If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy — now pass the booze
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Alright kids. I was trying to be stoic so as not to ruin the holidays for you, but right now I’m going to virtually knock back a few cocktails, yell and scream, pull down the decorated Christmas tree in a melodramatic huff and drag it out to the curb.
I’ve been fighting an intense toothache for the last ten days or so. It all started on a Friday afternoon, because this shit always happens on the weekend. My back molar was aching so I turned to the Plaque Fairy and recited this incantation as I flossed in fear.
Dear Plaque Fairy,
Please let flossing and rinsing with fluoride fix this problem.
I’m pretty sure I’ve exhausted my dental benefits for the 2009 calendar year.
Plus, my kids will be on Christmas break soon and that will really make visiting the dentist extra difficult.
Amen.
That incantation did not work. On Tuesday the 8th my regular dentist informed me that he was pretty certain the tooth was fractured and that I needed to see his friend the endodontist.
Later that day, the endodontist told me I was going to meet his friend the oral surgeon. But not before he sent me away with a prescription of Vicodin and Clindamycin.
On Thursday the 10th I said goodbye and good riddance to the back molar on the upper right. It was a crown anyway and it was the last one up there. But it was extremely freaky sitting in the chair feeling that guy just pull and twist with a pair of cartoon pliers.
It was basically status quo in terms of pain (lots, which I expected) and I documented what I was feeling on Facebook.
Dec 9 3:26 pm
It actually hurts like a bitch when you fracture the root of a tooth. As in 500 mg of Vicodin every four hours is just makin’ it bearable. I really thought I had a pretty high pain threshold but this is making me want to start a riot in my house complete with hostages.
That molar in question is scheduled to be extracted tomorrow at 3. Just 23.5 more hours, she said willing the second hand to move faster.
Dec 11 4:06 am
The queen is dead folks. It’s out and I can’t decide which is worse — pain from a tooth that has fractures or pain from a missing tooth. Jury’s out but I still have the Mighty V helping me.
However, I do have to take more Vicodin to control things, so I guess that’s the answer right there.
Pain from a pulled tooth is greater than pain from a throbbing tooth. This concludes our science experiment for today.
Dec 14 5:22 am
I’m actually missing that back molar. I didn’t appreciate him when he was there and now he’s left a gaping hole, literally.
Dec 15 about an hour ago
If I could create a voodoo doll that transmitted dental pain to the recipient I would be a millionaire many times over.
Since this tooth was pulled on Thursday I have felt constant pain which varies from a level two (a dull roar) to a six (screaming, loud and will not be ignored.) I am seriously ready to put one of my kids in a head lock in the kitchen as I back away from Mr. C and hold a water bottle next to my hostage’s neck.
“Throw a full bottle of 1,000 mg of Vicodin on the floor toward my feet and no one will get hurt.”
Yesterday the oral surgeon admitted, somewhat grudgingly, that this may be a small case of dry socket. Dry socket, kids, is when the blood clot in the root is washed away and the root/jaw bone is exposed to the elements. It causes a hell of a lot of pain. The remedy is to visit the oral surgeon daily so he can put a medicated dressing up inside the hole to protect it and to help eliminate the pain.
The key word here is daily. He said maybe for a week. Dude, my kid goes to pre-school Mon/Wed/Friday. I have to send her for half a day today as it is to get yesterday’s dressing out so I can have a new one put in today.
AND I STILL FEEL A SHIT LOAD OF PAIN THAT VICODIN WILL NOT TOUCH~!~
According to this guy the medicated packing was supposed to provide immediate relief. When he went poking around the stitch yesterday it hurt enough that he numbed me up to put the packing in. Yeah, of course the pain went away because I was numb. As soon as the Novocaine wore off, the original pain came back in a big bad way.
My huge, huge fear is that the tooth next to the missing tooth is going bad. I don’t think that’s the case because I don’t feel pain there when I clench my teeth but it seems the stuff this guy is doing is not helping.
Tooth pain is a real bitch in heat, if you haven’t guessed. It will really jack up your outlook on life. Especially when drugs won’t take the pain away.
When I was a kid if I had a toothache my mom suggested I hold a mouthful of whiskey on that side to numb it.
Let’s stop for a minute and examine that piece of parental advice. At 9 or 10 years old I was nippin’ some Jack to stop a toothache. WTF folks? Was there no aspirin back in the late 70s? And would you ever tell your kid to take a shot of whiskey while you made an appointment with the dentist?
However, this is the same woman who poured rubbing alcohol on my skinned knees.
Regardless, I think I might be picking up a bottle of JD on the way home from the dentist today. GAH! I just have no words to explain what this constant pain feels like. It’s all-encompassing and it’s making concentrating on ANYTHING else impossible.
Crawls on the floor, clutching her collar as she screams in the air, “Why God? WHY?!”
p.s. Don’t even think about touching that Christmas tree at the curb until I tell you to think about touching it.
Tags: Things that are jacked up
You have my deepest, deepest sympathy. :(
Thank you. I (still) need that.
Well, that and more Vicodin.
Wow. That all sounds so incredibly awful. It really sounds like it must be something else if the thing that is supposed to make it feel better is not working. Good luck today– I hope they figure out what the problem is.
No shit, Michelle. Although the guy said yesterday (yeah, if the dentist can’t fix it immediately he becomes “the guy” instead of “the dentist”) that people tend to feel relief in *increments.* AUGGHHH!
Truth be told I would say today is, perhaps, 10% better. Maybe that’s a placebo effect. It still hurts.
i held my breath almost the entire time while reading this. oh gosh, i feel for you cg. it kinda makes me dizzy, so i really couldn’t read every word. maybe after a few glasses of wine later tonight, i’ll come back.
I should buy some wine coolers for tonight. Dinner, tonight, is liquid baby.
WoW Cardio,
This is bad, I mean like nuclear weapons bad! The Little Brother had a similar situation a couple of months back. He was in quite a bit of pain. Now I don’t know how true this is but the dentist told him that the gums need a few days or up to a week before they register that the tooth is no longer there. As a result the brain sends pain sensations as if the tooth were still in, causing you all types of crazy pain.
Not sure how true this is…seems kinda of left fieldish to me but I’m no medical professional.
Feel better, and try not to go ape shit on the kiddies!
Um, yes. I would agree that this is nuclear weapons bad. That is not an exaggeration. Damn, I wouldn’t mind a nuclear weapon exploding in my head right now to end the effing pain. GAH!
And yes on the second item. I have been just a two-step away from ape shit for quite a few days now.
Oh, CG – so sorry you are in constant monumental pain! I know that having all the kids home without extra intervening circumstances is daunting, so I will pray this gets sorted out before all the kids are home non-stop with you (and eagerly awaiting the most exciting day of their year – which seems to jack up behavior in my household, anyway).
I can’t even imagine. I’m a total wimp about pain (that’s why I opted for laughing gas when I had my fillings in Nov). I am shuddering just thinking about all the poking and prodding and NON-STOP-PAIN! Yikes! I’d even be willing to try the whiskey, in that case.
Ain’t that the truth? I hate to admit it but it is extra difficult having the kids in the house while I am holding Ape Shit an arm’s length away. And I do need to finish up the stocking stuffers but I haven’t felt like fighting the masses.
I wonder why not.
Oh my god oh my god oh my god.
I feel you, sister. I truly do. My mouth is throbbing in sympathetic pain.
I had a fracture in my back molar that I eventually had yanked out. Luckily no problems after the yanking. But before the yanking was 5 years of off-and-on pain (no one could figure out where/what the problem was), about 8 months of mostly “on” pain, and about a month of mind-numbing pain that practically caused me to pull off my own head.
There truly is NO PAIN like tooth pain. I can attest to that. I’m so sorry you’re going thru this. I’ve heard dry socket is a BEEYOTCH in terms of pain. I hope you can find some relief and SOON.
I CAN. NOT. IMAGINE. Going for five years of off-and-on pain and then EIGHT MONTHS of pain due to a fracture, JD. DAMNATION!
Dam. Nation!
I really do think tooth pain is right up there. I’ve never had kidney stones, but I’ve heard those are right up there too. This really is worse than labor because it does not abate like contractions do. And generally speaking, labor ends in 24-48 hours.
When I had all my wisdom teeth removed, I got dry sockets. I was on so many drugs, I didn’t work for two weeks. Plus, just word up on that gaping hole…stuff accumulates back there. Rice is particularly dicey. In about a week, you’ll have enough to create a nice sandwich spread. I’m just saying.
Since then I’ve had the most horrendous things done to my teeth. Root canals, partial replacement, veneers, etc. So you have earnest sympathy and understanding from me. The pain is enough to make you lose your mind. On the bright side, you might get some great writing in!
Sandy I cannot imagine dry sockets — plural. PLURAL!
Um, no rice for me.
Unfortunately, I’ve also had a lot of root canals and crowns. You know I honestly thought once a root canal and crown were in place the tooth was dead and done for. No feeling because there are no roots and no action because the tooth has become a crown.
Apparently that’s not the case as this tooth was one that had a root canal and a crown. I also learned that this particular tooth had four roots instead of the customary three.
That sucker wanted to go out in a big bad way, no?
Hope you feel better.
Tooth pain is some of the worst pain to deal with. I think I’d rather have a broken arm.
Amen to that, brutha.
Holy momma! I was squiriming just reading that! My gramps used to do the whiskey thing and it worked. He was terrified of dentists. I wish you well and hope that you get some relief soon!
Wow, Poolie. I’m amazed that your gramps stuck with the whiskey the whole time.
Incidentally, yesterday after the dentist I took a luxurious two hour nap after some Vicodin, Ibuprofen and Ativan. In my dream I was in jail which meant my food was rationed. (Isn’t that crazy?)
Anyway, you — yes YOU Poolie — gifted me an icy cold can of Diet Coke while I was in jail. I think I was only allowed to eat 1,000 calories a day and nothing in between meals. So having a can of Diet Coke was a major treat.
Thanks for takin’ care of me in my dreams.
You can even rub the gum area with an alcohol soaked q tip. Oil of cloves is supposed to work well, too. Good luck!
Eeww. I wonder what rubbing alcohol tastes like. I do have a bottle in the house. Even though I hate the sting (have since my mom poured it on my skinned knees) it’s my go-to antiseptic.
The medication they pack into my lowly socket is filled with cloves, that’s interesting. The cloves taste gross by the way.
Do not stick rubbing alcohol in your mouth. Grain alcohol on the other hand…
Ouch! I remember having my wisdom teeth out and how much pain that was… and also, when the fiance had to wait to get his SIX wisdom teeth out… and how much oxycotin he downed to deal with the pain afterward.
Hope it gets better really soon!
Damn Rebecca! SIX wisdom teeth? That deserves Oxycontin.
Oh, CG, you have my utmost sympathy. I had 5 (baby, but still, it HURT) teeth pulled when I was 10 and the only thing worse than that was having all 4 wisdom teeth out at 14. And I never had dry socket. Which I am grateful for, as I’ve been told it’s worse than natural childbirth (which I’ve also never had, but I can imagine what THAT must feel like).
I raise my shot glass to you and hope for a speedy recovery!
Wow, you were young to have wisdom teeth out. Mine were out at 16 (four at the same time) and I swear I didn’t have as much pain then as I have now.
I can honestly say natural childbirth (didn’t even take aspirin all three times) was not like this, because the pain came and went and it ENDED in 24-hours.
My dear, CG. I don’t know what to say except you got the short end of the molar pulling out stick. WTF is right. All I can say is I know how painful tooth pain is and I feel deeply for you. Now I say get yourself drunk 24/7 as long as it doesn’t kill you and the rest of us will pray that this daily packing thing will help ease the pain. Seriously, I’m praying for you.
Yes, I’d agree with that. I want to grind that stick into the ground until it’s dust that floats away on a puff of air.
Thanks for the kind vibes, Kathy. Now can you make healing time pass at the speed of light?
Oh, geesh, pally, that sounds just awful! I hope you are feeling better soon. I’m hurting just thinking of it…..
I’d crank the tunes I sent you and booze it up, baby.
Yes! I will listen to those tunes and swim in booze. That sounds like a good idea.
Been there, done that with the dry socket when I had my wisdom teeth out. Hurts worse than having the tooth removed. At least you got Vicodin. All I got was Tylenol with codeine, which didn’t phase the pain. Took 3 Motrin at a time instead. When I had it, it was the first week of law school and I was having kidney stones to boot. Good times.
Man Staci. Owww. CH!
Damn — dry socket AND kidney stones?! Nothin’ good comes from dry stuff — dry heaves, dry humping, dry socket, sun-dried tomatoes. They’re all bad.
I have no more words for you. Well just one more — OWWWW!
Wow…hopefully it is getting better. Good luck.
Thanks Buf. As of Wednesday morning it still hurts, but I think is a teeny bit better. I still wish it would go away.
Whoa, dry socket… like some others here, I had that when my wisdom teeth were out. Nothing fixes that fast enough. I was off work for a few weeks and had to sleep sitting up for a month because the throbbing was so bad if I laid down.
I really hope it gets better for you soon.
Yeah, it does suck it. I swear I don’t remember the dentist mentioning the words dry socket before I pulled that sucker. Although, I’m sure I’d still have him pull it out.
Both are bad choices. But I have a blog to bitch and moan about it, so that’s a good thing right there, no? Plus I do not have to sleep sitting upright. I’m extremely thankful for that.
Really really feel for you. Hope you feel better soon.
Thanks sanjay. Again, I am so thankful for medical coverage and prescription coverage. Although I think I could have been just as thankful without this experience.
From personal experience I can attest that swishing some Jack on the side where the pain is does help control the pain a bit, but not for long. I once had to rely on that back when I first started dating my partner. It was a Saturday night, the pain came on suddenly and I had no V. It was a long time until Monday.
I hope you’re feeling better real soon. Tooth pain is a real bitch.
Ugh. Isn’t that a weird stinging feeling when it starts to numb it? I did forget, though, that the relief is very temporary.
I had to laugh when you said Monday was a long time coming, because just yesterday I was thinking that this pain is seriously making me live in the moment. My only thoughts are about the throbbing in my mouth.
I’m not thinking about yesterday or tomorrow. Just. Right. Now!
I won’t tell you about my experiences of an extraction and lack of anathasetic :(
It’s unfortunate you can’t just skip the V and get schmammered until it all goes away. That’s what I did when I burnt my hand trying to make beef tenderloin.
Want to hear my story? So I had two teeth up in my sinuses, so oral surgeon goes in there and puts little brackets on them to attach to my braces to pull them out of my gums. Unpleasant, but not all together miserable. I just remember being really hungry because I was on soft foods and in the middle of a growth spurt.
Friday a few days later (I remember because we had a football game) I get this god awful pain and it finally crescendos (band humor) as I’m having my hair braided for our performance. The button has pulled itself out of my gum and I just had to cut if off with a pair of scissors from my band directors office and go on as scheduled. I thought I was going to pass out.
So guess who gets to have surgery again 5 days after her last one? So during the second one, oral surgeon sends me over across the street to my orthodontist because he has more experience gluing things. So I go over there, get the second torture device placed on the tooth in my gum and go back across the street and get sewn up again. Awful. Oh, and when the blasted tooth did break through it was at the very top of my gum and I looked like I had a fang for a month. Very embarrassing for a 16 year old.
My wisdom teeth four years later were a piece of cake comparatively.