It’s best not to read a book while you’re making bacon
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Well we haven’t gone back in time via my journal in a while, so let’s get to it. Today we’re going to June 23, 1983 and I was 15. Damn, too bad I didn’t write this last Tuesday — it would have been 26 years ago to the day.
(Staggers about with her hand on her heart.) Wow, that’s a long time. I’m pretty sure Cate, Heidi Klum version 2.0 and Liz hadn’t been born yet (cries a bit).
It’s 12:54 pm and I’m watching “I Love Lucy.” I have shorts and a T-shirt on. At 2:00 pm I have a “tennis date.” No, just with my friend Karen. Me and Karen are gonna start running at night (around 8:00 pm) not too late.
Yesterday was our first day, we walked about a quarter of a mile — then we ran a 1/4 of a mile. God, am I out of shape. I was practically dying!
Oh no! Guess what’s on TV?! Sonny Eliot and the One O’Clock Movie. He is the biggest jerk. I know! Why couldn’t HE move to Palm Beach and Bill Kennedy could be on five days a week.
Today Ma and Pa are picking Claire up at the airport. She’s coming in from Florida. Jack got an apartment in St. Louis and he’s getting a phone today.
I made bacon today and read a book. Well while I was reading I wasn’t paying attention and I thought I smelled burning bacon. I checked it five minutes later. I was right. It was as black as sin! So I had to throw it away and make more.
I need a book on clipping a bird’s nails.
As usual, so much to comment on, so much to explain.
“I Love Lucy” was on every weekday from 12:30 pm til 1:00 pm and I watched it relentlessly. I even watched it on my lunch hour from high school. We lived a block from the school so I had enough time to go home and watch the show while I ate lunch. I don’t think I ate lunch in the cafeteria at high school the entire four years that I was there.
But this was written during summer vacation as evidenced by that day’s wardrobe. I have no idea why I thought it was important to note the shorts and T-shirt that I was wearing, but now we know. I also find it amusing that I noted — to my journal — that it shouldn’t get excited thinking I had a real date with a boy. I was just using the term “tennis date” casually.
Great sentence construction on “Me and Karen are gonna start running at night…”
I did watch a lot of television growing up. And for a long time there was a standing movie at 1:00 pm on Channel 50. The original host, Bill Kennedy, was awesome. He must have been in his late 60s or early 70s by the time I was watching.
Anyway, he would give an intro into the movie (always a black and white movie and I loved that) and after the commercial breaks, but before the movie resumed, he would give some more commentary. He also was pretty frank about his thoughts on the movie in question. Sometimes he wasn’t thrilled with it, but worked with what he had regardless.
So he retired somewhere in 1983 and moved to sunny Palm Beach. I was pissed off. I did not understand why a 74-year-old man felt the need to retire. I remember thinking he could have easily hosted the show from Florida. Effer.
Enter Sonny Elliot. I hated him then, can’t stand him now. He was just super smarmy and he drove me nuts. I’m sure I stopped watching the movies soon after he started hosting it.
I also think it’s funny that it took me about six minutes to write the first two paragraphs.
Now the bacon. As we know, everyone loves bacon and I was no exception. I still love bacon but it has to be crunchy. I call it shatter bacon because if you dropped it on the floor it should shatter. That’s how I like it and that’s how I eat it.
I do NOT want to chew on bacon fat. The fat on the bacon should crunch. So I’m not very surprised that I fired up the pan and then started reading a book. I am surprised that I waited for five minutes after I smelled it burning to check on it.
“Black as sin” is totally a phrase I learned from my mother. I don’t think I’ve actually said that in a long time but as soon as I read it, it came back to me. I also recall my mom saying “Hell’s bells!” when extremely frustrated.
Yeah, we’re Catholic.
And my miserly ways must have started after I moved out of my parent’s house, since I had no qualms about throwing that bacon away.
Lastly, I thoroughly enjoy the end of that entry. You may recall our blue parakeet Bingo and his battle with the bathroom door. Sometime in his short life I must have wanted to clip his nails. I do remember reading something that said the blood line can be seen through the bird’s nails and one must make sure to clip beneath that to avoid excessive bleeding.
I’m quite certain I never trimmed his nails.
And that concludes our trip down memory lane today. I hope you had as much fun as I did.
That was a random piece there, CG. From “I love Lucy” to tennis to bacon to Sonny Eliot. Wow. I can’t believe you had such disdain for the dude who hosted the afternoon movie. I’m with you on the bacon though–it HAS to be crispy. I hate wiggly bacon.
I have to say I am always surprised at out jangled those entries are. They hop all over the place and there’s no explanation of how we got from one thought to the other. I like to think that now I at least explain how we got from A to B when we’re going on a wild ride in my brain.
Ugh just the phrase wiggly bacon is disgusting.
I was also an “I Love Lucy” fan.
I agree, bacon must be crispy, otherwise it’s just gross.
Wasn’t Lucy awesome? I remember one episode when she was mad at Ethel when they went to Ethel’s home town. And while they were performing a song about shortbread.
Anyway, Lucy was behind Ethel making fun of her while she sang and I remember just howling — thought that was the funniest thing I ever saw. Of course now I can’t find that episode as I’m Googling. Oh well.
Black as sin! You were so dramatic on paper. Reminds me of me at this age. Except that I was also writing in code because my parents snooped so much, and I’m sure that my journals (if they still existed) would make little sense to me now.
Wasn’t I though? I do love seeing how I expressed myself because I was extremely shy and didn’t speak much as a kid. So these entries really did act as an outlet. And many times I do remember the things I was writing about.
So it’s fun to compare what I actually said about it at the time (usually nothing) and what I wrote about it.
lol…Love these snippets of young CG’s life. Although rather mundane things are discussed it still shows what was important to you and how you looked at the world…interesting stuff. Btw, I forgot all about Bingo and was wondering if you had rescued an injured bird and for some reason wanted to trim its nails…lol
Must disagree about the bacon, has to be slightly chewy otherwise what’s the point of eating something that basically is like glass???
btw…Since I know you hate typos, your post says “my misery ways must….” I’m assuming you meant miserly not misery ways. Although if taken far enough miserly ways could lead to misery. :P
glass is for bad arses. right? i pity the food! that’s not a typo, for once.
you’re not bad until you can eat glass. it’s like drinking raw eggs and shaking it off.
:)
LOL …love the non-typo!
To clarify, I like the bacon meat chewy, excess chewy parts of pure fat are usually discarded.
@ Buf It is funny. I know we never had Bingo’s nails trimmed and we never took him to the vet, um, except after the incident with the door (cringes). I had to give him pink medicine through an eye dropper.
I wonder if that was amoxicillin. It looked exactly like the pink amoxicillin I give my kids when they have ear infections.
Nice save on the typo! Thank you, I do indeed hate typos. But I enjoyed how you pondered whether it was meant to be that way or not.
@Natural You know me too well. I did stop at food, but then read the next sentence.
This is crazy, but my dad actually made my brother protein drinks way back in the day with raw eggs and made my brother drink it.
My brother was a weight lifter and hockey player and my dad felt like he was his coach. It was gross.
It was fun. And that was less than a year before I entered this world, though I wasn’t conceived yet. Moviing on. I don’t want to discourage you from the journal sharing. There’s no crying in blogging!
Oh, and who is Klum 2.0? My husband and I drool over actual Heidi Klum. Could she be any more beautiful/hotter?
I like chewy bacon. I think it’s all about how you had it growing up, and lard is a major part of a traditional Southern diet. (You save bacon drippings.) I like burnt hot dogs though and rare steak. Weird.
Black as sin isn’t an uncommon phrase, though I’m sure I heard some racial versions as well.
We were never allowed to leave my high school campus without a pass from the office. There was a very crotchedy old guard to get through the gate. My sister picked me up once and he made her show her college ID to prove she didn’t need a pass. Seriously crotchedy.
No comment on the Kennedy guy, but I really hate Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
I was also amused your journal shouldn’t get excited.
You are correct about the nails. If an animal has clear/white nails, you can see the blood vessels/quick and they’ll bleed if you cut into it, just like human nails. I am not so fortunate with my dogs’ black nails. Thanks for reminding me I need to do that today.
Oy, Liz. It’s funny how seeing it in black and white just hammers it home. Really it’s just amazing to me that I can now say I have pretty solid memories from 26 years ago.
Heidi 2.0 is one of my VIPers. She’s a college student who has done some modeling. I think she’s vacationing right now (that’s what she said in her last comment a week or so ago) but she indulges my wish that the real Heidi Klum would be my friend and would comment here in the Lounge.
Initially she commented under Heidi, then she changed it to Heidi Klum 2.0 and now she just signs Heidi Klum. It makes me feel special.
Don’t you have a hard time remembering that Elizabeth Hasselbeck used to be a contestant on Survivor? She certainly has, um, changed.
Yeah, I’m having solid memories from 15 years ago, it’s weirding me out a little.
I’ve heard she was on Survivor, but never saw it. She drives me batty.
As I recall, you’re not missing much from never having seen her on Survivor.
I was born in 1983. Yay for me!
I love the stream-of-consciousness randomness of your journal. Don’t you wish you had the personal free time to do all that stuff like play tennis with a friend and go for a run at night (yeah, I projecting here).
As for the bacon, I have a new way to cook bacon that has changed my life. Seriously. I got it in Men’s Health. You get out your baking sheet, put the raw bacon on there, and put it in the over on 350 for 12 minutes or so. Totally avoids having to flip it and also avoids the grease splattering everywhere. Does make the baking sheet messy, though. Might want to try this with an old sheet.
Get out of here. Seriously? I was projecting onto you and thought you were about 32. (I started having kids around that age.)
26, eh? You have totally blown my mind, sw. How long have you been working? I just assumed you graduated at 22 and have been doing your work gig for the last ten years.
Yes I do wish I could just wile away the day the way I used to. Man, things are so ironic. Nowadays I wish I had a scheduled nap in the day — like my 3-year-old does at school. Of course she hates nap time.
I also wish I could just be bored during the summer, like my 9-year-old whose constant refrain is, “I’m BORED!”
So the bacon in the oven doesn’t splatter on the sides of the oven? I’m going to have to give that one a try. Thanks for the tip.
Misspoke a bit there, I did. I meant that I had been born by 1983. You were right about my age. I’m 32. Maybe I feel like 26? :) Sorry about that.
The bacon thing is awesome, though. You should try it. You could even read a book while it cooks. Make sure to set a timer, though. :)
(Wipes sweat off her brow) I don’t know why this matters, but I feel better now.
I thought it was funny that after smelling burning bacon you waited 5 minutes to bother to check it. I wish you had shared what book it was that you were reading that had you so enthralled you couldn’t tear yourself away – not even to save the bacon.
Isn’t that such a typical teenager? How lazy was that?
I don’t remember the actual book I was reading but I do recall reading “The Other Side of Midnight” by Sidney Sheldon when I was in my early teens. And that lead to reading a lot of his other stuff.
All of it inappropriate for a 13 to 15-year-old.
I would have been reading Flowers In The Attic or some other such horrendous stuff at that age.
OH! I read those too! Good old VC Andrews. I remember being disgusted at their, um, drinking water up there in that attic.
you make your bacon how i like mine. if i chew anything fatty i’m grossed out – reason why i am not a big meat eater. it’s really gross, but cooked right aka well done and not moving, i’ll eat it. bacon must be crunchy. do you make it in the pan or the microwave. i’m guessing the latter. i think we had this public discussion before.
i loved i love lucy, actually i still do. she was a hoot.
interesting that you noted the time. now what book were you reading? huh?
it’s also best not to make bacon while naked. happened to me, have the burns to prove it.
It’s funny that you mentioned other meat. I like chicken to be very tender, I’m quite picky about that. But the texture of that chicken doesn’t bother me while bacon fat is totally unacceptable.
I’m extremely lazy when it comes to making bacon and that is why we rarely have it. I hate making it at all and actual toggle between using the microwave and the pan.
However, I have to say the microwave offers less mess and that is how I prefer to do it when forced to make it. And we did discuss bacon because I last made it for a soup recipe that Melissa offered on her site. The soup was absolutely delicious and the bacon really added to the flavor.
That day I did make it in the microwave because I was running out of time and had already used up enough bowls/dishes.
I think it was a Sidney Sheldon book. I read a lot of that and Jackie Collins. As I mentioned to the Bumbles, totally and completely inappropriate for a chick in her early teens, but my parents never paid attention.
I read in front of them relentlessly and they never even looked at the titles. I spent hours in the “Adult Reading Room” (not as racy as it sounds — it was for the die hard folks who wanted absolute silence) at our public library and there was one librarian in particular who constantly asked me if my parents knew what sort of books I was checking out.
I told her confidently, “Yes. Give them a call, they don’t care.” She never called and I kept checking books out.
Ok, so late but…make your bacon in the oven!! On a broiler pan, or just a cooling rack placed on a cookie sheet. Because its a) less messy and b) makes REALLY good shatter bacon, to quote you. You just need to heat the oven to 400-450 (depends on how hot your oven gets) and time it. You know how you like it, so start with 5 minutes for the first side then…watch it. It makes it easier to do the eggs since you are right there, too. So…one more cooking tip. Oh, if you have ‘Joy of Cooking’ I believe they have some ideas in there, as well.
OMG, the black as sin caught me off guard. I had to stop a laugh, before reading on. I do like my bacon crispy. If the fat is soft my husband says it’s not done, and my father says, you can get worms from under cooked pork. That’s a good reason for trying to make sure it’s well done. But not seeing about it even after smelling it… oh the horid smell of burnt bacon, yuk!
That is a weird metaphor, isn’t it? I never consciously assigned a color to sin, I just try to sidestep it so as to avoid the fiery pits of Hell, which I assume are shades of orange and red.
I never once considered the worm factor when it comes to bacon. Pork yes. Isn’t that silly? Never put those two together until today and now I feel completely justified in my love of shatter bacon. This is a health issue, people.
Yeah, burnt bacon does smell up the house. And I’m just now realizing that we never had a smoke alarm in our house growing up. Nowadays I set our smoke alarm off almost every time I use the oven.
I do it often enough that my 3-year-old will grab a dish towel and fan the air in front of the alarm to get it to stop.
I used to like only shatter bacon, but now I’ve eased up a bit. I still make sure there’s no chewy fat – a few can’t be avoided but I give those pieces to Steve. And usually I use bacon as an ingredient in something else, so it can’t be of the shatter variety.
I noted that thing about the sentence structure. I thought “CG would not write that now” hahaha.
I never realized you can’t use the shatter variety of bacon in cooking. Although, as you know, I don’t cook much. I did use it in that soup recipe you provided, though. But I guess it softened after sitting in the soup for a while.
I do cringe many times when see the way I abused the grammar. But then I laugh, because it is funny, isn’t it?
Crispy bacon is the only way to eat it. On white bread, never brown, with brown sauce. And it must be smoked in the old fashioned style. With a hot cup of sweet tea.
I’m so British….
Also, when are we having the Party Posse again? I have new heels. :D
What’s brown sauce? Just a standard beef (or other meat) gravy?
It’s like ketchup, but made with vinegar and spices. I don’t know exactly what goes into it, but it goes really well with bacon. And also cheese.
The wiki explanation makes that look like A-1 Steak Sauce, which is spicy and brown and tastes pretty good on steak. Although the steak snobs out there will tell you it’s a crime to dip steak in anything, much less low brow A-1.
Yeah does sound alot like A-1 maybe an A-1/Ketchup mixture. Sounds like it could be tasty. I’m not much into egg sandwiches although I used to be. Nowadays I tend to go for sausage and cheese biscuits/mcmuffins/etc without the egg. Breakfast sandwiches are huge thing out here in NJ (or at least the areas I frequent). Most people get some sort of meat either bacon, sausage or pork roll/taylor ham** as well as eggs and cheese. Ketchup would be primary condiment of choice if one is used.
** Pork Roll/Taylor Ham is this weird NJ meat product. From Wiki: “Although the product is widely consumed and enjoyed, it resists accurate description. Some people compare the taste and/or texture to SPAM, Treet, bologna, mild salami, or US-style Canadian bacon”. Maybe Natural can add some insight.
Buf I have never in all my life heard of Taylor Ham but I have to say I love the wiki explanation that it defies accurate description.
It actually makes me want to try it.
@Solomon Amen brother, although we diverge after that point. I assume brown bread is wheat bread and I’m wheat all the way. I find white bread sort of disintegrates when used for a sandwich.
Mostly I only eat a BLT (bacon, lettuce, tomato) with mayonnaise when I’m eating bacon on a sandwich. Otherwise I have it along side my scrambled eggs. That is, when I make it, which isn’t often.
And I’m with Buf on the brown sauce. What is that? I thought beef gravy as well.
I do need to fire up the train again for the Posse. I’ll work on that soon.
I love scrambled eggs. I always do mine in a pyrex jug in the microwave. It’s much easier to clean up after.
This is brown sauce – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HP_Sauce
Wow, I never considered putting anything on my eggs besides shredded cheese, salt and pepper.
That WAS fun! Again I’m struck by our similarities… a love for I Love Lucy and a running-partner, for example (I didn’t keep my partner very long, though – we ran at 5:30 AM, and I got REALLY tired of skulking outside her house at that ungodly hour waiting for her to CURL HER HAIR before she was ready to leave).
I never burned bacon while reading a book though… just potatoes. And overflowed the bathtub… many, many times.
Get out of here! She curled her hair before you ran?! That’s what a ponytail is for, baby.
As a kid, overflowing the bathtub seems like a rite of passage. As an adult I would be so pissed off at the clean up effort required.
Yup, I was born in 1984. Sorry about that.
Side note (woot!): When my niece was born, Nate remarked (and obviously this applies to our baby too), “wow, imagine being born in 2009… that’s like, the future!” Ha ha.
Had to laugh at “black as sin” – such a Catholic comment :)
Oy.
It is weird having children born in 2000 and beyond. It’s also very strange to see high school kids with high school jackets that show the numbers 09 or 13 to indicate that he or she will graduate in 2009 or 2013.
Honestly, I remember seeing high school jackets with 90 on the side and thinking that was crazy. I graduated from high school in 1986, by the way.