Cardiogirl: 19% body fat 100% fun

Guest written by our friend Mason Abbott

One of my favorite reality television shows to watch these days is Supernanny. There are parts that I don’t like. For example when the children on the show are allowed to run around cursing and hitting and biting their parents but this is only in the beginning.

The nanny, Jo Frost, will come in to the home for an observation day to find out what is going on and what the normal family routine is like. She will then make assessments based on what she sees and will adjust things accordingly.

Jo is really great at assessing the underlying issues in the relationships between the parents and the children and even between the mom and the dad. Sometimes she spends more time counseling the parents than she does correcting the children’s behaviors.

She recognizes the things that it is sometimes hard to see when you are the one in the relationship or in the family situation and she helps each family take a step back and realize what is going on.

Check out your DirecTV guide to find out when Supernanny comes on in your area.

Guest post written by Mallory Shilton

One of my favorite celebrities to fall on Twitter is Joel McHale, the actor who hosts The Soup and stars in Community. I’ve been watching him on The Soup for years now, so of course I started following along with other things in his career. Community is my favorite sitcom to watch on TV. It’s like community college and all the different people that it brings together was just the perfect thing to make a sitcom about.

I love to keep up with his Twitter account with my wireless internet New York. He seems to have a really good balance of jokes and tweets about his appearances and projects. If you’re going to follow a celebrity, I think that they definitely need that balance.

Now I haven’t seen Joel McHale in that new Spy Kids movie with Jessica Alba yet, but it’s not really up my alley so I might just stick to Community instead. At least I know that’s good and within in my taste range. You also have to love how mean Chevy Chase’s character acts on there.

Sometimes God answers my prayers and when He does I’m jacked.

Now there are people who will say that He answers every prayer and when He ignores me has no discernible response that means His answer is, “No.”

That doesn’t work for me since I am a black and white thinker.

If what I’m asking for doesn’t happen I just assume I got a busy signal and I need to keep asking. So far my track record on I’m-sort-of-asking-for-a-miracle prayers is zero; no reply. That sucks.

But my track record on small, sarcastic prayers is roughly 40/60. Many mornings I ask God to please let there be a clean white shirt for each one of my kids. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. But recently a standard prayer of mine got the green light. When luck
is
with me,
I can catch
an episode
of “Dateline” with
Keith Morrison.

I have been praying that my cable provider would add Investigation Discovery to the basic cable line up. Perhaps a lesser woman would have given up after a year or two, but my tenacity has finally paid off.

About a month ago I was flicking through the stations and suddenly there it was — manna from Heaven.

I can now plug into true crime 24/7. My kids call them my freaky shows and since my freaky shows have returned I could not be happier. I really find human behavior fascinating. I have no idea why some people believe murder is their only option. I just don’t get it.

I also find it amazing that a person would murder someone and then go to Home Depot wearing a baseball cap to buy two extra-large canvas tarps with his own credit card.

Then, that same person has the balls to sit in the police station and deny that he was ever at the store.

The cop: “We’ve got you on a surveillance tape buying a tarp with your credit card.”

The dude who’s totally guilty: “That wasn’t me.”

The cop: “You expect me to believe that you never went to the store and that you never used your own credit card to purchase a canvas tarp to wrap up your ex-wife’s body? You also expect me to believe that you never went to the landfill that your father owns to dump her body?”

The dude who’s totally guilty: “That was not me. I’ve never been to Home Depot.”

That’s when the cop pauses and says, “How did you know it was Home Depot? I never mentioned the name of the store.”

Bus. Ted! Roll the credits on another satisfying episode and praise Jesus.