Monday morning stream of consciousness
31 VIPs have spoken »
Here are some fragments of thoughts for you on this fine Monday morning.
I pulled all of the weeds in front of our house this weekend. It made a pretty big difference and now I feel like I’ve finally removed the moldy couch from the front porch and traded in the pick up with the gun rack in back.
Please provide a useful phrase when linking to another site. I’m begging the bloggers of the world to unite so we can eradicate this practice.
I.
HATE.
IT.
When a blogger says something like, “I found a great post here.”
Don’t do that.
Instead you should say something like, “I found an excellent site called Things That Suck. You can buy the book or read the blog to learn things like this.
Things that suck: Paying $3500 to have your house tented for termites and then discovering ants in your kitchen two days later.
That really does suck. Thank you in advance for helping to further this cause.
I’m tired of dreaming about funerals. If I have to stand in front of another casket after I fall asleep tonight, it better be filled with punk-ass squirrels.
I cannot wait for school to start. Since my youngest kid will be in full-day Kindergarten everyone feels the need to tell me how bored I’ll be. Everyone is wrong.
A lot of people think it’s cruel and unusual punishment to send a five-year-old to full-day Kindergarten. (Gives a blank stare.) I’m not one of those people.
I don’t like it when grown men use the diminutive form of their name. Robert can become Rob or Bob. Please, for the love of Netpune, don’t call yourself Bobby. I cannot take a man in his 50s seriously if I have to call him Bobby.
I am aware of the folks in the South (and other places, too) who legally name their kids Bobby Ray Jones, Billy Jack Smith or Donny Lou Who. Okay, your parents were into it. I get it. Groovy.
But I have a workaround for you. When you turn 12 ask your friends and family to call you Bob or Bill or Don. That’s all I’m saying. If they refuse you’ll have to move to a new location when you turn 18.
Let’s see. I should try to end on a positive note, right?
The mailman delivered my new watch on Saturday. That made me happy. It’s an Indiglo watch and now when I wake up in the middle of the night I press the button to check the time.
Just because I can.
Tags: Things that are definitely not cool
Are you composting the weeds? :D
(Falls off her chair laughing) Not unless you consider throwing it into a non-biodegradable plastic bag and then into the trash can composting.
I knew there was half day kindergarten but I never thought that being cruel. I guess I thought it was more over crowding issues. I went until 2:30, an hour less than the rest of the school so they could get the little ones into their cars and on the way home before the bigger kids got out.
Those names don’t go away. Once you get called Bubba, or Sister or whatever, it’s there for life. LIFE. Even when you move. My mom still gets called Myrtle. Her name is Mary Dell. I dated a guy. He was Collier III, his dad being the Jr. ended up with Bud. And some of his patients in his own medical practice called him Dr. Bud.
Besides if your mother decides that’s your name, then it’s your name as long as she’s alive and you might as well make lemonade. I don’t like Billy either.
Alright, I hadn’t thought of the overcrowding thing (it’s like kiddie jail with too many inmates) I’ll give you that. But there really are mothers out there who are just this side of shocked when they learn she’s going all day.
Usually they ask, “Isn’t that a long day for a five-year-old?”
I say, “Nah.”
Bud is SO. MUCH. Better than Collie (Colley — you know what I mean in terms of pronunciation.) Got a kid next door named Connor who is called Connie at times. When I wrote those names I remembered Billy Ray Cyrus. I still think he should be Bill or Ray or W/B Ray (wonder if his first name is actually Billy and not William.)
A long day? Disney World is a long day too, but there aren’t any kindergartners complaining.
Connie? Now that’s just asking for the child to get beat up.
My reaction to both situation. “Lord.”
Yeah! Anything can be framed in the right light. Absolutely correct that a kid could totally last from 8 am – 3 pm at Disney World.
humor me and go back and do this one again. something’s missing.
“I found an excellent site called Things That Suck.
i don’t understand adults who get bored. WTF. get a hobby, mofo! there’s too much to do to ever be freaking bored. makes me wanna betch slap them in the mouth.
thank you, dah’ling. i’m all spoiled. i really did hover over it several times. then i reasoned that you did write something over the first one and that i should be satisfied, but i wasn’t. i’m greedy and i own it. i refreshed my screen or at least moved my cursor away from the link and then back over it. darn, i’m playing peek-a-boo with myself. see why i can never be bored. i amuse my da*n self.
and i’m in an asterisk mood, sorry. and i’m sorry to anyone who falls under the bored mofo category.
i do love the hover over.
Somethin’s missin’ alright.
(Seinfeld quote that Mr. C and I use a lot. Love that phrase and the delivery — a must-see. Susan’s mother delivers the line at 20 seconds.)
Sometimes I actually *enjoy* being bored. Unfortunately I don’t get the chance to be bored very often.
Love the thought of you hovering, closing the browser, coming back, smacking the screen, etc. Sorry about that; you’re keeping me on my toes.
Technically I’m Hannah but like Han. Then again I get called Han, Hannie, Hanniepants, HannieLou, Hannah Louise (usually just my Mum and because I’m in trouble lol) Yup I’m Han and I know it’s not my real name lol.
I try and intro it because I like to know where I’m going before I get there when it comes to websites -especially if it’s a post or something on facebook because I can only do that at home or on my phone
I know this is a double standard but I don’t mind it so much on a woman. I do recall, quite a while ago, that Tom Cruise tried to get the world to call Katie Holmes Kate. It didn’t take and I enjoyed that.
I don’t care for Mr. Cruise. He seems like a control freak.
The thing is Katie Holmes will always be Katie lol. Okay so Tom might call her that round the house (There are worse he could call her lol) but surely it’s her choice what she’s called.
I think he is a little bit – maybe it’s those beliefs lol
I swear I saw an interview with him way back when they first met and he named one of his airplanes Kate because of her. And then I thought he threw out a generic plea that people refer to her as Kate now since she’s an adult. It’s the fact that he tried to make society (or just me in my own mind) change. And society (and me, too) said no, Tom Cruise. No.
Indiglo watches rock!
Hi, Lola!
They do rock the effin’ house. It’s been far too long since I’ve had one and I’m extremely happy to be back in communion with the glowing light. Praise be, Timex.
Seriously? You wear a watch to sleep??? What are you timing yourself?? Girl, it’s okay to sleep. Really.
All day kindergarten was created to overcome the fact that parents are no longer home to greet/pick-up their little ones anymore and I get that. It is also great for those kids who really need that extra time at school to learn the things they didn’t get at home or in preschool–IF they went. I’ve seen that first hand.
That said, I think it is wasted if they are taking naps in the afternoon, even if it is a “quiet time” for an hour or so. If they are gonna be there full time–make those little buggars work, dammit.
You will NEVER be bored with them at school. Never. By the time you drop them off, stop at the grocery store, vacuum a bit, clean the dishes, and throw some laundry in, it’s gonna be time to pick them up. I never ran so much as I did when my kids were in school. I relished summer vacation for that very reason–I didn’t have to drive anyone ANYWHERE!
The only thing nice about them being in school is that you can finally go to the bathroom alone.
I do; I have a hard time sleeping without my watch on. Yeah, I got no problem with full-day K.
I guess the inverse is this: I never question the mother who tells me her kid is going half-day. Groovy tunes. Mine’s going all day. Let’s not judge each other.
Ain’t that the truth? Last year I had a taste of all-day school — Emily went all day on Mon/Wed/Fri and the day was gone — poof! — before I knew it. Truly. For all of the reasons you’ve mentioned and more.
For anyone who does not have kids: Lin is not being facetious about going to the bathroom alone.
I’m with you on the judging thing. Being a mom is hard enough, can we NOT beat each other up for the decisions you have to make??
There’s that whole breast-feeding/bottle thing, the cloth vs disposable diaper thing, school vs home-school thing, private vs public school thing, etc. Criminy, I want to be the dad next time.
That’s awesome, Lin — I want to be the Dad next time, too!
You will have so much fun when you have the whole day to yourself!
I really can’t wait. I don’t see any bored hours in my future.
Why all the funeral dreams? That’s upsetting.
A lifelong friend of mine died in December and I’m having a hard time with it. Also, I really do think it’s one of those convoluted images that represent something else — a dawn of change is coming — that sort of thing.
It is upsetting, though.
Bored when your kids go off to full-day school? When I, the youngest, finally went off I think my mother must have drawn all the shades, cranked up the stereo and danced and screamed her head off. Before doing 10 loads of laundry, that is.
One other naming convention that’s odd is when men go by a first initial, then their middle name, then their last name. Like F. Robert Smith. I suspect it’s because they have weenie first names. It would be funny, then, if someone called the guy in my example “Bobby” wouldn’t it?
i like when men use a first initial and then their middle name. adds a bit of mystery to me and then i give them a first name based on their initial. right or wrong, i like to guess.
and that F up top is for Frank. His full first name is Frankfurter, but we call him hot dog or weenie for short. no pun intended. i’m going now.
I dated a guy who did that. His first name is Courtney.
@Kathy Yes! Your mother and I would have had a good time on the phone with each other around 9:30 in the morning.
It would be funny. I’ve always wondered how the guy gets that first initial thing going. Can’t he just drop the first initial and take on the middle name as the first? (Second verse, same as the first!)
@V Awesome. I now want to meet someone who uses just an initial and then the middle name.
@Liz Please tell me Courtney’s middle name did not end in -ie or -ey. Thank you in advance.
I always assumed that they used their middle name either to avoid confusion because their first name was the same as their father’s/family member’s or because they didn’t like their first name.
No, his middle name is Dustin. And it was never shortened to Dusty. Though it would have been helpful because he lived with a guy named Dustin and it was extremely confusing, because people still used land lines back then. But Dusty is not good. Knew a Rusty, but that was his actual name.
I had known Dustin for years before I knew his first name, and that’s because I happened to see a piece of mail. He kept it so well concealed. Now he’s married to a girl named Kourtney with a K. I shit you not.
@Buf I’ll give you that — the same first name — but if they’re not going to call the kid the same first name WHY NAME HIM THAT?!
My next door neighbor’s name is Kelly and after living next to him for six years I learned that’s actually his middle name. And then his mother was visiting and I had to ask her about that. She said one day when he was around 9 he announced that he didn’t want to be called Robert, henceforth he was going by his middle name — Kelly.
It just NOW occurred to me that he’s R. Kelly. And he is so far removed from the famous R. Kelly that this is a massive treat for me! Thanks for helping realize that Buf.
@Liz I am so grateful to learn that the guy was never referred to as Dusty.
In what world is full day kindergarten cruel? I attended full day kindergarten, and full day preschool… and it helped me, not hurt me. Most people I know went to full day kindergarten…
(Jumps in the air and gives you a high five.) This parenting gig is a weird world, Rebecca. There are so many stupid issues that people have firm opinions on. Who cares?
Breastfeeding vs. bottle
Cloth diapers vs. disposable
Pacifiers vs. thumb sucking
Home schooling vs. public school
Auugghhh!
I hate grown men with shorthand names that end in “y”. They are super creepy, usually. I have to admit I went to half-day kindergarten, but my mom was a stay-at-home-accountant. And, frankly, porch couches are still awesome, no matter how trashy (I realize it was a hypothetical porch couch, but I felt I needed to be heard).
I wish I could quickly think of a serial killer whose first name ends in y but no one is coming to mind. I still think they are super creepy.
In college I did think porch couch was super cool, even though it weathered the elements. It was extremely cool in summer, at midnight, during a house party.
I can’t wait for school to start either. If I hear Hannah Montanna sing “ordinary girl” one more time ( and I will in the next 15 minutes I am sure) I think I might scream. Actually, I’m just going to write a post about it. So maybe it isn’t so bad. But, yeah, I’m ready for them to go away.
Have you heard this one from H. Miley Montana:
Are you ready, are you ready, are you ready? YES, dammit. I am ready.
Or this gem from Selena Gomez:
We’re going round and round
We’re never gonna stop
Going round and round
Round and round and round and round.
Not kidding, some mornings I wake up with “Round and round” in my head.
My SO has one of those names. His family tends to call him Frankie although he introduces himself as Frank and that’s what I call him. The man is 61 yo for pete’s sake, he’s not a Frankie anymore…lol However apparently to his extended family he will always be Frankie.
In times of stress my in-laws use the diminutive form of Mr. C’s name and then I have translate. I think, ‘Who’s Charlie? Ohhh. Mr. C.’ And it’s very rare when it happens so it always catches me off guard.
I thought it was for Mr. Cardiogirl. I swear. How do you feel about Chuck? That’s how we separated our family Charleses.
It’s actually a double meaning — isn’t that fun?
Putting more descriptive text for links is better for blind people using screen reading software as well.
I’m glad I never dream of funerals. It’s enough to be reminded of my mortality when I’m awake, I don’t need that when I’m asleep.
Zeus-y
Booyah! No joke, Zeusy — that sort of works. Not really.) It’s something that can stay firmly nestled in the Denial Box inside my head.
Hola Cardio,
Full day kindergarten is a must. My best friend is running into a situation with childcare because kindergarten is half of a day. Parents do of course get a choice, do you want your child in afternoon or morning class. What? This is why American children are falling behind. Class should be all day. My friend gave me this line about children and their attention spans. Uh, I don’t buy it. I know there are children out there who have the attention span of a gnat but I have to believe or at least I hope that is not the masses.
Of course, these are the words of a single woman who can’t babysit her 5 year old godson alone so take my words with a grain of sand.
And you are right, grown man should not have childish nicknames. It’s like calling a 50 year old woman, Katie…I can’t do it. Her name is Kate or Katherine she is not 4. Besides she lost all rights to Katie when she had her first personal summer, I’m just saying.
Yeah, that would be difficult for me — having to choose morning or afternoon. That’s like saying, “We have both kinds of music — Country and Western.”
Love that phrase: her first personal summer.
I often wonder how my name is going to sound when I’m 80, however it is my given name not a nickname. :)
You own Buffy/Buf so well that I don’t even think about that anymore. But initially I was positive it was a pseudonym.
“A lot of people think it’s cruel and unusual punishment to send a five-year-old to full-day Kindergarten. (Gives a blank stare.) I’m not one of those people.”
As the father of five, I know exactly where you’re coming from. But aren’t you going to get tired of soap operas and bon bons all day? :0)
As well you know, it will be a struggle to drop the bon bons at 3 pm. And why do bon bons get such a bum rap anyway?
This was awesome. I’m SO GUILTY of the non-useful linking phrase thing. Will now have to rethink it because I’ll feel guilty whenever I do it and think of you. LOL
Thanks Jackie — you’re the newest member of the Blog Link Warriors! After you smear some lines under your eyes go forth and clarify those links.
Does that really work to deflect the sun or is it just a symbolic gesture? Huh, looks like it works unless you have blue eyes.
Hi Cardiogirl- The magic of google let me know you mentioned my book on your site. So happy you both found and enjoyed it! Thanks so much for the link. Really curious how you discovered Things that Suck. Best, Jason
ps: looking forward to checking out your blog!
Hiya Jason! Welcome to the Cardiogirl Empire; it’s so nice to meet you! I have a post I keep adding to called “Things I Think Would Suck.” Being a squirrel, having a pet squirrel, being mauled by a squirrel, squirrels eating my sunflowers are all things that I think would (and do) suck.
For some reason I did a Google search on things that suck and there you were, like a humor beacon in the night. Awesome! Thanks for stopping by and your book is fantastic — love it!
I’m totally with you. The squirrels at my house are trying hard to get into the next edition of Things that Suck. They sit up in my fruit trees, eating all of the unripe apricots and persimmons. So. Annoying. I’d love for you to become a fan on facebook so you can add stuff to the list for the next edition. Thanks again!
I pray that those squirrels make it into the next edition. I’m going to have to keep sending you stories about those varmints.
“Everyone is wrong.” Ha! I know what you mean.
Trevor is only in half day K and I am already wishing we had been able to afford the full day option. Actually, what happened was they didn’t have a full-day option, back in March or April, when I was making the arrangements. His preschool offered an afternoon Kindergarten Enrichment option, so I took two afternoons of that (Sean will go for PDO at the same time, so I have two afternoons to myself this year). By the time the Kindergarten round up took place (in May or June) they were offering full-day. RATS!!
Enjoy your quiet and time alone! You have earned it. Best wishes to yr. youngest on her promotion to Kindergarten (drawing blank on which name is hers).
Oh I would be. Furious. That they added a full-day option after the fact.
That’s Emily, I know you got it later, no worries :)