I’ve got treats today!
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Quite a while ago I had a snazzy little widget from Snapvine that allowed my clutch dawgs to call in and leave a message here at the Empire. And then anyone who stopped by could hit play and listen to the velvety goodness.
Then I got rid of it. Why? I don’t remember. Apparently the last time I used it was in December 2007. Huh.
Anyway, Wendy mentioned that in the comments yesterday and I decided it was something I had to work on immediately. So there it is on the left-hand side under my NaNo badge. As you can see there are no messages yet. But you can still hit the play button to hear my voice.
And just so you know, I really worked on giving my voice some inflection there. My regular speaking voice is a solid monotone unless I’m really excited/happy or really angry. I wonder if that means I am exhibiting vocal bipolarism.
So here’s how it works. When you’re ready to leave a message click on that crazy, undulating button that says, “Record by phone.” When you do that you’ll get a phone number and an access code. Call the number (local charges will apply) and enter the code. Then you can leave a message.
You’ve got options once you leave that message. You can listen to it, delete and record anew, abort the mission or accept it and deal with the consequences.
Oh sweet Jesus in heaven! It would be fun to hear answers for the Book of Questions on Friday. However, the answering section of this thing is sorta janky. It records the most recent comment first so chronologically the first comment becomes the last. And it’s hard to organize the comments (if that’s even possible.)
So I guess we won’t answer the BOQ via the widget over there. But it’s still fun, dammit, and we will have fun.
Here’s what I ask of you today. Please answer the following question using no less than three terms from the Cardiogirl Slang dictionary. You must also use them in the correct context. Here’s your question:
You’re getting a cat or dog today but it does have some issues that will challenge you. What are the issues and how will you go about dealing with them.
p.s. You can’t put the animal to sleep.
Tags: Things that are fun!
I’ll leave a voice comment, since it’s for you and I’ll even say y’all since it amuses you but I’ll seriously have to think about it. Creating my voice mail message takes me 30 minutes because I sound like a teenager. I’m def gonna need a prompt. It can’t be something like, why I think the South is the happiest place to live in the US because I could go on and on about that. Though I might could do a few sentences if I tried really hard. Southerners are very longwinded…as you may’ve noticed.
I can use my own dogs. They’re retarded. First I’ll explain one thing that is totally dup. Drives me up the effin wall. Scraps wiggles like her life literally depends on it when I’m trying to clip her nails. Int horrible process, I cut to far and she bleeds and the miserable cycle starts all over again. I’m so aggravated with this nail situation I bought a Dremel file in hopes she can adjust to it. For $30 ~!~ Just to trim the shetbag’s nails. And when it comes to these dogs, I’m cheap as a monkey because they’re dogs and I’d rather buy top shelf liquor and beef tenderloin.
YES!! I cannot wait to hear your voice and to see if you have as much of an accent (just typed accident) as I imagine.
Did you seriously buy a Dremel to do her nails? Well done on the slang, sistah.
More than happy to oblige, and I can lay the accent on thick if you want or just do normal drawl or both. I’ll think about it and come up with my fave phrases and try to do it in the morning.
Yes, I seriously did. The problem is out of hand. She has talons.
And thank you, sugah. ;)
Alright, I did it. It’s a little long as always, but I hope you like it.
Way to go Liz! I absolutely LOVED your Southern-isms especially thick as molasses in January. I think I could listen to you read anything to me.
I love your voice!
Aw, thanks. That is a high compliment. Appreciate it.
And listening to it today I realized I was talking faster than I normally do…why I never won my public speaking competitions.
If there’s any narrative work you need, just let me know.
Elizabeth, you sound JUST like my old boss (not a bad thing, just disconcerting when I was not expecting to hear Jennifer’s voice on CG’s blog!)
No way! Really? Up in D.C.?
@Liz I might have to post a paragraph for my peeps to read just so I can hear more of your voice.
It’s funny that you mention you spoke faster than normal because I didn’t catch that. You actually have a bit of a lilt to your voice.
I don’t believe I’ve ever (sort of) personally known someone who has a lilt. I like that!
@Erin It is crazy when someone sounds like someone else you know. Especially when the face is in front of you and it does not match the previous match to the voice.
Ooooh, I like the paragraph idea or bring back a Mad Libs theme.
I don’t know what it means to have a lilt, but it sounds cool.
It’s hot in the South, we really do talk slowly and tell long stories.
Oh! A Mad Libs reading would be awesome! I need to get on that.
YARRRR! I just did it! With a very growly morning voice. YARRRRR!
Hey your voice is pretty good for being growly. If that’s growly before coffee I’ll bet you have a melodious voice in the middle of the day. Thanks for playing along Poolie!
Poolie, you could do radio. I love it.
What about us non-USA folks? :(
I know! Get a Skype account and I’ll leave you a voicemail. :D
No, no, Solomon! You can play too! When you click on the Record by phone button you can choose United Kingdom to get a local number for you. Please, please, PLEASE I am begging you to leave any sort of message just so I can hear your voice and your accent.
You have a reader from the UK!?! I’m impressed. You’re internationally known!!
I dated this guy once just because the accent. I couldn’t help myself. I’m a sucker for being called love.
@LJ Isn’t that great?! I think he’s the only one, but I’ll take that as international.
I also loved your message LJ. I did catch a very slight whiff of a Canuck accent. You’re Canuck lite — it just sneaks in every so often.
Really the only word I heard it on was “coast.”
@Liz I always wanted to date a guy with a British accent but there were no Brits in Dutwah that were interested.
It’s done, for better or worse. :D
Solomon, when I first listened the name of who left it said Guess Who and my adrenaline kicked in because you *know* I love a good mystery.
And in the first sentence or so of your message you appeared to have an American accent so I wasn’t sure who you were which just made this that much more fun.
As you went on the Brit surfaced and I knew it was my favorite persimmon!
Thanks for leaving a message; I love hearing your voice!
I’ll have to leave a message in my regional accent sometime. You probably won’t love that quite so much. It’s incomprehensible to anyone further than ten miles away. :D
Aww yeah! I did have a hard time understanding your very last phrase on the previous message, I think because you were speaking quickly. But I’m still interested in hearing more.
It was “Marry the miskin for the muck and you’ll be pizned with the stink of it”.
(Marry for the money and you’ll live to regret it.)
Thanks for the translation; there’s no way I would have been able to figure that out. The miskin, eh?
I can’t nest my comment. :(
Anyway, the miskin is the lavatory. I’ve no idea about the etymology of the word, sadly.
Another fun word is “tranklement”, which is a useless object. It’s the sort of thing you get at Christmas. It can also be used as an insult.
We just adopted 2 kittens in December. And girl! Those effers caught just about every dup’ kitty ailment they could from that shelter. Sweep the leg, they’re gonna bankrupt me. Vet fees are totally jacked up. I’ve spent more on the cats in 3 months than I have spent on myself in at least 2 years. And that sucks donkey.
Gingah! I did it, and I added 3 extras.
Snaps to you gingah! You did awesome and you earn extra credit. Way to go! (Now answer my question back at your place. Please.)
p.s. I’m a jackass. I just got back from leaving a reply comment to your reply to my question (what?) and then had to come back here to let you know you’re way more on top of things than I am.
Yeah, I can count. That would be 4 more than required, not 3. Int!
Ok now that’s 5.
We are totally in the same boat as Lola. Not ON a mofo boat as I always dream – with T. Pain – but in the same boat. i.e. our “free” kittens have jacked up hearts and need ultrasounds, x-rays, 4 different medications and emergency clinic visits to get those little effin hearts pumping again. You would never know it by all of the kerfuffle that they cause on a daily basis. But sweep the leg, they are so cute and sweet.
@Lola Apparently I *cannot* count because I never did count in the first place so I didn’t know how many extra it was. Thanks for clearing that up.
@Bumbles This is so incredibly awesome to see my peeps speak Cardio. I love this! It’s my utopian society for just one day. Now all I need to do is get everyone a pair of Converse low tops and I’ll be in heaven.
I don’t particularly care for athletic wear, but these are so, so cute. I’m thinking about getting them. Seriously.
Whoa, I just saw they’re $42. Never mind.
They are pricey and that’s the one factor that holds me back, repeatedly. The “standard” price is $42 but when you start getting into the fun patterns you’re looking at high 50s low 60s which is highway robbery.
But this is my vice.
Ok .. NOW I know how you say “gingah”, eh. And you say it just like I thought you would, eh. But I still don’t really get it, eh.
Alright, LJ! Well done on the ehs, I like that. But I also hope you can leave me a message so I can hear your accent. I’m sure it’s beautiful.
It is! It IS beautiful!
I loved it and the fact that you liberally threw in some ehs for me. Is eh regional? I’ve heard a lot of folks from Windsor and they use it quite a bit, eh?
Eh is not regional – I think it is a national requirement in Canada. When we visited Toronto every single person we met said eh all the time. I always thought that was a joke. Not so much. Although I don’t remember it as much when we went to Montreal – but they wanted to form their own country anyway.
It must be noted in the manual every new parent receives when they take their first baby home from the hospital.
I’ll have to write a post about the manual we received after our first kid was born.
Okay, I totally just spent 10 minutes crafting the message I plan to leave you, all about the imaginary dog I’m adopting, before I realized that that question was probably for the comments and not the voice message. Oh well. You’re all just going to have to listen to a nice long message from me about my imaginary dog who pees everywhere :)
You actually got it right, Erin. I *did* throw out the challenge to answer the question in the post via the telephone call.
And I can’t wait to hear about your incontinent imaginary dog. You’re awesome at following directions!
Guess who left the paper with the phone number on it at her desk and didn’t want to venture back into her hated office with her evil coworkers to get it?
It’s in my purse now, and I will call you when I leave today :)
Bummer! I’ll wait. I’ll wait for a year if I must.
gingah. i know you said hard g, but i was still going with jinjah, just harder. how cute is that widget, so nice to hear your voice. can you talk longer?
now i shall go back and listen to you again.
I need to hear you V. I’m trying to imagine jinjah with a hard J but I’m not sure I’ve got it.
I use the “j” version too. Can there be two versions Please? I’m thinking JinJah–like the chicky from Gilligan’s Island.
Yes, absolutely. There are now two versions and I have to say this J version is sorta growing on me.
It’s too early for me to write in CG Lingo, pally, but I did phone in yesterday. That is too hilarious, I may have to steal it for the Duck And Wheel. Is that okay?
Happy Weekend–Whiskey Head Bumps for all!
I really thought a Whiskey Head Bump was a drink and confused because I know my potables. I googled it and guess what pops up? Your comment from Feb 2009.
@Lin That’s cool. In fact, I insist that you add that widget to your site. I’ll try to refrain from voice-spamming you over there, but it will be hard.
@Liz Isn’t that awesome? One must remember that the drink shall include a pinch of catnip to be complete and authentic.
OH! How incredible is this that the phrase Whiskey Head Bump has been floating about the Empire and the internet for A YEAR?! It is *most* incredible, my friend.