No socks, no judge; straight to execution
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I was talking to my friend Rachel the other day about my kids’ past babysitters when I remembered being furious at the first babysitter I ever hired. Livid, I tell you. Her name was Gabby and she was 13 years old. I was a novice mother and I had no idea how to find a babysitter.
I
actually
spent an
hour talking to
my therapist
about the fact
that the babysitter did
not put socks on my kid. Mr. C was working 12-hour days and I was a stay-at-home mom with no help from family. And I had to get out of the house. After reviewing my options I ended up tapping another mother at church. We used to sit in the back, near the cry room, with all of the other families of small children so I figured I could get a referral from one of those mothers.
That was a mistake. I did not know that mother.
We were barely acquaintances and the girl she recommended was the niece of her brother-in-law’s sister. But 13-year-old Gabby lived ten minutes away from my house. So I called her and we chatted for a couple of minutes.
My interview process went something like this.
CG: “Hi Gabby; this is Mrs. Cardiogirl. How long have you been babysitting?”
Gabby: “About two years. I have three foster sisters and I’ve been babysitting them. The youngest one is five months old.”
CG: “Will $5 an hour work out?”
Gabby: “Yes.”
CG: “Great, I’ll pick you up on Friday night.”
So that Friday I introduced Gabby to Katie and told Gabby where all of the baby stuff was. The most important thing I told her was to make sure Katie had socks on before she tucked her into bed. I was really worried about Katie’s feet getting cold. I showed her where the socks were, gave Katie a kiss and Mr. C and I walked out the door.
I then ran back into the house and gave Gabby a pair of socks for Katie to wear to bed. Just in case she couldn’t find socks. Then we went left.
When we got home home Gabby was watching TV with the volume turned up. I said hello and walked upstairs to check on Katie. The hallway light was on, her bedroom light was on and the door was wide open. I was very surprised that all of the lights were on.
Seriously. I really didn’t think I’d have to tell the babysitter to turn the lights off when she put my kid to bed.
But that wasn’t the worst part.
When I saw Katie, asleep in her crib, I saw her naked feet. No socks. No judge. No jury. Gabby went straight to execution in my mind. I was furious. I never confronted Gabby but I never called her again either.
And then I told my therapist about it. I swear I am not kidding. I was truly distraught and just had to talk it out.
Can you believe that?
I actually spent an hour talking about the babysitter’s irresponsibility. I was outraged and I remember telling Marcia (yeah, I’ve had a few therapists over the years) that it was a massive red flag. If Gabby couldn’t follow simple directions like putting socks on my baby’s feet, how could I trust her with my baby’s life? There was no trust. None at all.
I also remember arguing with Marcia when she said, quite callously, I thought, “Your kid is not going to die because the babysitter forgot to put socks on her.”
So that little nugget came rushing back to me when I was talking to Rachel the other day — she knows the story — and the two of us laughed our heads off nine years after the fact. And then I said, “I have to write about this.”
You can thank Rachel later.
Tags: Things on which I have an opinion, Things that make me laugh
Did you add the cost of the therapist to the 5$ for the babysitter. Going to a therapist for that is truly an over reaction. Not ever calling the babysitter back is justified. But you should have told her how furious you were at her lack of responsibility towards babies who are in her care. Pity her 5 month sibling whom she babysat.
i have a thing about cold feet too…uh no pun intended.
do you have gabby’s number?
I started baby sitting at 14 and even now if someone gives instruction I’ll follow it – as to the letter as I can.
I babysat a few weeks ago for my friend’s 4yo and 2yo. The 4yo kept going on about having calm music on before bed to help her go to sleep – well I knew that wasn’t true as I’d babysat about 3 weeks before and she didn’t have it then.
The cutest time was when I babysat those two and my friend’s son who was 8yo at the time – the 8yo and 4yo had gone to sleep no problem but the 2yo had got insomnia or something lol. (Either that or she was too excited and wanted to hangout with me)
She came downstairs and curled up with me on the sofa – she eventually fell asleep on the sofa – but she was sat on my lap and ended up sleeping on my legs (that was about 10ish). When her parents got back at 11 my legs had gone to sleep and I couldn’t actually move for about 15 minutes while I waited for the feeling to go back lol.
I don’t think I would have talked to my therapist about it (because I don’t have one and I would have to run out and find one), but it would have irked me too. I mean, it was a simple quirky request–she couldn’t honor it? It would have made me wonder what else was ignored too. It was sort of a test and she failed. Yeah, that would have been her last day with me too.
Hey! The keg is running out! Where do you keep the hard liquor?
That’s really funny to me for he same reason that I too would have been upset at Gabby. Oh OCD!
(also, it’s almost 5am here and I still cannot get up early enough to comment first!! Boo)
I can’t imagine why Gabby didn’t get the message that socks were really important, since you made a point of finding a pair for her. When I babysat, I was one of those uber-responsible sitters that practically took notes on what the parents wanted me to do.
Being the PITA that I am, my first thought was what if Katie kicked the socks off after the sitter had put her to bed with them on. I know it’s not likely but my first instinct is to find (and usually point out) the remote possibility that could happen 0.00001% of the time ;) Told you i was a PITA.
The keg is now out, hopefully you let Lin know where the hard stuff is kept!
As a fellow parent, I think you are completely justified! If she couldn’t remember to put socks on the baby – she is totally unqualified to babysit ever again!
It was a point of pride for me that I had my Red Cross certification in First Aid & CPR for Babysitters. Not that anyone ever asked me, not once. Mostly they wanted to know if pizza was OK for dinner, and did I mind washing the dishes before I left? (Yes, and for an extra $5.)
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find a babysitter that isn’t already part of my immediate family, because I’d end up making them sign one of those contracts that looks like a rock star’s tour rider, with all kinds of requirements and restrictions: “No brown M&M’s.” “No wire hangers ever.” “Failure to turn off lights will void warranty.” “Put socks on the baby or the parents will freak right out.”
I had the Red Cross certification too and no one ever asked about mine either…lol