Fat butterflies don’t fly and other interesting phrases
I just love the Google Search words that guide the unsuspecting reader to the Cardiogirl Empire. I think my site does not live up, most of the time, to what these folks are looking for.
I like when a person gives a lot of specific information and then my site shows up as a possible match.
The person who typed in “feels like something wants to popout out on left upper quadrant” was probably looking for medical advice, not information about crossword puzzles. But apparently I used those words, in no particular order, to explain my hatred of crossword puzzles. Sorry for misleading you, dude.
Another seeker came up with the following statement: “what kind of medication would a crazy person take.” If you’re going to throw out a query like that, at least add a question mark at the end of it, okay? Of the first ten sites that appear, mine is number eight.
And just for the record I was writing about Ibuprofen and thyroid medication. But by that logic, the medication a crazy person takes is apparently Ibuprofen and Levoxyl.
Then there was the person who questioned (again minus the question mark — watch your grammar people) “what if i forget to take my levoxyl medicine for a day.”
One day is not a problem, trust me. I came up as number three out of ten on this search and I know what I’m talking about. In the past I have forgotten to take my Levoxyl at least twice a week for a month. You’re not going to die but you might gain a pound, you’ll be tired and your skin might itch.
Oh yeah. And you might be deemed a crazy person, since you take Levoxyl and we’ve decided the medication crazy people take is Ibuprofen and Levoxyl.
The most random search I found was “fat butterflies don’t fly.” I am not a butterfly expert by any means. There is, however, a butterfly section at our local zoo and I have been inside of it a couple of times. I wasn’t paying close attention, but I don’t recall seeing a butterfly with a muffin top.
Anyway, I did search the link myself and found a song by the Red Elvises and the snippet Google picked up of the lyrics were: Under the blue blue sky. Stupid blue birds fly. Eating butterflies.
What? So I went to the site and found the lyrics to the song. There are no fat butterflies in the song, but I did find two stanzas that I particularly enjoyed.
Beautiful Leila on emerald lake
You’re rolling a joint I’m frying a steak
O baby, what a lovely dayWe’ll live in a hut, and talk about art
We’ll get a fat cat, named Bonapart
O baby’ o what a lovely day
For some reason I like the idea of a fat cat named Bonapart. And the image of rolling a joint while someone else fries a steak is something I’ve never considered, but I enjoyed the strange juxtaposition.
It reminds me of something I ran into over at Everydaythoughtsfromlife who had this stellar line: A clairvoyant plays hang man with a knight.
I can imagine any one of those lines as a spy code from the Cold War era.
Picture it. I’m in a fedora and a trenchcoat. Yes, my ponytail is peeking out under the hat and above the collar of the coat. It’s dusk and there’s fog rolling in. I sit on a park bench when another person strolls over and stops to admire the ducks swimming in the pond.
I say, “We’ll get a fat cat…”
The other person casually answers, “Named Bonapart.”
And the newspaper trades hands as I walk into fog. Then stumble over a rock and try to act like I meant to do that anyway.
Fade to black.
I have nothing to add, apart from to say I love the shoe.
It is a groovy shoe, methinks!
And I thought George Michael’s (or was it Wham?) line: “Guilty feet have got no rhythm” was odd. I think someone was smoking the joint instead of rolling it when they wrote that song. That’s some weird sh*t.
That is some weird sh*t Lin. I find that’s my favorite kind, though. Um, not that I’m often rolling joints. Or ever. But, you know “joint” is such a relative term…
Nevermind the shoe – the whole freaking post is cool. I love the idea of fat butterflies… and, ummm… rolling joints. Ahem…* Best though, the stumble at the end. Prolly from the joint, Shetbag?!
Oh Les, stop. Yeah, that joint always loosens up the real joints, you know? Or uh, so I’ve heard, she said as she fell down a set of imaginary stairs that appeared out of nowhere.
****! i just deleted my comment and there is no back button on my brain, I can’t word it the way it was. darn it!
@ Les, I agree, this post is the coolest, I loved it, very entertaining.
darn I wish I had a back button or at least could remember what I wrote. I think I said you make me want to find out what people type in (search for) to call up my blog. thing is, i’m not sure how to do that or where to go. I’m sure it’s in my control panel somewhere under stats, maybe? Will check that out when I get home.
This comment sucks, I just know the other one was better. Fade to back button.
I believe the word you are looking for, Natural, is INT! It does come in handy as an expletive, I’ve found. Life (and witty come backs) would be so much easier with a back button, wouldn’t they?
I use Sitemeter and as far as I know, there’s no way to capture the referrals except for the current 100.
I also use Google Analytics. That’s in your Google Account where you choose the Google Reader or AdSense (punks), etc. Anyway, when you install it, you copy a piece of code that goes in your blog and I think in 24-48 hours you have data to look at. It’s really quite fascinating, I think. It tells how long someone stayed at your blog based on that search and how many pages they viewed, etc. It’s good for the obsessives out there.
I just googled “Big Fat Cat Butterfly rolling Medications in the sky with Diamonds” and I got this website. Can I take thyroid meds if I am normal – and drink coffee. I am sorry I have lost my question mark. Nice shoe. koo kook a shoe.
Yes! (shoots fist in the air) My blogging dream has been realized!
I’m sorry Frank, only the abnormals can take thyroid meds. Coffee has no bearing on the meds, it’s simply your normalcy that precludes you from the meds. Better luck next time.
I like the fedora and trench coat. You would be an excellent spy CG!
Thanks Mrs. S. I think it would be fun once I got over that fear of dying and/or being tortured thing.
koo kook a shoe …. snort :)
That was a fun one, wasn’t it?
Oh how I miss the crazy searchers. Before I moved blogs I used to get some many funny ones. And of course, because I wrote about my siblings so much, a lot of incest stuff. Ew.
Eeew is right. (shudders) Wow.
That reminds me. It is about time for another story compilation. Thanks for the link love ;)
BTW I think the only thing someone has searched for and come upon my blog is “How do I show my wife appreciation” which isn’t bad, but nothing about meds or joints or anything like that.
Anytime Sal!
Sadly, I have to say you must consider the source (me) when you are looking at the oddball searches that come up. But it is fun to see the long ones strung together. They’re much more fun that “cardio” “exercise” or “kelly ripa’s biceps.”
You just gotta love the Google search. I get a lot of tattoo searches — and tattoo anagram searches as well. I guess they’re terribly disappointed when they click and find just my goofy cr*p.
I agree with the other VIP’ers — you’d make an outstanding spy or P.I., fedora or not!
Thanks Elle! Maybe, when I start my spy career, I’ll wear a baseball hat so I can hang my ponytail out the back.
Well, that sent me down a weird path. I did a few google searches, and ended up at “http://www.muffintopmayhem.com/”
but I didn’t see a single butterfly there :)
My site gets a lot of searches for ‘wet beaver pics’, and I know they are disappointed when all they see are swimming rodents with large flat tails.
Tim, I just had to check out the link and that is one heck of a train wreck. A train wreck I tell you, which of course means I spent a while clicking through pictures.
Well, we can’t be everything for everyone regarding those searches, eh? Maybe some of those folks looking at your site really are lumberjacks.
I once wrote a post called “7 Ways I Masturbate With Google Analytics”. The top search engine find for my site is “ways to masturbate”. I’m on the first page. Yeah.
Not cool.
Wow, Matthew. Um, way to turn Google on its head? I think.
@ Matthew, I remember that post. Too funny. Now I’m really interested. I bet you people search for WTH and my blog comes up first. Hey I might end up getting my feelings hurt, ignorance is bliss, maybe i should just enjoy not knowing.
you would make a great PI cardiogirl, (but not an interrogator?) just watch out for the rocks. too funny. don’t you hate that.
I’m going to have to become on of the Google masses who views that post.
And I could never be a successful interrogator because I always believe whatever anyone tells me. Every time I watch the forensic shows and they show that the suspect has the same nylons and the same tennis shoe imprints used on the victim I believe the lame excuse they give. And then I think, ‘Well, maybe it was a coincidence that he and the real killer have the very same pair of hot pink size 18.5 crocodile-skin high-heel tennis shoes. It could happen.’
So how many hits do you get each day, on average? Just curious.
This is so crazy, I actually feel like I am going to reveal my weight. (Closes eyes and holds breath) about 130 per day, but I wish it were much more.
Well this post has just moved you to No: 2 on the crazy medication search.
But look at the bright side. Some of those crazy medication people may become dedicated readers. I found your blog through a feed titled technology.
I’ve wondered how you found me sanjay. Technology?! I can’t even recall a time when I wrote about technology. Me and writing about technology feels like me writing about the time I visited the moon. I wonder if that comment will spawn searches about space travel.
I’m glad you found me and enjoyed yourself enough to hang around. I do enjoy your conversation!
p.s. The competitive chick in me now wants to be number one under the crazy med search. If I can make it to No. 2 I know I can get to the top spot!
“Fat Butterflies Can’t Fly” is a pro-anorexia thing where skinny girls justify needing to be skinnier. I was looking for a specific anti-pro-anorexia blog post that responds to the appalling nature of that quote, and the ridiculous ends people reach to achieve figures the likes of which have not been seen since Dachau.
You were second on my result page for “fat butterflies can’t fly,” FYI. You caught my eye with “19% body fat, 100% fun.” I came for the figure, but I stayed for the brains.
Oh, and to help you in your med search, go ahead and add Xanax your Lexapro into more Narcotics. And don’t forget to take your Laxatives when you’re leaning heavily on the Lortab. I hope this helps in your quest.
That’s crazy, Christina, but enlightening. I suppose if you look at it metaphorically the phrase makes more sense than it initially did. It’s also sad that I am receiving hits because of that sentiment — particularly when my tag line is reinforcing a pro-anorexia stance.
Further, I guess anything can be found on the internet — which is both a pro and a con of the super highway — but it’s depressing to know there are people out there looking for tips and suggestions on how to be a more “successful” anorexic.
Next time I write about my meds I’ll have to add those extra meds just so I can dominate the Google search. You’re been very informative, Christina. Thanks for clarifying that.