Should I add wearing a pair of Converse low tops on a job interview to my bucket list?
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One day I want to walk into a job interview wearing a pair of Converse low tops. I haven’t considered what sort of outfit I’d wear with them; I suppose that means this pipe dream is half-baked. I’d probably be interviewing at a marketing or advertising firm so I think I’d have to go with an Ellen DeGeneres vibe: new black jeans, a crisp button up shirt and a blazer.
With my low tops. I think I’d probably spring for a new pair because wearing a new pair makes me feel chipper and it’s good to feel chipper when going on a job interview.
Anyway, I’d walk into the reception area where the receptionist would greet me with, “Welcome to the Mandrien Consulting Group; how can I help you?”
“I’m Cardiogirl; I have an interview with Julian Banks.”
“Ah yes. Have a seat please, Mr. Banks will be right with you.”
And that’s when I would start second guessing myself. I’d start to sweat but wouldn’t dare take off the blazer since armpit stains do not scream success. Then I’d start to worry about my most dreaded interview question: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Gah! I have no idea where I’ll be in five years. Alive? At my goal weight? Breathing down 50? Working at a job I can deal with so I’m bringing in money to pay the mortgage?
Hang on. If this is just a pipe dream why do I have to be neurotic about it? I know. It’s who I am; I can’t even dream big without stressing out. With that new mindset, I’d like to walk in cold, with my low tops, and just casually answer Julian’s questions.
I’d lean back in the interview chair, stretch my legs out and cross them at the ankles. “Thanks for meeting with me Julian. Can I call you Julian? Great. Thanks for your time, Julian. Now what, exactly, does this job entail?”
I’d go totally stream of consciousness with my answers: “That is a great question, Julian. I’m not sure where I see myself in five years. I’d like to be at my goal weight and I’m hoping my kids will outgrow their allergies so I can get a cat but beyond that, I’m open for suggestions.”
“What can I offer your company? I think the real question here is what can your company offer me?”
I also like to think, in this pipe dream, that I’d be totally cool when Julian began to berate me and then called the secretary to see me out.
I’d stand up, shoot my cuffs and say, “Goodbye, Julian. We really aren’t a good match.” I’d turn away and then look back over my shoulder as I said, “When you get your shit together, give me a call.”
Now that would be an awesome way to end a job interview.
I think if you can now land a job with neck tattoos you can get a job with low tops. Good one, very clever.
Jen recently posted..Size Matters But A Hunka Love Bear Will Not Get You Laid
There are so many thoughts going through my head now that you’ve mentioned neck tattoos.
What goes into the decision-making process when one considers a neck tattoo? Doesn’t it hurt like a bitch? Is that person extremely confident since he or she is going to live with that decision forever? Isn’t it awkward attending a funeral sporting a neck tattoo?
What is your biggest weakness working in an office environment? Sometimes I want to punch that passive aggressive bitch at the coffee maker who exists in every office.
I could see low tops working. Might need to tone down your spiffy ponytail though.
Man, *that* would be nice to say. She truly is in every office. I’m still mad at the chick who wantonly stole my half and half out the fridge at work over 15 years ago. And yeah, I caught her red-handed and she boldly told me if it’s in the fridge she’s using it on her oatmeal.
Dam. Nation.
You know my feelings about your shoes. Wait till you get the job, CG. Then go with the Converse. At the interview, wear the low heeled pumps. Not the pumped up kicks.
Linda Medrano recently posted..It Was "Justified"
Nice reference Linda; I love that song!
Since it’s your pipe dream, tell Julian that in five years you see yourself in his job. Oh, and put your Converse clad feet up on his desk as you’re saying it, too.
injaynesworld recently posted..injaynesworld the "Komen Foundation Has Some ‘Splaining To Do, Lucy…"
Man, why didn’t I think of that? I’m totally putting my feet up on his desk the next time I run through this dream. Excellent addition, Jayne.
Even better, tell him you see yourself beating him out for a promotion and being his boss in 5 years. Then tell him to get you a coffee… chop chop.
Nicky recently posted..The Beast Returns
The real question is ” do you get the job ” ?
Yeah, Julian came crawling back a few weeks later. I told him no.
Of course you get the job. All you need to do is play hard-to-get. Interviewers eat that stuff up. I bet when Julian comes crawling back on his hands and knees, he’ll take a long moment to admire your snazzy low tops.
KZ recently posted..Visions of the Collective Breath
I’m inclined to agree with KZ. Wear the low tops, dazzle the interviewer and don’t agree to take the position until he doubles the original salary offer. Dream BIG, Cardiogirl :)
Alan recently posted..Plus Ca Meme Chose, Plus Ca Change
It’s so many years since I had to be interviewed for a job (self employed) that I would probably not get past the outer office!
In my day it was basically what the job had to offer. They told you all about it and then said “Do you have any questions?” to which you either asked stuff or answered that they had covered everything, but that you were really looking for a better salary. They then offered you more money. If it was enough you took the job. Everything has reverse order now.
More to the point. We wore whatever we wanted to, within reason. I suggest the next time you have this dream you make it back in the 60′s/70′s and he won’t even ask you what you can offer his company. You’ll be asking him what his company can offer you!
Babs (beetle) recently posted..What’s that awful smell?
I am hysterical laughing right now. “When you get your shit together, give me a call.” KILLED ME.
And, like Jen said – if people can go on job interviews with neck tattoos you’ll be fine wearing Converse Low Tops.
meleah rebeccah recently posted..How I Became A Millionaire
I once actually DID get a job after interviewing in a pair of Converse Low Tops (pink if anyone cares). It was a manual labor sort of job and I didn’t want to overdress. Not only did I get the job, they paid me a higher wage than it listed for. Must have been the shoes!
Nora Blithe recently posted..Extra Credit
I’m still dreaming of a job where I don’t have to wear any shoes.
Middle State recently posted..Cat in a cold metal freezer
I’ve had a similar interview like this in my head almost every time I’ve actually interviewed for a job! hee hee! I did go to a job interview in a pair of capri pants and ballet flats, and got the job! I think those are the jobs worth getting–where the administration isn’t so stuffy they give a rat’s ass that you’re not in a suit. God fobid. :)
…maybe a part-time job at Curves?
????olqu??o? recently posted..I almost cried…
I got a hard time in an interview once because I was wearing a suit and a tie and shoes with laces. The interviewers were wearing jeans and sweaters. I was told I wouldn’t fit in as I looked to rigid. I should have worn my low tops. Actually, I preferred high tops.
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