I’ve noticed some strange and incongruent things happening at the YMCA, so of course I feel the need to share.
Rest assured, you will not contract hepatitis C at the Y
There are three locker rooms available at the Y — the men’s locker room, the women’s locker room and the family locker room. Since I’m a chick I can only tell you about two of those, but I’m guessing the women’s locker room always has a pillow fight in progress.*
So near the sinks there’s a biohazard box mounted on the wall to dispose of used needles. WTF? Who’s using needles in the locker room at the Y?
Maybe he’s trying to increase his lung capacity
I’ve never really considered what the other members’ lifestyles are like outside of the Y. I’m there with one goal in mind — to get a solid workout. I get pissed off when someone distracts me either by talking to me, by faux running on the treadmill or by passing gas repeatedly.
So it took me by surprise when I walked past a guy lifting weights and smelled cigarette smoke oozing out of his pores.
Do smokers routinely workout? I’ve never even considered that question before, but now I find it fascinating. Why bother working out if you smoke a pack a day? Is there a health concern? Is smoking a cigarette after a workout satisfying? Don’t smokers get winded pretty easily?
I don’t get that.
Is handicapped parking available at upscale gyms like Bally Total Fitness?
As you know I’m a cheapskate so you shouldn’t be surprised to learn that I’ve never set foot in an upscale gym. I can’t afford the membership fees or the workout togs necessary to fit in with all of the cool kids. And I think it’s safe to say the YMCA definitely caters to the blue collar folks among us.
The Y also has a hu-YUGE elderly clientèle. They usually descend upon the place when the doors open at 5 a.m. and most of them are gone by 10:30 a.m. They’re sort of the equivalent of barflies except they’re knocking back cups of coffee in the lounge after their workout instead of whiskey and bourbon.
It’s not unusual to see an obituary posted at the front desk by the check-in scanner and nine times out of 10 there’s a handy photo supplied with the obit. That’s a cool touch, methinks. So it stands to reason that there’s handicap parking available right outside the front doors.
Even so it still seems weird to see handicap parking at a gym; it’s like a fish riding a bicycle. And naturally that brings me right back to my question: Is handicap parking available at most gyms and if not is that considered discrimination?
I’ve got a bowl of pennies in the Lounge.
*How did that rumor get started? Was it the best they could do back in the 1950s?