Cardiogirl: 19% body fat 100% fun

I saw a movie. Finally. I painstakingly pushed the rock I live under off my back, dusted my pant legs off and joined Mr. C for a venture back into the real world. Sans children.

As you may know, I could use a break from reality, so Mr. C suggested we get a babysitter this weekend and see “Bee Movie” since we are both huge Jerry Seinfeld fans. And the planets aligned and it worked out. I even got Rachel as the babysitter for the majority of the time! Don’t get me wrong, I love Rachel’s sisters and they do an awesome job, but Rachel has a special place in my heart.

She accomplished a lot of firsts with my children and she was my only quasi-nanny. And she and I are friends. We bridged that gap from acquaintances to actual friends. And since she’s 21 and she is a college student with a real job, it’s rare that she babysits for my kids. When she does, it takes me back to the good old days. She even unloaded the clean dishes from the dishwasher!! Does your babysitter do that? I didn’t think so. Okay, enough Rachel love. This post is actually about the movie.

So I wore lipstick, jeans that had no hole in the left knee and my new low tops because we were going out on a date — and as a mother of three my personal style standards have really fallen, hence the ever-present ponytail.

We walked into our local Star Theater and it all looked as I remembered it. The set up was the same and I had a flash back to attending this theater, or another Star Theater that looked just like this one. But I couldn’t remember which movie we had seen. It’s been a long time. I really cannot recall the name of the last movie I saw or the plot. Says a lot about that gripping story, eh?

I made a quick stop in the restroom before the movie started and I was really shocked to hear a voice a couple stalls down. For me, a solitary trip to the public restroom is akin to channeling my inner monk who has taken a vow of silence. Regardless of whether I am with friends or not. Now of course it’s a different situation when my kids are with me. But I was alone, remember?

So I was surprised to hear a voice as I slid the latch shut. I immediately froze, mid latching and cocked my ear to see if I was being beckoned by a stranger. Negative.

The woman five stalls or so down was. On. Her. Cell. Phone.

Is society crumbling around me? Is nothing sacred? Am I way too uptight? Is this normal behavior now? I’m not going to get into the gory details, but let me reiterate the woman was inside the stall.

I’m just going to let that one rest out there on its own. I don’t need to poke the toe of my new low tops at it. I think you get the picture. Thoughts anyone?

So I finished my business and noted that she was still chatting away as I was walking back to meet Mr. C.

My next
revelation
was, at
the movies, a
measly pretzel,
the doughy kind
with lots o’ rock
salt on it costs more than a designer pair of socks at Target. Forget about an accompanying drink — I don’t need to run into the Cell Phone Talker again back at the stall.

So with perfect timing, we walked into the darkening theater and found our seats. Funny how even when you don’t do something for years it all comes back to you under pressure. I guess it is like riding a bike. Before I sat down on the folded movie theater seat I did a quick swipe of the seat with my hand, to check for gum before I sat down.

Again, society at large continually disappoints me. I find it sad that I must check the seat for gum before I sit down. Do we live in a civilized society or in a jungle with no standards of conduct. Sorry, I digress.

So I checked my seat, sat down and then Mr. C wanted me to slide over one seat. I was starting to open my mouth to explain why I didn’t want to have to check the seat to my right when he just stood up, jumped over me and took that seat. He never had a bad movie seat experience and does not perform the gum swipe test before sitting down. He still has the naive innocence of a trusting movie goer.

The lights dimmed and the movie began. I have to say the effects were stellar. Really fantastic. The colors and the animation were great. And it was Jerry. You gotta love The Sein. But the plot, eh, it was okay. I’d give it a seven out of ten. Now before you tell me to write a better movie I will admit that it is so much easier to criticize than to create. So I have kept that thought forefront in my mind. I have never written or produced a movie, so there you go.

Toward the end, the plot sort of started to drag. But it was at that moment, when I was starting to twist my wrist so I could get a good reflection of light from the movie screen to shine on my watch that I remembered I don’t have to do that! For a large part of my adult life (before I had children and after Timex introduced the Indiglo Watch) I have wanted an Indiglo Watch. Just so I could sit in a movie theater and press a button to see what time it was.

Keep in mind I never was a regular movie goer. But I thought it would be fun to have an Indiglo Watch just in case I found myself in a darkened theater. I also don’t buy much stuff for myself because I am frugal and my kids usually need things, whereas I feel I just want things. So a couple of years ago when my watch broke, I found a watch that would suit my needs and was on sale. A fun side note to that particular watch was that it had an Indiglo light!

Fast forward to us sitting in the dark, the movie lagging and me wondering what time it is. As I was trying to get the right reflection off the face of the watch I remembered, Score! I have an Indiglo Watch, baby. And I pressed the button. It was twenty minutes to four, in case you’re wondering. I pressed it one more time. Just because I could. And it was awesome.

Have I mentioned I am a simple gal who delights in small pleasures? It doesn’t take much
to make me happy. A good night of sleep and a new pair of Converse low tops will provide me with much joy. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

So the movie ended and I remembered one other habit I used to have back in the day when going to the movies wasn’t such a rare thing. I like to sit through the full end of the movie. I like to watch the credits and see the soundtrack.

Invariably I hear a song, during the movie, and I wonder who sang it. In “Bee Movie” we heard “Here Comes the Sun” but I could not figure out who was singing it. I thought it was one of those teen chicks like Ali & AJ or Hilary Duff. So I just had to know who it was.

And the songs are one of the last things that come up during the credits, in case you have never sat through them. And nowadays, some of these movies have a little extra from the actors at the end of the credits. “Bee Movie” didn’t have that, but they did have a short little peppy song from Jerry Seinfeld and Matthew Broderick. That was sort of fun.

Anyway, part of the fun of waiting for the credits is that you don’t have to push and shove to get out of the theater with all of the other people. By the time the credits are done, no one is left in the theater. So you have a leisurely walk back out. And if you wanted to you could skip to the door, because no one would see you. I’m just making suggesting here, you could be boring and walk if you wanted to. But that’s part of the beauty of waiting, you can do whatever you want to do, because the theater is now yours for a small moment in time.

Oh right. The songstress was none other than Miss Sheryl Crow. I would have never guessed that.

So all in all, it was a fun experience. I recommend the movie to die hard Seinfeld fans or people with children. If you’re easily spooked, don’t use the bathrooms and make sure to check your seat for gum.

This concludes my thoughts on movie theaters at large and “Bee Movie” in particular. Three stars out of four. Carry on.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 12th, 2007 at 5:59 am and is filed under Converse low tops, Humor, Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.