Here’s a classic example of learning from someone else’s mistake

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I have to say, hopping back into the blogging world is not like riding a bike. I can’t think of another analogy right now so I’m going with that one. I can’t get my balance, my knees are skinned and bloodied (ugh, more blood to wash out of my pants) and I just barely avoided a closed-head injury trying to get this post up and running but I’m putting my feet on the pedals, gingah.

Okay, I love Investigation Discovery (ID); true crime is my thing, man. Occasionally I worry that the FBI is going to run across the list of library books I’ve checked out over the years and descend upon my house like hot lava spewing from Mount Vesuvius. But now I have cable and I can get my fix away from prying eyes. And I have learned boatloads, baby.

I’ve always known it’s a bad idea to wear shoes with a distinctive tread pattern. (See Exhibit 1.)

Converse low tops

Exhibit 1

Converse are a particularly bad choice since the tread pattern — while awesomely designed — offers too much information.

The center of the sole lists the brand name and the size, for crying out loud. If I’m doing the crime I’m going to make the CSI team work for it. I want an hour or two of lead time while they decide what size they’re looking for. So this one is Evidence Tampering 101.

However, recently I stumbled upon an advanced course — Evidence Tampering 437 — on ID. There was a guy who killed his wife by hiding out in the snow to ambush her. Since he knew he was going to leave footprints he bought two pairs of shoes — moccasins for comfort and shit kicker boots for obscurity.

Then he used his handy jig saw to cut the sole of the boots off so he could glue them onto the sole of the mocs. Genius! But he went wrong in his execution.

He used four types of industrial glue (I don’t know why he chose four, perhaps he’s anal retentive and wanted to make sure it stuck) which left tell-tale residue on the sole of the moccasins. He did remove the boot soles — and cut each one into four pieces — but he kept the moccasins! Mistake number one.

The cops did not find glue in the house, however, they did find pieces of the boot soles scattered throughout the house. Mistake number two.

When all of the pieces were found, the CSI guy went humpty dumpty (successfully) to create two boot soles which matched the footprints.

Come on, dude. Excellent idea merging two different soles and then cutting them off. But you should have thrown those suckers away in a dumpster located out of the state you live in.

Lastly, get rid of the mocs. I don’t care how comfy they are, ditch ‘em. Go buy a new pair if they’re that awesome but buy them with cash.

I don’t remember if that was all they had on him or not, but I was impressed with his ingenuity until he hid the soles in the house. You know they’re going to get a search warrant.

So today’s true crime lesson is: learn from someone else’s mistake.

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7 VIPs have spoken

  • Babs says:

    Firstly – Welcome back!

    Secondly – I hope you aren’t planning a murder?

    How can somebody put so much thought into planning a murder and then keep all the evidence in his house?
    Babs recently posted..Please ignore me!My Profile

    • cardiogirl says:

      Thanks Babs! Nah, I’m too anal retentive and too much of a wuss to carry out a murder, but I’ll tell you, some of the things people do are so insane.

      One of my favorites is the hugely devout Christian woman who was afraid to get a divorce since she believed her church would shun her. So she just murdered her husband instead.

  • Cheryl P. says:

    I, too am a big fan of those types of investigative crime programs, and true crime books as well. I really need to come back as a criminal attorney. (too late for me to start law school as I would die of old age before I got done)

    It is absolutely fascinating how people get to the point of committing crimes and even more fascinating at how convoluted their planning is. Here in Kansas City there have been a couple preachers that have murdered their wives to be with their girlfriends and those have been in the last couple of years.

    Committing a major crime isn’t on my bucket list but let’s hope that I would be smarter than that guy with the cut up soles and glue.
    Cheryl P. recently posted..I Can’t Believe You Said ThatMy Profile

  • Lin says:

    That’s kinda girly of that guy to have to worry about what shoes he was gonna wear for the murder. Wouldn’t he just prefer to buy a crappy pair of shoes for the murder and then ditch them afterward? I mean, could you wear your murder shoes again? If so, apparently HE knew something about getting blood stains out of his footwear–which I imagine to be a real beeyotch.

    I don’t watch crime shows, but I do like Hoarders. They are sorta like murderers because their sh*t always ends up smooshing the cat and they find it all dried out like shoe leather when they clean the place up. That’s my favorite.
    Lin recently posted..Not to put too fine point on it…My Profile

    • cardiogirl says:

      ikr?! <— I learned that from my 12-year-old. I didn’t know it meant I know, right but now that I do I use it to feel hip. Anyway, I sort of admired his dedication to keep those comfy moccasins, baby. I will not conform and I will go to prison because of those shoes (well, in addition to that pesky murder thing.)

      I have seen so many pancake cats on that show it’s amazing. They could use those cats as soles to shoes.

  • Tracy says:

    I appreciate that he kept the mocs. It’s like when you FINALLY find a really great pair of slippers, the kind that are really warm but don’t get too sweaty, and you can curl up on the couch with them but also walk out to get the paper or the mail, and in a pinch, they can also be your murderin’ slippers, the blood just washes clean out… It’s HARD to get rid of those slippers!

    (I’m one of those lazy slobs who does all my shopping online, so even if I was smart enough to buy multiple pairs of shoes — I am not — all the coppers would have to do is check my damn Zappos account.)

    • cardiogirl says:

      No joke, man! I was amazed by his loyalty to those shoes but, as you said, when you find the perfect pair of murderin’ slippers you have to do what you have to do.

  • What always amazes me is that people have the hootzpa (or can even spell hootzpa) to actually believe they will get away with it. I can’t get away with five minutes past the parking meter time limit.

  • OMG. I am totally obsessed with IDTV even though it gives me nightmares!
    meleah rebeccah recently posted..Have You Seen Me, Lately?My Profile

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