”
The dude who’s totally guilty: “That wasn’t me.”
The cop: “You expect me to believe that you never went to the store and that you never used your own credit card to purchase a canvas tarp to wrap up your ex-wife’s body? You also expect me to believe that you never went to the landfill that your father owns to dump her body?”
The dude who’s totally guilty: “That was not me. I’ve never been to Home Depot.”
That’s when the cop pauses and says, “How did you know it was Home Depot? I never mentioned the name of the store.”
Bus. Ted! Roll the credits on another satisfying episode and praise Jesus.