Stephen King taught me how to remove blood from a T-shirt
26 VIPs have spoken »
I just finished reading “Under the Dome” by Stephen King and I’ve gleaned quite a few interesting tidbits from that book.
This novel is truly epic. It’s over 1,000 pages and, according to the website, has more than 100 characters. I knew there were a lot of people in the book, but it didn’t feel like there were at least 100; I guess that’s a testament to his writing abilities, eh?
Anyway, it’s about a invisible dome/barrier that came down one day in a Maine town — sort of like a clear water glass set over a hill of ants.
Before I get into the fun nuggets, I’m giving the story 89 out of 100. It had a good beat and I could groove to it. I liked the characters and I did fight against the urge to jump ahead to resolve some of the sideline stories.
In my opinion, a good storyteller will make the reader peek ahead out of sheer anticipation. No question it’s a long read — and I do think there are roughly 250 pages in the middle that could have been chopped — but I did enjoy the story.
Herr King is still tops in my book. Now to the fun stuff.
I never thought reading a novel by Stephen King would teach me an easier way to remove blood stains from clothing, but that’s exactly what I learned. Usually I soak that stuff in a bucket of water with some OxiClean for a few days. Or a week, if I forget about it.
I also scrub the stain with shampoo (yep, I use Suave) and then follow up with some hydrogen peroxide. That seems to do the trick most of the time. But that’s a long process.
In the book a guy killed a chick and, not surprisingly, walked away with some serious blood stains on his clothes. So he went back to his house and threw his clothes in the washing machine and set the wash cycle to cold — like his mother taught him.
Cold water in the washing machine will remove blood? My mom never taught me that. She scrubbed blood stains with Fels-Naptha soap until her knuckles were raw. I used to do the same thing. It sucks.
Side note: I just have to throw out Jerry Seinfeld’s observation on bloody clothes because I think it’s funny. “If you have blood all over your shirt, I don’t think laundry is your biggest problem.”
Regardless, I seem to have and endless supply of bloody pillows, pillowcases and blankets ready for laundering. (Stops to ponder for a moment) maybe I need a humidifier in the girls’ bedroom and some salve in their noses. After I read that passage I put those pillowcases and blankets in the machine — set on cold wash and cold rinse — with my OxiClean and detergent. After the machine filled with water I did let the stuff sit for an hour before I ran the cycle.
Success, gingah! Many thanks Stephen King — you’re a rock star!
Next item learned — I would die quickly if I had to find a creative way to ingest more oxygen. At the end of the book lack of oxygen becomes a big issue. So two of the main characters are forced to suck oxygen out of a tire from a car. Yeah. I’d die from panic. I can’t even handle trying to breathe through a straw as an experiment.
An item to ponder. In the book, dogs routinely hear the voices of dead people and they’re cool with it. Hey, there were no cats in this book; I just realized that. In the beginning of the book there’s actually a list of characters and there are a few dogs listed there in the Dome. But no felines.
I guess cats ignore people whether they’re dead or alive.
Lastly, I enjoy the fact that Stephen King mostly focuses on moving the plot along via the characters. Naturally he describes the surroundings to give perspective, but he doesn’t spend an inordinate amount of time describing the colors of a cherry blossom tree.
I’m just an impatient reader. I usually want to cut to the chase. Unless you can turn a hell of a phrase I’m not gonna read six paragraphs about how a plastic bag floating in the wind is like a silent symphony. And yes, I did fast forward through that scene in “American Beauty.”
Let’s recap: The cold wash cycle does an excellent job of removing blood stains.
I tend to panic in a crisis and usually struggle to fight off hysteria.
While it’s an intriguing concept — dogs communing with the dead — it’s not enough to make me a dog lover.
And when reading a novel (or a long blog post) I will tolerate some sideline description but I want to move the story along. Unless you can describe it in an engaging way in six paragraphs or less.
Happy New Year! I’ll see you in January 2010 when the kids go back to school (next Monday — YES!) and we resume the Book of Questions on each Friday.*
*We both know you’re not interested in pondering those questions on Christmas and New Year’s Day. Don’t worry, we haven’t even come close to answering all of the questions in that book.
Tags: Things I over analyze
Cool! I grew up with Stephen King by the way, I’ve read just about everything he wrote up to around the year 2000, and sitting down to a nice long epic of his is something I miss. I just ordered this one on audio from the library. I’ve never listened to anything of King’s on audio, so I thought it might be fun – 30 discs worth of fun. (I’ve read over 200 discs in the Outlander series so far, so this is peanuts.) He does tend to go on at times…I’m sure he is proud of this trademark…but I can handle it. Stephen is King!
I was the same way! I read all of his stuff until about 1990 and then I had a super long dry spell until early 2009. Wow. I guess that was a 20-year dry spell, eh?
It was sort of fun to take the break because now I have a ton of books to catch up on.
I really loved Lisey’s Story and Duma Key. I was really disappointed when I finished those two. I think that’s pretty high praise for a novel.
THIRTY. DISCS?! Damnation. I’ve only listened to two books on tape. It was the mid-90s and my husband and I drove to Virginia (from Michigan) and back. We listened to Katharine Hepburn’s autobiography — read by Kate herself. And a murder mystery that sort of sucked.
Had to laugh as I re-read my comment. Those books truly were on cassette tapes. No disc player in the car back then.
Hey!
It’s weird, I’ve never heard or read of anyone having to suck air out of car tires to survive but this is the second time I’ve heard/read about it in the last week or two. The other was on an episode of Bones where Bones and one other guy were buried alive in a car. The broke into the trunk to suck air out of the spare tire. :)
I have to admit, I’m not very familiar with Stephen King books. Obviously, I know of him, etc but I don’t enjoy being scared so I’ve never read any of his books and I try to avoid his movies too! Yes I’m a scaredy cat and proud of it…lol
You just gave me a New Years resolution….Turn CG into a dog lover! ;) Since I’ve already opened your eyes to the wonderful world of Star Trek, I might as well move onto dogs.
Happy New Years!
I saw that Bones recently too. That’s not saying much because I’m watching one right now like I do every morning. I heart DVR.
@Buf That is strange that you’ve seen it twice. I did skim over that part in the book, but as I thought about it I wasn’t sure how they released the air because you have to press in that teeny spigot to release air. You know what I mean?
It’s funny, but I’ve found his later books (2000) to be much less scary, even though they still have these vague (read: not real) antagonists.
@Liz I’ve never seen Bones but if it’s like a fictional Dr. G or Skeleton Stories (have you seen that one? Awesome.) I might have to check it out.
I’ll check out Skeleton Stories and let you know. The main character is based on an actual forensic anthropologist and naturally they take the realm of technology too far like CSI does, but it’s not as blatant and satisfies my love of anatomy.
I kind of read this with one eye closed, because I’m planning to haul “Under the Dome” with me on vacation, so I didn’t want to be spoilered.
I freaking love that Seinfeld line about blood. That’s comedy gold, Jerry.
I did think about throwing that out — no spoilers included. Those weren’t spoilers were they? I hope not, I didn’t want to do that.
And that was totally comedy gold. I miss Jerry.
blood on clothes? depending on what it is, i might just toss it. if i just killed someone, i’m going to toss it. laundry is not my biggest problem as was stated. nose bleed? well the kid has them, so i wash immediately, by hand, and with tide.
i haven’t read one stephen king novel. mother just gave me a book by..um, what’s her name, um….oh! mary higgings clark, so i’m reading one of hers now. been looking for a new author for weeks. yes!
I love all the older Patricia Cornwell novels.
@V I always imagine, if I’m gonna off someone, that I would burn the clothes. I’d find some sort of incinerator somewhere and toss them in. I have no idea where I’d find an incinerator in Detroit, but I’d research that first.
Wow, you wash the nose bleed casualties immediately? I’m impressed. I’m a lazy ass with that. They sit, in the basement, forever. We have a lot of pillows and cases in this house.
I do enjoy a little MHC every so often. She’s like a comfortable sweater that I go back to in between searching for new authors.
@ Liz I like the old Cornwell stuff, too. For some reason I can’t get behind the new stuff.
I read a more recent one awhile back and it had to’ve been over 800 pages and while the last 150 pages were really good it took about 300 pages I could have lived without.
Really? Patty has a book that’s more than 800 pages? I haven’t checked her out in quite a while.
Yeah, it was more drama than the fun stuff. Marino attacks her, he goes to rehab. Drag. Now that I’m thinking it may have just seemed 800 pages, but I’ll definitely testify to 5.
The Stand was the first R-rated movie I saw. I had nightmares of the moon turning red for weeks. I was 11.
I’ve read one of his books. It was pretty short and I can’t remember the title. It was about a little girl lost in the woods. It was pretty freaky.
I’ve seen Shawshank about a hundred times. Seriously.
I’m 99% certain the air from a tire isn’t going to help you. It’s not the specific mixture you need to breathe for very long. I think I learned that in SCUBA, but that was over 10 years ago.
I scrub a little with baking soda and soak a little while in hydrogen peroxide. It works pretty well on mattresses and carpet, too.
A very clean humidifier can help a lot and keeping the nose as free of “crusties” as possible after a steamy shower. I had terrible nosebleeds as a child. My last really bad one was when I was 18.
I think I read The Stand in high school, never did see the movie.
Oh right, The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon. I did read half of that and got bored. Sorry Steve. I do love The Shawshank Redemption.
I hadn’t thought about using baking soda to scrub it out. I’ll have to try that as well.
I’m too scared to read Stephen King, but alas CG, I KNOW about laundry.
The best remover of a small blood stain is your own spit–it has enzymes. Now for large laundry stains, you have to use something like Tide, which has enzymes listed in its ingredients. Enzymes are what removes blood BIG TIME. Pour some Tide on the stain and scrub for a bit and rinse in cold water. Repeat as necessary. Then wash in cold water with more Tide in the machine.
I learned the spit/enzymes trick in my hand-quilting class. Go figure.
It’s official, I’m a loser. Hey, Happy New Year, pally!
I’ve thought about my own spit, you’ve mentioned that before. However, my blood stains tend to be large and I can’t seem to muster up enough saliva to cover it. Sad, but true.
Thanks for the tips, though! Happy 2010!
I tend to just watch the movies of Stephen King books — not because I don’t like to read or I don’t think that he’s a good writer, though. I’m not sure why, actually. Although I did try to read “The Tommyknockers” and got bored fast … but I was also like 11, so it may have just been that I had no real interest since it didn’t contain a horse in the first 10 pages. Single-minded much?
Also, you may have answered this in the past and I missed it … but when you say “ginagh”, how do you pronounce that? Is it like Ginger with a Southern or British accent (jin-jah) or is it like Inga with a hard G at the front? I’ve been pondering this for weeks now and finally decided to ask and put myself out of my misery.
I have vague memories of the Tommyknockers. I know I read that one back in high school as well. Oy, that was more than 23 years ago. AUUGGHH!
Ooh, I like the idea of it being jin-jah, but really I stole that from Kramer (Seinfeld.) It’s a hard G like Inga with a G in front.
As you can see, I love it and use it quite a bit, however, I also feel I use it sparingly. I know, that makes no sense, but it’s how me mind works.
If you use hot water, you’ll cook the protein in the blood. If it’s fresh, pour some salt on it.
Seems I never catch that blood fresh, so I’m going to have to think about cooking it. Yuck.
No, you don’t want to. Heat sets blood stains because it denatures the proteins and then that sucker is there to stay. My mom always let them soak in the bathroom sink so it made her wash them within 24 hours.
I always heard that if it’s a small stain, cold water and rub salt on it. It works too.
Thanks for the book review. I’m going to go to my library’s website and reserve it. It looks good.
Hmm. If salt works after the fact, I’m going to give that a try as well.
It truly was a good book. I’ll be interested in hearing your thoughts once you’re done. I have to say it was a tad daunting, however, because it was so long. But once I was in it, it didn’t feel that lengthy.
I am soooo getting this book. It will be my only New Years resolution.
Suh-WEET!! I’ll look for your review as well!
I’m not good at leaving notes. I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months. I just wanted to take a moment and tell you how much I enjoy your writing. Your entries are funny and thought-provoking. May 2010 be your happiest year yet!
Howdy Carolyn! Welcome to the Cardiogirl Empire (well to the VIP Lounge, you’re probably acquainted with the Empire.)
Thanks so much, I appreciate your kind words! I’m looking forward to a peppier year and happier would be very much appreciated.
I haven’t yet read this, but now I’m putting it in my library queue. (Yes, I’m a fiction writer, and I realize my dedication to not purchasing anything but reference books and borrowing everything else makes me a raging hypocrite, but I prefer to think it just makes a frugal bitch, so fuck it.) Also, fellow fiction writer, I understand King’s how-to, “On Writing,” is top-notch — we should both check that out. . .
When it comes to stains, I once read a “Real Simple” interview with a wardrobe consultant (cause you know, we all have one of THOSE in out back pockets), and she said she used nothing but Zout Triple Enzyme Formula. I can wait a WEEK to spray on that shit and toss it in the wash — filth, spaghetti sauce, blood, even INK, and have learned if for some phantasmagorical reason Zout can’t fix it in the first wash, you might as well resign that little girl’s top to a pastel-colored rag RIGHT NOW.
From one frugal bitch to another — yay-yeah! I never, ever buy books. I just don’t and I hear you on the hypocrite front. I don’t even buy reference books. Lame? Yes.
(Jumps up and down and nearly knocks her head on the ceiling) YES! YES! I read “On Writing.” I read it in November amidst my NaNo frenzy! It was really good, however, sort of unconventional. The first half or so was basically an autobiography which I suppose is somewhat necessary to give him street cred, right?
Like this is where he came from and how he got started. It really was a great read. Two thumbs — and a big toe — up.
I have a bottle of standard Zout from a long time ago, but after Googling this suckah I will be buying a bottle of the Triple Enzyme formula. Thanks for the best tip o’ 2010. So far.
When my DH’s shirt got a little bloody during the birth of one of our daughters (no one ever tells you cutting the cord can be messy), a nurse told him to dab some hydrogen peroxide on the spots with a cotton ball and it would come right out and not damage the shirt – said it was a nurses’s favorite secret. It worked on his shirt and later on my cream colored bedspread after one of DH’s bloody nose episodes.
Yay! It’s my Beth! (I need to get better at contact my real-life friends, gah.) Glad to see you, chica!
That’s so wild about the cord blood. I’m pretty sure that never happened to us. Or maybe it did and he didn’t tell me because he knew I’d never wash it out with a new baby in the house.
I use hydrogen peroxide as a chaser. I scrub the stain with shampoo and then when I’ve done the best I can I pour on hydrogen peroxide. I haven’t had much luck with just the peroxide and then the wash. But maybe if I did the peroxide as a pre-treater and then washed in cold that would work.
It’s good to see you here!
Yes, I’m still around – just when I think life can’t get any busier, it somehow does but I try to read your blog when I can – makes me smile – especially your quips on squirrels. Let’s try to get together!
Thanks Beth! I do need to hunt you down. Watch your back, I’m on your trail.
Well I finished this book last week. There were a bunch of cats and dogs fleeing the fiery destruction near the end of the book. Of course, I only noticed the cats because I read your post before the book… But as you say, no cats of notice.
I’d have to say, this was an awesome read. Not scary tho.
Tim, Tim. I’m not buying it. If you read the book, tell me who Chef was.
I do agree that it wasn’t scary in the standard sense.
You mean the guy married to Sammie but missing since spring, cooking up some really good crystal down at the radio station? Haven’t a clue who you mean :-)
I am *still* not convinced. What did he wear on his waist band at all times and, AND what was painted on the barrel of his gun?
Jeez, what do I have to do to get into this book club?
Weelll, sometimes he had a garage door opener, or God’s Remote Control, on his waistband. And his gun was God’s Warrior, which also sported a couple grenades hanging on it towards the end. And his buddy Andy had a rifle that went by the name of Claudette, and boy oh boy did he like to smoke fry daddies. Booyah!
(laughs heartily) Alright Tim, you’re in!
I will admit I scanned toward the end and I missed the fact that cats and dogs ran into the dome and were crushed. That’s why I’ve been questioning you — I thought you were making up the part about the cats, when really it’s that I missed it because I was trying to finish the book.
My faux pas, but you’re a very diligent reader to remember all of those details. Sweep the Leg to you, gingah!
No problem. Whenever I read a book that fast I always remember all the details for at least a couple of weeks. I did some serious binge reading on that one. It almost seemed real…
I’m half way through it right now and loving it. Though, it isn’t as good as The Stand, of course nothing could be. I knew the trick about washing blood in cold water but I am surprised to learn you got old blood stains out, so hooray for you!
I have to agree that King’s book “On Writing” is one of the, if not the, best book on writing I have ever read.
I haven’t seen any cats but I’m okay with that, was bummed about Clover though.
I read The Stand back in high school so my memory is a tad sketchy. I’m pretty sure I enjoyed it overall but thought it was somewhat slow-paced with too much description of extraneous stuff. I should re-read it to see if my impression has changed over 20 years. Wow, there’s a crazy concept since I nevah re-read books. Been there, done that.
[...] eyes are not deceiving you; I have written, a few times, about laundering blood stains. For how often I wrestle with blood stains you’d [...]