Rudolph is a hell of lot more self actualized than I am
Recently I attended my kid’s Christmas concert at school and as you might guess Rudolph and his famous schnoz made an appearance. In fact, the song lyrics are sitting on our dining room table right this minute and as I was looking at them it occurred to me that Rudolph was a pretty forgiving and secure guy.
The song starts out sort of neutral with a just-the-facts sort of delivery. There once was a kid who had a bright red nose. Huh, what do you know? I suppose Rudolph had to admit that much; what is, is.
But then of course he was subjected to the bullies at school. They taunted him because they were assholes, I guess. I’ve told my own kids that taunting is usually an expression of the other person’s insecurities. It’s a way for that kid to make him or herself feel better at the expense of another child.
My oldest kid experienced a bit of that when we switched schools.
There’s a chick in her class who was the Queen Bee. Initially she accepted Katie with no problem but eventually, as Katie became more popular, this chick started being a Mean Girl. It culminated into a big tear-fest during the last week of school. I spoke with the teacher and we both surmised it was a classic case of insecurity.
I told Katie to keep her distance and ignore those chicks, then summer vacation came to the rescue. At the start of the next school year I talked with the new teacher and she kept her eyes and ears open. And somehow, this stuff resolved itself and Katie and the Mean Girl are actually friendly to each other.
That doesn’t stop me from holding a humongous grudge against the Mean Girl and every time I see her I want to slam her up against the locker and tell her she has no business making my kid cry.
But I don’t do that because I can’t get away with it.
If I could get away with it, I might actually do it. It would be difficult, though, because they don’t have metal lockers. They just have coat hooks with a shelf above the hooks.
Back to Rudolph, though. The other reindeer are jackasses and I’m really shocked that Rudolph was cool with that after he became Santa’s all-star player.
It’s possible, I guess, that Rudolph was not cool with it and that part is not expressed in the song. It just ends vaguely with him going down in history.
I like to think he talked a little bit of smack before he forgave the other reindeer. It makes me feel some vindication by association to imagine Rudolph slamming Vixen up against a mighty oak and poking his chest with his hoof.
“Who’s the loser now, Vixen? Did it make you feel superior to make fun of me? Did it make you feel like the Big Buck on Campus? Truth be told, I really wasn’t interested in playing flag football, but it would have been nice to be asked, you know?
“So you’re gonna have to talk to the hand for awhile before we’re cool again, capice? Now excuse me while I go to the front of the line to lead this dog and pony show.”
