Spam Mash-Up featuring Carmen, Laura, James and Francesca
19 VIPs have spoken »
The Spam Mash-Up started a while ago when I discovered that some spammers are pretty clever and sometimes even witty. If you make me laugh you will get my attention, that’s a fact.
So now I routinely dig through the spam folder in search of a good nugget. Last time I learned of Gerry Rafferty’s death by cruising my spam folder.
Alright we have a quartet of judgmental spammers today. First up is Carmen Santalucia who was very complimentary. I think.
Absolutely brilliant. Best time I’ve had reading a blog post in the past 7 minutes.
I’m not sure of this, but she may have been employing sarcasm with that seven minutes quip.
Francesca, on the other hand, is blunt and to the point, but she did throw me a bone with a disclaimer at the end.
I’m not attempting to be rude here but I would be ashamed to add content material this silly on my web page. No offense.
Thanks for the feedback, Francesca. I suppose we’ll just have to agree to disagree.
Laura, however, did not mince words.
I used to enjoy reading your blog but lately it’s been a little boring.
It ain’t easy coming up with new content four to five days a week, 52 weeks out of the year, bitch. Just so you know.
But like a bus, you don’t have to wait long for a new spam comment to come along and replace a negative one. Case in point — Mr. James Chet.
You can definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.
I am enthusiastic, James. Thank you for noticing.
Don’t forget!
You still have time to play Name That Post. The winner will be announced today at 5 p.m. EST.
Tags: Things on which I have an opinion, Things that are fun!, Things that require my sarcasm
thanks, again, for answering my question. my question was when someone or something says/reads “you have until thursday” – does this mean wed. up until 11:59 p.m. or does this mean until the end of thursday (unless a time is specified). i always think the latter. grammar girl cleared this up for me in one of her podcasts and she said she would clarify because it’s vague and peeps interpret the meaning differently. so i still have time, cool.
It ain’t easy coming up with new content four to five days a week, 52 weeks out of the year, bitch. Just so you know.
amen and i don’t know how you do it. impressive. you’re a machine!
now i must go study my images. too bad i’m at work and won’t be getting any work done. did you see the social network?
whenever a coder was programming for FB and other people tried to talk to him and he didn’t respond, another person would say “he’s wired in” = meaning you can call their name all you want, but they are so wrapped up in their work, they will not be responding to anyone any time soon.
so when my boss asks how come my work is not done and i’m staring at your wordles, i hope there will be someone to tell him “she’s wired in” now step.
How early in the a.m. does v get up to always be your first commentor? And what kind of name is v? It’s not even capitalized.
Michael dah’ling, I’m up at 5 and I’m not always first. Heck my comment was posted after 9, half the day is gone at that hour. I also don’t fight for first, I just am., well for the last two days anyway.
I don’t like capital letters, they are the snobs of the alphabet. Lowercase letters are humble and recognize that there is always someone/thing out there bigger than they are. It’s a self-imposed reminder to always stay humble. Word to thy mother. I can’t type in lowercase now because I’m on my itouch and these capital letters are killing me.
V is short for V, like Cher is short for her height.
V is short for v.
What’s humble mean? Don’t try to confuse me with obscure words.
MikeWJ recently posted..Call Me Thor
i don’t know what humble means, but you just called me on my BS. i don’t capitalize letters because i’m lazy. there! i said it. that humble thing does come in at a close 2nd tho’ and it’s a reminder that i am nothing and nobody. now that you’ve made a girl cry, do you also want to take the leg someone gave me to stand on?
i’m going over to your blog right now!
O–>–<
okay you have a lot of comments and must be a super blogger. i'm afraid of you. i'll have to stalk you when i get home. don't forget to stay humble mr. i get tons of comments look at me, look at me. ;)
Just to recap: You are lazy, you have poor self-esteem, you are fearful, and you’re so poor somebody had to give you a fake leg to stand on.
I think I love you, v. I’m going to leave my wife and come find you, however long it takes. The Fates have clearly brought us together! Oh, Love, at last I’ve found you!
Oh, and I want to bring you an introductory gift. What size shoe do you wear, and is it the left or the right?
@v Finally! Someone who also whittles into the details. A few weeks ago I went to a store on a Thursday with a coupon that expired on that day. The chick looked at me like I was nuts when I asked is this coupon still good. Can I use it today, since today *is* Thursday?
She was nice enough when she said, “Uh, yeah.”
I did not see that move but I love that concept of being wired in. That’s what happens when I’m reading a book.
And nice call on the explanation of what v is short for.
@Mike You have to get up at two minus the first rooster call to beat v.
p.s. Don’t believe Mike about the shoe. Today *is* April Fools Day.
It sounds like Mike and v want to play spin the bottle. But Cardi, is you closet clean enough to accomodate them?
If I Were God… recently posted..A new Goddess takes the throne
*Quickly opens the closet door then slams it shut before everything falls out*
Hmm, the closet is a no-go, God. Maybe they can use the crawl space under the deck.
I am almost embarrassed to admit this. I’ve never gotten any spam. Not good spam. Not bad spam. Nada! I suppose I feel like the kid on the playground who doesn’t get chosen for any of the teams. Never mind that I don’t know how to play any of the games, it still hurts. But I really didn’t realize there was “snarky” spam either. I thought it was all neutral stuff like “I love this post. Click here for Reboks”. Maybe I’m just as well off without it.
Linda Medrano recently posted..Tea Party
You’re not missing out on anything. Well, on the fun ones like this but they are far and few between.
Almost all of the other ones do say, “I love this post. Buy Reeboks for under $20!”
Like Linda, I’ve never gotten any spam either. But may I just add to yours by saying I hate you for being able to come up with witty, fun stuff 4 or 5 days a week. You suck.
Yes! I work on increasing my image as a writer who sucks, so I’m thrilled to know that I am accomplishing my mission. Thanks Jayne!
I get a lot of spam about the Bible and Bible-related stuff.
Hmm, maybe God is speaking to you, Mike. Have you ever heard the hymn that goes, “If today you hear God’s voice, harden not your heart”?
My spam is never that interesting, just disjointed thoughts and a gazillion links. Like I’m gonna click on any of them.
I know! I seriously wonder what the success rate is of spam like that. Is *anyone* clicking on it and if so, are they actually buying what the spammer is selling?
Seems like a lot of effort for a very small return.
My spam is NEVER this entertaining!
These are the creme de la creme and it really does take a long time to mine them from the crap.
my spam usually looks more like this:
“jkbbIG fhmiubsrnons,nxyveagtbnth[/url],lousgvddqwbn.com/]lousgvddqwbnwgquqojbixlh”
I actually get a lot of that as well. It’s just a matter of separating the wheat from the chaff.
HAAHAHHA! I love this. I too am amused by the spam my blog gets. They’re so innocuous and ridiculous at the same time. I’m waiting for one to just say: “this post changed my life!!!” I just stumbled on your blog and really enjoy it. :)
She’sWrite recently posted..Praying For Sleep Among The Walking Dead
Hiya She’sWrite — welcome to the VIP Lounge! It’s nice to meet you.
Initially I thought you meant you were waiting for a piece of spam to say the following *two* sentences:
This post changed my life!!! I just stumbled on your blog and really enjoy it.
But then I realized the quotes ended after the exclamation points and that you really did just stumble on my blog.
Right?
Right. (That’s right, isn’t it?)
I can definitely see the enthusiasm in those spam comments. The world hopes for more passionate spammers like them who aren’t afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your spam.
Have you hugged your spammer today?
Indeed, the blogging world is simply looking for passion and enthusiasm.
In addition, I think we need to create a bumper sticker that says, “Have you hugged your spammer today?”
Did you just call one of your commentors/spammers “Bitch”? (Of course you did, it’s up there in black & white)
She annoyed you, I get that. And you’re right about it not being easy coming up with ‘content’ so often -though I hate the implications that word has for me; that our writings are really just so much shit to pack in a box and ship out.
It brings up two things for me.
ONE
In our medium, we are performers. We ARE the show, trying desperately to attract and keep an audience. Do we not then owe them the best we can do, every ‘night on stage’?
Having said that, I know how often I throw a post together and trot it out there as if it’s my best. I think I could use a Laura telling me I’m boring or slapdash. But nobody every does. One can get comfortable and lose their edge.
TWO
I’ve had a lifelong issue with the eternal battle between honesty vs niceness. I’ve picked up a few blog ‘friends’ since I started, and I happily count you among them, and it’s encouraging to get regular support from all of them in the comments either as agreement, a compliment, or a joke (value-added content)
BUT
…there’s very little constructive criticism. So either I’m the best blogger who ever clicked ‘publish’, or people are too nice for my own good.
I keep hearing the old maxim “only a true friend will tell you the truth”. Sometimes I purposefully write an obnoxious paragraph or even an entire post just looking to pick a fun-fight/debate with somebody and liven things up -but rarely will anyone will take the field. Linda did once, after an anti lawyer rant.
But other than her, nobody. I’m thinking of creating a little icon for such occasions, a cartoon God tricked out as a viking with an ax and shield, put at the end of such posts so people will know to come and fight!
If I Were God… recently posted..A new Goddess takes the throne
Maybe people are afraid you’ll smite them?
@God Yes. I. Did. I called the spammer a bitch and I stand by my statement.
Hang on, you mean our writings are NOT really just so much shit packed in a box and shipped out? I didn’t get that memo.
On a serious note, I do think bloggers are sort of like politicians in that they are concerned about pissing off their constituents. If I’m borderline nasty — or a full-out punk — in your comment section I better expect a fight back here in my comment section. So it’s easy to offend another blogger and sometimes it’s difficult to impart a message with words alone.
There’s no body language to diffuse a potentially hot statement and a smiley face doesn’t always soften the burn :) <— See?
Having said that, I think you *can* create a debate without alienating others. I smell a new feature at your place — Debating God with that graphic you described.
Constructive criticism, or criticism of any sort, needs to be solicited, I think. Unless I ask for your opinion, I’m not interested in you telling me what I’ve done wrong.
So I have some rules here in the VIP Lounge. If you want to spar we need to remain respectful. I’m down with a respectful debate that doesn’t get into dirt with name calling. When it becomes a slam-fest I start moderating and deleting comments.
To recap,
1. I’d like to see a new feature at your blog (if I may be so bold as to ask),
2. I don’t want unsolicited negative criticism and
3. we can duke it out as long as we remain sophisticated.
@Nicky I can see that.
I don’t get a lot of spam, but those I do get are usually boring. I do sometimes get a spammer (or so it would seem) that does actually comment on what I wrote, so I leave those in. At least they bothered to read my post.
Babs (beetle) recently posted..The day I almost lost Mo!
You’re a better blogger than I. If I smell spam, even if the person paid attention to what I wrote I won’t publish it. Just a personal quirk of mine.
[...] So now I peruse my spam folder in search of a good nugget. Last time the spam was sort of like Seinfeld’s black and white cookie — for each negative comment there was a positive one — so it all evened out in the end. [...]