And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming or She made her First Communion
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Thank you for indulging my inner teenager and reading the story I wrote with my brother. It was fun for me to re-read and to remember him dictating the scenes. Each time we talked about the next installment I had no idea what was going to happen. And so I would wait and say, “What!? There is no way that dog is going to follow JJ and then eat an entire vat of Puppy Chow.” And he would say, “Just write it down, that’s part of the story.”
So thanks for joining me on a trip down memory lane. Now it’s time to come back to the present.
You may recall that our oldest daughter’s First Communion was rapidly approaching. Thankfully that occurred, without incident, on Saturday. I’d been nervous since I have a lot of unresolved issues regarding the Church and my own spirituality. You may recall we had to yank our kids out of the previous Catholic school last fall and change parishes after our former priest came onto me. And my own First Communion was a rushed event that was done a few years late.
So I wasn’t really looking forward to this event. I just wanted to get it behind us and was worried about how the day was going to go and how I would handle it. In true Cardiogirl fashion, I procrastinated and waited until the last minute to order the cake, waited until the last minute to clean the house, etc. As if procrastinating was going to make the event disappear.
You may recall Mr. C attended the three hour retreat with Katie a month ago. I did attend the practice run at the end of last week, because Katie asked me to. It was at that practice run when my kid was the only one to drop the unconsecrated host on the floor. Score!
But on the day of the event she did fine and did not drop anything. I did think this was amusing — when we were driving home from the practice run she said, “I wonder if the consecrated host (the host blessed by the priest) will taste different than the unconsecrated host.”
Later she verified for me that they tasted the same. And that she did not like the wine. She said it tasted like grape juice and alcohol. I said, “That sounds about right.”
So in preparation for this event, which my family of origin was unaware of, I had planned on taking some preemptive Ativan. But I forgot. And surprisingly I didn’t need it.
That was a shock to me.
I was really surprised by my response. It felt like a normal response — the one a mother should have when seeing her daughter make her First Communion. I did not burst into tears caused by so many things from the past. I did not feel jaded as I watched her accept the host and the wine.
I felt happy for her, proud of her and like we had made a spiritual accomplishment as a family. I was able to actually live in the present moment and enjoy my daughter’s day. I wasn’t expecting that and I was pleasantly surprised.
She was as happy as I hoped she would be. I think her memories of her First Communion will be positive. I know she loves the gift we gave her — a pink princess bible with a magnetic rhinestone buckle. I thought for sure she just wanted it because of the cover, which is partially true.
But she has surprised me and reads one page each night before she goes to bed. She even read out loud to me and Allison the other night. We heard about the serpent tempting Eve with the apple. It’s very interesting to me to listen to an 8-year-old read from the Bible.
Her voice is that of a child’s and her perspective is new and open. She’s even impressed when I can speculate what’s going to happen (God will put Adam to sleep and take his rib to form a woman).
And more than anything, I find there may be renewed hope for my own faith life.
