How to write a blog post
15 VIPs have spoken »
Many times people want to know just how I go about creating a blog post. Like any true artiste I am reluctant to reveal the magic behind the potion.
Part of the joy of a unicorn is the mystery surrounding it. Is the horn constructed of smooth ivory or paper mache? Is it true that unicorn feces are shaped like four-leaf clovers and taste like Junior Mints?
Sometimes it’s best to leave well enough alone.
And sometimes you just have to know. The truth is, unicorns are high-maintenance and prone to biting and spitting. The horn is made of sea coral found off the west coast of Majorca. They have terrible halitosis and yet their feces really does taste like Junior Mints.
Now to the Super Secret Cardiogirl Blogging Formula. Behold the magic.
Naturally this method should only be used by the seasoned writer. Drinking coffee is optional and may be replaced with smoking cigarettes and drinking Red Bull.
If you follow this method and you’re lucky enough, one day you may happen upon a four leaf clover-shaped piece of minty unicorn feces. Gobble it up and you’ll never experience writer’s block.
Tags: Things that require my sarcasm
Hm…I think I’ll pass on the unicorn poo, even if it’s minty. Usually when I have writer’s block, I just post a video or photo of something I found funny, and let that be it. Of course (when I’m posting), I usually only post once a week…I’m still impressed that you can blog every day.
It really is an acquired taste, absepa. Sorta like calamari. This summer is dragging the creativity out of every brain cell I have.
Hee. Love a good Cardiogirl diagram.
Thanks Cate! It’s been a long time since I’ve doodled. And I actually believe this is the very first Cardiogirl diagram. I’m making history here, baby.
hahahaa. i just think you’re some kind of wizard. i don’t know how you do it, even though you explained it, with a visual, i still don’t comprehend.
This method is a bit maverick, V. It also includes some magic dust that I’ve held back on. I can’t give away *all* of my secrets.
“…minty unicorn feces.” That’s just so wrong. Of course, you just know someone somewhere is making money off of chocolates in the shape of unicorn poops. They probably also have a glitter-like substance on them, with sprinkles for good measure. Hey, that’s not a half bad idea.
I’m going to have my people call your people tomorrow to get going on the Unicorn campaign.
omg you are something! lol
i will have to tell my kids about the unicorn poo. they love watching this thing on youtube called charlie the unicorn. and then they go around quoting it and driving me crazy. thanks for the chuckle. i’ll let you get back to mel now.
Hiya Patty! Welcome to the Cardiogirl Empire; it’s nice to see you over here. I’ve never heard of Charlie the Unicorn but I was able to watch the episode where he goes to Candy Mountain.
Sweet!
I like the doodle out of your ass. I should try that sometime myself. I don’t think I’m going to go the Mel Gibson route, though. I haven’t written anything about him yet, so I don’t think I’ll start now.
It takes some practice to actually doodle out your ass, Unfinished Rambler. You might want to start by doodling out your ear first.
I know you’re not into Mel, so I’ll give you a quick update. Mel got into a car accident yesterday — smashed his Maserati into a rocky hillside — but he’s doin’ just fine.
I guess you can’t kill crazy.
I’m actually thinking of starting my own crafting blog…perhaps this will help :P Bring back more diagrams!!
Yes, yes, Heidi! You must start a crafting blog. I’ll make more diagrams if you’ll start a blog.
In case you didn't know how to write a blog post, here's the "Super Secret Cardiogirl Blogging Formula": http://b2l.me/ahx6du
No wonder I had such a hard time with my attempts at blogging…I didn’t have the unicorn poop or mel obsession. ;)
Truly, that’s all it takes Buf. Now go forth and blog.
Funny you should mention poo and blogging in the same breath…or post, whatever. I get some of my best ideas sitting on the pooper. So, you see, I guess I doodle out of my ass, too!
Way to go nonamedufus! I knew there were others out there who employed a similar method. Birds of a feather, eh?
For the past two months, Trevor has been begging to start his own blog (with my help, of course). It is so funny that he wants to be like me. I think mainly he wants to get his art out there. A five year old, already pursuing self-promotion!
You know you are PURE GENIUS, don’t you? Think of how many people will be out there googling “how to write a blog post” and stumble upon your excellent humor, sarcasm and sense of story.
Aww yeah, Wendy! You owe it to him to set up a blog of his artwork. Do it, do it, do it!
I hope you’re right about my untapped genius :)
And one more time: just because: Cardiogirl: 19% body fat 100% fun » Blog Archive » How to write a blog post http://bit.ly/aGBmwH
I haven’t sufficiently milked Mel Gibson for all that he is worth, and God knows that isn’t much these days. Love the diagram.
Thanks Jen. I do think the Mel thing still has some legs. I know there’s some more crazy just waiting to be let out.
Love the diagram and am impressed that you can accomplish all that in 45 minutes. Drinking coffee alone can take me that long.
And Mel Gibson? Drugs and alcohol, pure and simple. There is no end to that amount of crazy that will come from that. He has Alec Baldwin and Tom Cruise beat hands down!
[...] Yeah, that’s right. I am like a fly on shit when it comes to Mel Gibson. [...]