It’s a good thing I’m not a watchdog
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The other day I was watching a THS Investigates episode about Dennis Rader the BTK serial killer. The show mentioned that Rader worked in the Compliance Department at Park City, Kansas. In this position “he enforced housing problems, zoning, general permit enforcement and a variety of nuisance cases.”
The show mentioned that he was extremely diligent in this position, going so far as to walk into a woman’s house (she left the front door unlocked) reminding her to show up to court the next day to deal with a citation. Then he left.
That’s one of my biggest fears — a stranger walking into my house.
That’s because the front door of the house I grew up in was not aligned properly. I always had to jiggle the door in an attempt to get either lock, the dead bolt or the lock in the handle, to engage. As a child I lacked the strength and the body weight to properly push the door closed to line up the hole in the door jamb with the lock on the door.
Nine times out of ten, when I pulled back on the door to check if the lock caught, the door opened.
So I always lock the doors when I am in my own house, whether Mr. C is home or not. Our doors line up perfectly and locking them is a breeze. In the summer when we are in the backyard I do leave the back door open and unlocked. But the front door is always locked.
I know.
The
killer could
easily walk into
my backyard
and hack me
into a million pieces. I never said it was a completely rational fear.
Also I’ve seen enough Forensic Files episodes that always say the same thing. There was no sign of a struggle at the door; the victim let the killer in.
Cut to the summer of 2001. I was sitting in the living room of our current house, minding my own business and snacking on some Pringles Sour Cream and Chive potato chips. They’re pretty tasty, you should give them a try. Just look for the lime green can.
Mr. C was in the dining room, which is in the back of the house and cannot be seen from the front door. Suddenly our front door opened and a man I’d never seen walked in. He said something but I really only remember his lips moving. I didn’t hear a thing he said because I was stunned into silence.
I literally had my hand in the air holding a chip and my mouth was open — I was mid-snacking when he walked in. My throat closed immediately and I couldn’t make a sound. I just froze in the chair, no movement, no breathing just wide eyes. A quick note to any killers out there: I’d make a great victim. You won’t hear a peep out of me.
Then the guy said, “Is this where the party is?”
I thought that was a crazy thing to hear right before I was going to die a horrible, agonizing death. I wondered if I would have a last bit of breath in me to repeat it to the police after I crawled to the phone to dial 911.
It would be dramatic, I thought. “He said (gasp for air) ‘Is this (pause) where the party is?” Fade to black.
I was still staring in silence when Mr. C walked into the living room and said, “Can I help you?” in an irritated tone.
Turns out the party was two doors down. And the guy was friendly enough as he apologized and left our house. I think he even waved goodbye before he turned and shut the door.
But Ted Bundy was friendly too, wasn’t he?
okay i’m smiling but not laughing. okay that’s a lie, i let out a laugh, just one. i probably would have crapped in my pants had some strange man walked in my house and then asked about a party! i have left the back door opened and unlocked (went to work), left the keys in the front door and the front door opened over night. even though i keep weapons by my bed, (to protect my virtue), i would probably be a good kill myself because i wouldn’t scream…would be too scared. i might just start swinging.
mr. C to the rescue…good thing he could hear. gotta watch out for the friendly type, we know where we stand with mean people.
Damn woman, weapons by your bed?! You have achieved tough chick status for that reason alone. I hadn’t thought about it that way, but you’re right — we *do* know where we stand with mean people.
i read the comments to get reaquainted with myself. it’s weird seeing “me” here because i don’t think i’m the same me now that i was back then. but i answer the questions the same so i must be or either i’m good at remembering who i was then, but am not now. huh?
and wth was up with me and using capital letters in the past? was i trying to impress you with my shift key? girlfriend, that boat has sailed and docked! i’ve adopted you and will wear my flip flops around you freely.
and the weapon is still there masquerading as a bed post. it wobbles for a reason.
Dang, and here I thought I’d be first in the lounge! Oh well. As for your entry, I’m like you. I live in a very safe neighborhood, but I still religiously lock my doors even when I’m home. Maybe it’s a female thing, who knows. But you can imagine how much it irked me when I’d find the front door unlocked in the morning (because Sean had forgotten to lock it when he got home). That would mean we went the whole evening and night with the front door just waiting to let some stranger in!
Yeah, it’s a safe neighborhood, but that’s the first thing they say in those news stories where some murder happened in a previously quiet town… **HUGS!!**
You know you’re tops with me, Chris!
I do think it’s a bit of a female thing. I would have to go ape shit on Sean when I found the door unlocked. I’m sure you did and he still forgot. AUUGGHHH!
And amen sister on the quiet town. That’s how ALL of those Forensic Files shows start: “In a sleepy little town the inhabitants suddenly found themselves in the center of a gristly murder mystery.”
In Cowtown, our doors didn’t latch properly either, which didn’t make a difference, because I wouldn’t lock them. My ex husband did, but he never made sure they would latch, so what was the point of locking it? anyway, this reminds me of a friend of mine who lived in (formerly used for) military housing, and three blocks of apartments looked the same. Her roommate once walked into someone else’s house while she was drunk and couldn’t figure out how she had managed to change all the furniture and rearrange until she realized she was in the wrong apartment…. and btw, in San Diego, my doors are always locked.
I’m surprised the tenant wasn’t home when that roommate walked into the wrong house. My in-laws live like that, in a semi-small town and they never lock the doors until late at night when they’re going to sleep. But for some reason I never think about that when we’re there visiting for the weekend. I guess I figure I’ll only be murdered here at home.
Ooh, freaky-s-scary. I’ll bet if HAD been a bad guy, though, you would have found your voice and legs and taken him aback a little.
I have party-heads hammering the door down around here looking for the previous squatter on a frequent basis. Still. They never knock before trying the knob. And when hammering and yelling, “OPEN THE F-ING DOOR!” over and over doesn’t work, they try banging on and peering through the one accessible window.
Could you have your very capable husband make a booming-voiced recording for me to play back to these dudes? Something along the line of, “GARY DOESN’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE, NOW PISS OFF!!!” would really help.
Hmm. I’ll get Mr. C right on it. You sure you just want him to say “Piss off?”
OMG. Yesterday Evan went out to play.
So I’m in the kitchen in my underwear and a wife beater. I had made some muffins & I was washing dishes. I hate the fan on over the stove, so it was noisy. (That effing fan is probably older than me…)
I had just placed the muffins on the stove top when I saw movement in my peripheral vision. I screamed.
It was Evan sneaking in to get some water and hoping that I wouldn’t see or hear him before he could get back out.
Ticked me off! I’m not normally a screamer, LOL.
But anyway, once some dude started opening my sliding glass door while I’m sitting right here yelling “STOP!” and he’s all “Isn’t this my daughter’s house?”
Why the hell would you walk into a house sans knock without being absolutely sure where you were going?
I love how the guy doesn’t question that you are not his daughter, but still thinks it’s her house.
My kids are into trying to scare each other and me and I HATE IT! I am very skittish and it drives me nuts. Grr. But as I told you, usually all I do is gasp silently as my insides go into freak out mode.
HOLY geez. How frightening! We had our very own window peeper the other night, and that about did me in. If he’d had the nerve to walk in here, I think I’d need to be sedated for days! Scary!
I could not handle a night time peeper. I have to be able to see, in daylight, who’s going to kill me.
Holy crap. Thank god you aren’t packing. That would have been tough to explain to the cops:
“So, ma’am, did the perpetrator make any violent gestures towards you? Did he have a weapon?”
“Um, no…he…he…asked me “Is this where the party is?” He was so terrifying…and he was smiling! I almost dropped my Pringles can…”
“Okay, and then what?”
“Then my husband dove into the room, flew over the coffee table, both guns ablazing.”
“Did he hit the perpetrator?”
“Hell no, my husband can barely drive a nail in straight, let alone fire two guns simultaneously whilst diving through the air (author’s note: gratuitous reference to “Hot Fuzz”). The guy just wet himself and ran off. I think my husband dislocated his shoulder though.”
Never saw “Hot Fuzz” but it sounds fun, is it like “Pulp Fiction”?
That’s right, buddy. No one messes with the Cardiogirl Family and lives to talk about it.
Well, we write a mean letter, that’s for sure. We have pens and we’re not afraid to use them.
That’s how ALL of those Forensic Files shows start: “In a sleepy little town the inhabitants suddenly found themselves in the center of a gristly murder mystery.”
Oh my god they so do hahahaha. Steve and I are fans of truTV for the video shows, Most Shocking, Most Daring, etc. (I know, I know, it’s total trash and it’s about the only TV we watch besides the Discover Channel). Anyway, Forensic Files, Steve doesn’t like, but we always see the beginning cause they air right after those shows.
I always lock my door too. Even Steve is paranoid about it. He makes sure the front door is locked if he’s home alone and about to get in the shower. Always worried someone will walk in and he won’t hear them until they’re already in the bathroom. So it isn’t just a girl thing.
On the other hand, he could seriously immobilize someone with his bare hands, so I don’t know what the hell he’s worried about LOL.
LOVE the Discover family of channels (Discover, Discovery Health, The Learning Channel, etc.) but of course my fave is TruTV (hate the tag line, though).
And I have to say I feel a bit more justified about my fear, knowing your husband feels the same even though he could pound them into the ground.
I still think of you every single time I hear the new tag line to TruTV — “Not Reality — ACTUALITY.” Which… hello, WTF does that even MEAN!? Gahh.
You fail as a watch dog, my friend. But that’s okay; I think I would have done the exact same thing. I was vigilant about keeping my door locked when we lived in VA. Several of the apartments had been burgled at one time or another, and I felt it was safest to stay behind locked doors. In WA, I kept the doors locked at night, but not so much during the day. I felt safe in our neighborhood, even when Kurt was on a seven-month deployment to the Persian Gulf. I got used to hearing all kinds of crazy noises and knowing they had nothing to do with me. My next-door neighbor had people over at all times of the day and night, so it wasn’t rare to hear someone pulling up in her driveway at 3am. Supposedly she sold marijuana….
Here in Navy housing, our door is always locked because that’s the type of door it is. You can push a button to keep the door unlocked, but we keep it locked because we’d never remember to re-lock it. We do keep the door open most of the day; in fact, it’s open right now. Our backdoor is almost always unlocked. It’s protection against getting locked out of our house, you see!! I know my one neighbor never locks her doors — EVER. It makes it easy when we take care of her dogs when she goes out of town. The military police patrol this area regularly, though. I see them at least three times a day.
YES (pumps fist in the air)!
Blue, I am freaked out for you just hearing about this. I know, some have said I’m neurotic, and this is how I keep the label current by worrying about others. It is a bit reassuring to know the MPs pass by three times a day. And the neighbor who leaves the doors unlocked when she’s GONE? Don’t get me started (stifles a scream).
Yeah… if he throws in an “or else” they’ll probably kick their way through the window, just for the challenge…
He can be menacing you know. He has been known to snarl as he says “Piss off!”
Reminds me of the time back when I was in high school and my dad had taken my sister, my older brothers and I to a musical rehearsal. When we returned home, we entered the house through the back door and came upon my little brother lying across the floor and a woman screaming at my mother (who was sitting in a chair by the front door).
I immediately thought there had been a break-in and that my brother was dead. It turned out, while fleeing a domestic dispute, the woman had noticed the sign on our door which read “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” She ran up the steps and walked right into the house. My mom later explained that Tim had fallen asleep while listening to the woman rant. Of course her explanation only came the following morning. That night, I couldn’t get to sleep because once my dad arrived on the scene, he decided that they needed a good-ole’ family counseling session and so the husband and in-laws came over and the whole lot of them had a loud, lengthy session in our living room with my parents mediating, just steps away from my bedroom door.
If I saw that and thought my brother was dead, Wendy, I would have recurring nightmares for the rest of my life. I’m surprised your parents were so open to helping this woman and her family out. I’m positive my parents wouldn’t have answered the door.
O.M.G.!!one!eleven!!one!
That would freak me the f out. The thought of someone being inside my property without my express say so really concerns me. Even my parents ask permission before stepping over the threshold to my room.
Hey is one eleven one a quick number for the police? Like 911 here? It was stunning for a couple of minutes. I do scare easily so the fear hung on for a while after.
I would have had a heart attack if that happened to me!! I also always lock the doors. Carl is really bad about remembering too and it drives me nuts!!
We have a storm door and then also a heavy wood front door, and I ALWAYS have the storm door locked too so that when someone rings my doorbell, I can just open the heavy wood door and speak with them through the locked glass door.
That’s a good idea about locking the storm door, but do you ever leave that locked when your husband gets home and then he can’t get in to use the key? And since we’re on the subject, do you always lock your car, too? I do. I have that scene from “A Few Good Men” in my head where Tom Cruise got in the car and that guy was sitting in the back seat.
No one is sitting in my back seat unless I say they can sit in my back seat.
We almost always go through the garage to get into the house, so the front door is barely ever used except for company. I do always lock my car doors, it’s like second nature to me. The second I get in I hit that lock button.
Thank goodness for power locsk in the car, it makes my paranoia much easier to deal with:)
I am completely with you on this one. I have security screens on all doors and there is a lot of them!.. we have a back door off the ground floor bedroom, a back door off the laundry and one off one of the ground floor bathrooms, we also have the front door and double sliding glass doors off the dining and lounge rooms. I have all locked during the day (and night of course), sometimes I will have the front door locked with the screen doors locked. I think sometimes I am too over cautious with locking up but I do not have an adult male living with me so I guess I feel more secure knowing we are safe inside.
The other day I was sitting at the computer when I heard our front gate open, I was expecting my son to be coming up but had arranged to pick him up from the mainland, when I head the gate open I wondered to myself how he got to the Island and then I saw this young guy walk around the front of the house to the side. I opened one of the sliding doors and said “er, are you right there?” as if to say wtf are you doing in my yard! He looked over at me and smiled and said “I’m really sorry but my mate threw my shoe and it landed in your garden and I just came in to get it”. He was very happy (Im assuming he was walking back from the pub) and got on his knee’s to crawl amongst the plants and palms in the garden.
I’m not sure why I didn’t have a go at him for not even knocking and asking, instead I suggested he might want to use the rake to get his shoe out because some of those ferns had big spikes on them, he insisted he would be ok and crawled around under them. He must of said “ouch” at least 20 times. He got his shoe, got up, waved and smiled and said “see ya later darlin” and off he went.
As I watched him leave my property I was still kinda dumbfounded that he just walked in like that. Our fence is pretty high as is out gate but you think he would of knocked? Maybe he thought no one was home because I had the car in the garage and the doors shut and curtains pulled (bad day)…but still. Then again he might of been to drunk to realise what he was doing.
He was friendly, but as you said, so was Ted Bundy!
I am surprised that he would feel free to scramble through your garden without trying to at least knock on the door. Although, if he were at my house and he rang the bell I wouldn’t have let him in. Back to the person I never invited — no recognition, no entrance. So I guess he would have to scramble through my yard to get his shoe after all. But I would be looking out the window watching and wondering what he was doing.
I wouldn’t have been as brave as you to question him. And offer assistance.