I can drive a stick shift and play chess, now I need to work on my poker face20 VIPs have spoken »
For some reason there are a few life skills I’ve always thought I should have in order to make me an all-purpose chick. I have no idea why this is, but it seems like these skills will make me well-rounded and less of a girlie-girl.
Side note: I hate the label girlie-girl as much as I hate the label mommy blogger. I should talk to my therapist about that.
Anyway, these are three things I’ve always thought I should learn:
1. driving a stick shift,
2. playing chess, and
3. playing, and winning, poker — most specifically Texas Hold ‘Em.
Driving a stick — check
I learned to drive a stick soon after Mr. C and I were married. When we bought our first car together we decided to go with a stick so I could learn, once and for all, how to drive a manual transmission. Poor Mr. C spent a lot of time with me trying to avoid whiplash while I repeatedly stalled out in an empty college parking lot — find ‘em and grind ‘em, gingah.
I was so jacked when everything clicked and I learned how to find that smooth transition between the clutch and the gas. I also felt like a bad ass driving with one hand on the wheel and one hand on the stick.
Playing chess — checkmate
I think it was about two years ago when I asked Mr. C if he knew how to play chess. I don’t know why I was surprised when he said yes but I knew then that I found my tutor. Man, I don’t know much compared to Mr. C, do I? Anyway, he spent a fair amount of time teaching me how the knight moves, why the bishop is a sneaky little bastard and why the queen really is a diva.
I really enjoy trying to think ahead to anticipate the next three moves based on how I make my choice.
Playing poker — in progress
Finally! Something Mr. C does not know how to do. Now the reason why I’d like to learn how to play is so I can dominate the Texas Hold ‘Em games that are hosted by my kids’ school. Note the irony: My kids attend a Catholic school and the school holds regular poker games to raise money via friendly gambling. I’m positive God is behind that mission.
Anyway, if I could learn how to play really well I might be able to make some cash on the side. And I would return that cash right back to the school in the form of tuition. God knows, I really would do that.
So I’m going to have to learn the ropes, teach Mr. C and then hire a babysitter so Mr. C and I can dominate at the school games in order to provide a Catholic education for our kids.
I’d say the ends totally justify the means.