Cardiogirl: 19% body fat 100% fun

I’m a simple gal; it doesn’t take much to make me happy. Sunshine, Converse low tops and/or chocolate — that’s the key to my happiness. So I am extra thrilled to share a recent discovery.

Finally — *cue CeCe Peniston* FINALLY — I figured out how to provide MY OWN default gravatar for those folks who forgot to bring theirs with them to the VIP Lounge. In the past I had to rely on a scant few choices provided by WordPress. As you may recall, I had monsters. Not my first choice, but beggars can’t be choosers.

Unless the beggar is an obsessive pit bull who. Will. Not. Stop. Until the problem is solved. *growls*

Yeah, that’s right. I’ve been gnawing on this problem for a really long time. I have stood in the rain, face turned up to the sky, while shaking my fists in the air.

I don’t want monsters. I don’t want quilt shapes and I will not stand for the grayed out silhouette of an anonymous head and shoulders. I won’t.

What I want is a Converse low top.

So after months of gnashing my teeth I finally figured out how to beat WordPress into submission. But not before I jacked up my site by adding code to the function file and then spending a while on the phone with Bluehost.

Thanks to the Add New Default Avatar plugin I can now provide a bitchin’ gravatar for all of the Lounge visitors who’ve forgotten theirs.*

Damn straight that’s the back of a Converse nestled in the lush, green grass.

No shirt, no low tops? No problem in the Lounge.

You’re welcome.

*Linda, I know you prefer stilettos, but you always forget to bring them when you stop by. This’ll give your dogs a rest while you’re here.

UPDATE:

We have a winner, kids! Junebug knocked it out of the park and figured out all five Wordles!

Mike came so close — he got the first four but not the last one. And I really did try to make that last one obscure.

***
I love Wordle. The last time I used it was in November of 2009 and since I haven’t created one in a while I figured it was time. Plus I thought it would be fun to play a game today.

Here’s how it works. I’m going to create a Wordle from a few of my old blog posts and you are going to guess which post each Wordle came from. When you’ve figured it out leave your answers in the comment section.

The first person to guess all of the correct answers will receive his or her choice of candy from Archie McPhee. Now don’t get too jacked — you can only pick one item of candy from the link I’ve provided.

You have until 1 p.m. EST on Thursday, March 31, 2011 to submit your answers. I will post the name of the winner that same day at 5 p.m. I’m doing it this way because I hate April Fool’s Day and I don’t feel like having to reassure everyone that this is not a joke. Okay?

Wordle 1

I was in a mood the day I wrote this post.

Wordle 2

I was feeling nostalgic when I wrote this one.

Wordle 3

Girlfriend was motivated this time.

Wordle 4

This day found me pondering some serious issues.

Wordle 5

I was on mission that day.

Last month I discovered the Craigslist word discussion forum. It’s basically the word association game but the way it appears in the thread it looks like poetry.

On a whim, I typed in Charlie Sheen to see if anything would come up and I struck gold, gingah. Just in case you wondered, I plan on squeezing everything I can out of the Sheen Winning! Warlock Tour of 2011. I haven’t written any of these poems, I’ve just come up with the titles. Feel free to snap your fingers in appreciation.

*Lights fade to black and a spotlight is trained upon a cross-legged, turtleneck-wearing, beret-clad, bongo-playing Cardiogirl.*

Punk Rock Princess
Charlie Sheen, Sheena Easton

Sheena was a punk rocker
Xena was a warrior princess

Kevin Sorbo, Michael Hurst
Bada boom, bada bing

Vanilla Bean, Shootin’ Machine
Part-time lover
Overtime, time-and-a-half, Two & a Half Men

Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards
Wild Things, wild orchids
Vanilla bean

Butter bean, heavyweight
I am a BUTTERFLY
I am an ALCOHOLIC

Chocoholic, fat bastard
Dick Cheney, ol’ shootin’ machine

Dogs and Dandelions
Charlie Sheen, dog house,
Cat house, cat and mouse
Krazy Kat & Ignatz

Felix, Feelit, Sigfried and Roy
Tigers, lions
Lions and tigers and bears

Predators, prey
John Wayne Gacy, quit clowning
Clowning around

Grab-ass
Crab grass
Dandelions

The Music Lives On
This is as addictive as 7000
Oops, no thanks
Rulemaker, Moderator
Presider, Presidio

George Lucas, Charlie Sheen
Busted, caught, stuck
Sandwiched
Sandwich Islands

The Earl of Duke
The Duke of Earl
Earl Warren, Warren Zevon

Dead & gone
But the music lives on