The book of questions, Volume 14
Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts.
Today’s question comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
And here it is, Question 171.
Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
That’s a difficult question to answer. And immediately I wondered, would I be blind or deaf from birth or would it happen tomorrow, after I’ve lived a life with sight and hearing?
It also reminds me of a sort of game I used to play with my sisters and friends, Would You Rather… For example, would you rather have terrible acne or moderate arthritis? Would you rather marry for love or money? That kind of thing.
Anyway, I’m going to say this question assumes you have had sight and hearing up until this point in life and you have to decide what you’re giving up tomorrow. Also, you can’t use a hearing aid and there’s no cornea transplant for you. You’re taking the full enchilada.
I think I would prefer to be deaf over blind. I would seriously miss my husband and kids’ voices and listening to music but it seems like adapting to a hearing loss would be a bit easier than losing my sight. I’m not sure if I would be able to drive a car because some amount of driving relies on listening.
Quick side note: The people who drive while talking on a cell phone really infuriate me. Just yesterday I was the first car in line waiting at a red light. This intersection, for some reason, is notorious for people sitting in the left lane waiting for the red light with no blinker. When the light turns green that mofo at the front of the line flicks on his or her blinker.
(Screams unintelligible words.)
Since I cannot get out of my car and bitch slap them for their inconsiderate behavior I have created an escape hatch for myself. Heading either east or west at that intersection (because it happens in each direction) I leave one car length between my car and the car in front of mine. When that punk invariably throws the blinker on after the light switches to green I can check for an opening behind me and pass him or her in the right lane.
Now this is tricky because at a red light some people will pull up in the right lane with the thought of bypassing everyone in the left lane, whether those people are turning left or not.
I cannot and will not tolerate that. Hang back a tad until you know the person in the left lane is actually turning left. If that person is going straight on to the next light, slip into the opening BEHIND that car. The same opening that is created by the asshole two cars down who is now turning left.
That’s what I do. I wait my turn as I pass the left hand person and get behind the opening. (Screams again in frustration.)
Yesterday, while I sat in the left lane, I had a punk sit next to me on the right at the red light. I, of course, had no blinker on. I was going straight. There were no cars behind me or the person to my right. When the light changed we both floored it to the next light which is roughly 150 feet from Frustration Corner.
We were neck and neck until the last moment when that punk pulled ahead and cut me off, only to slow down and get into the actual dedicated left turn lane at the second light. As I drove past I gave my annoyed evil eye only to discover it was a woman TALKING ON A CELL PHONE!!
So the point to this segue is that being able to hear things around you while driving a car is pretty important. So I wonder if being deaf precludes one from driving. Because talking on a cell phone while driving a car simulates being deaf to a certain degree. It’s definitely a factor.
Thank you for allowing the outburst, back to the question at hand.
I think there would be more pleasures left in life if I retained my sight. I could quilt, read books, watch television/movies with the closed captioning enabled. I could get on the internet, write, send letters (I am going to get back on the bandwagon Chris, Blue, Wendy and Elle) and learn sign language.
So there’s my answer — I’ll go with deaf for $1,000, Alex. What’s your choice?
Hola CG!
Hope all is well!
I too would rather be deaf. I don’t know whether I could learn to read lips, but I would hate giving up reading and many other hobbies.
Also to answer your question about whether the deaf can drive, yes they can. I renewed many driver’s licenses for the deaf folk.
I can relate to your aggravating experience with the inconsiderate a$$ on the cellphone. They are everywhere! I can’t remember which city it is that I heard has a ban on using cellphones while driving in the left lane. But I would love to see something like that enacted here.
Well take care and enjoy your weekend!
Mucho Smooches!
Val
I should of thought to ask you about that! I’ve heard about certain cities instituting a ban, but I didn’t remember if those cities were in Michigan or other states Man the incident of citizen’s arrest would go through the roof if people started taking license plate numbers. Although, I suppose if you were going to report them you’d be driving and dialing also. Unless you pulled over to report them and then told the cops, “He’s heading east on 12 Mile! Go get him!”
I have been thinking about this question for the longest and thought of writing about it to see what others thought.
I will have to pick deaf. I took ASL, we have 3 sign language interpreters in the family, my niece of 6 being the youngest one knowing how to sign fluently and nobody is deaf. Deaf people can still do many things without assistance like drive, use a computer, the telephone or the TTY/Relay service…but are robbed of hearing music. I LOVE listening to music. I appreciate my hearing. I feel that being blind, although there are many blind people out there who are not held back by their disability, I feel is more limiting to me. I would hate not being able to see things, faces, colors, sunsets.
So I rather be deaf.
That’s impressive, Natural three fluent interpreters and one of them is SIX?! Wow.
I think the decision does come down to being more independent with this disability (deafness), rather than the other.
ROFL at this
When the light turns green that mofo at the front of the line flicks on his or her blinker.
it’s true. i hate that.
Isn’t it, though? So many times I want to ask that person, WTF? What were you thinking?
I understand a small percentage of those people are not familiar with the area or make a last minute change in their driving plans, but the vast majority drive that route EVERY DAY!!
It think I, too, would choose deafness. I think I could cope better with fading noise. Also, I’ve always been fascinated by sign language; sooner or later I WILL take it at the leisure learning classes at the local university.
This reminds me of elementary school. A couple of us learned the sign language alphabet so we could “talk” by spelling out words during class. We would make a slash with our entire hand at the end of each spelled out word to indicate we were spelling a new word. It worked pretty well when the teacher’s back was to the class. And strangely enough, roughly 30 years later, I remember almost all of the letters of the alphabet.
Q, X Y and Z are alluding me, though. I think Y is like the hang ten surfer sign with the index finger and pinky up and the thumb holding the middle two fingers down. I also think Z is just the pinky creating the Z shape in the air. But I can’t remember Q and X at all.
A little help out there? Anyone know that? I know, I can Google it, but I’ll wait for an answer anyway.
Deafness for me. Deaf people get to drive their own cars, blind people need chauffeurs. If you’re deaf you’re not bothered by the phone. And all those people with irritating voices suddenly become less irritating.
I swear I’ve seen shows before where deaf folks have that TTY machine, but the ring becomes a flashing light instead. Still, it would be easier to ignore telemarketers that way.
This is way too easy for me. I’d much rather be deaf. You would still be able to read and see people’s faces, still see the changing colors on the leaves, etc. and still watch TV with closed captioning. Being blind scares me much more.
The thing is that macular degeneration runs in my family, so there is a chance that I may some day be blind. Scary stuff.
That is frightening, to be faced with any disease that’s genetic and runs in one’s family, but more so with your sight. As you inferred, blindness creates such dependence and after a life of being independent it would be so difficult to deal with that.
Oh I would absolutely rather be deaf than blind. Here in California it’s illegal to use a cell phone while you are driving. Some people take that seriously, some not. I still see people talking on the phone, and they are usually the ones with frustrated drivers behind them!
I thought there was *some place* that had a law against cell phone usage while driving. How do the police enforce that law? Is it like speeding? If they catch you, you get a ticket?
Oh, I’d rather be blind. I’d miss seeing everything, and driving, but I’m all about words. I’m a Shakespeare nut, and if I couldn’t hear his poetry again… I read a lot, yes, but that’s what braille is for.
Incidentally, I’m fairly sure deaf drivers are not legal.
In my state, New Jersey, talking on a handheld set is illegal while driving – not that it stops people. I can’t tell you how many people try to make left turns (often illegal in this state), cut me off, speed, drive too slowly, or simply drive erratically because of their OH SO IMPORTANT gossip.
Wow, it’s illegal to drive deaf? My source here in Michigan says it’s legal (in this state).
And way to go Rebecca — the first one to choose blind over deaf. Can I get a booyah?
Wow, everyone thus far has picked “deaf”! I am seriously torn. Half of me wants to pick blind because I would hate losing my hearing. I’m a musician, and I don’t know if I could ever be okay with not hearing music ever again. Sure, Beethoven kept composing after he went deaf, but he could hear the music in his head. I’m not that good. Also, I had a blind friend in high school that didn’t let anything hold her back. She could read, she could write, she went to movies, she used the computer, she could do everything I did — except drive. And is it really that bad not to be able to drive anymore?
But then I wouldn’t want to give up my photography habit, and if I were blind, I couldn’t take photos. And therein lies the dilemma for me. At this exact second in time, I’d have to be deaf for that very reason — I couldn’t give up photography.
Regarding driving — please, CG, please do not come to Rhode Island. You will want to stab all the drivers here in the neck with a spoon. It is that bad. Picture the intersection you are describing, and let’s say that both lights (the one for your side and the one for oncoming traffic) go green at the exact same time. So the guy in the left lane flicks on his blinker and waits for traffic to clear before turning up there in Michigan, yes? Here in Rhode Island, that guy would floor the accelerator as soon as the light turned green and turn left as oncoming traffic moves into the intersection. Death-defying left turns, and it happens at every single green light since few of our lights have a dedicated left turn lane. And in Boston, if they’re sitting at a green light, waiting for oncoming traffic to clear so they can turn left, they’ll get tired of waiting and decide to go — regardless of whether there is still oncoming traffic! We nearly T-boned several people in Boston for that very reason the one day we went up there. It’s insane.
PS — I was wondering if we were going to get back to writing. YAY! Now I’m excited.
Again, way to go for considering going blind. There are so many things to give up either way. I guess today’s question makes me so thankful that I have my sight (corrected by thick glasses) and hearing. Amen to that.
And I will not be driving in Rhode Island. Ever. I’ll have to seriously consider being a passenger in RI. That. Is. Nuts!
p.s. I’m extremely proud of myself. I wrote you a letter just this morning and it is addressed and in my mailbox ready for the mailman to pick it up today.
Deaf. Took ASL. Big deaf community in my city.
Short answer, having a hormonal/anxiety day. Went to my prenatal and sat crying the whole time. Don’t know why. Everything’s ok with the baby. OBGYN wants me to see psychiatrist. Hate breaking in a new doctor.
Hated walking out of the office all red faced and puffy eyed. Worried everyone in waiting room was staring and thinking that we’d gotten really bad news. Hate to tell them, no, nothing bad, I’m just this way normally!!!
Re: red faced and puffy eyed: that’s what frequently happened when I left Paula’s office and felt the same way. Like it’s not enough that I’m coming out of a therapist’s office now I’m clearly finishing a crisis. Ugh.
Deaf. One hundred percent, wholeheartedly, without having to think. I could cope with deafness. Blindness would freak me out no end. I once lost my glasses for a few minutes, and went into a flat spin.
Deafness all the way.
Wow, I’m surprised this is so overwhelmingly going the deaf route.
Wow. Tough question. Can I just be mute? I talk so much and I need to shut up.
Hmm, I hadn’t considered mute. I always assumed mute went hand in hand with deaf. I wonder if mute can stand on its own.
I would love to be different, but I choose deafness. Although never hearing the words “I love you again” would be sad I think never seeing the ones I love would be worse.
It is a tough decision when you really consider what you would have to give up on either side.
I think I’d rather be blind.
My love of voices is immense, seriously huge. It’s one of my “things.” I think it would be very painful for me not to hear Steve’s voice again, among others.
And sound in general is a big thing for me, as a musician, as a person. My audio memory is far stronger in the last 10 years than my visual one.
If I were blind, I could learn to find my way around and I think it would only heighten my awareness. I’m already great at walking around completely unafraid in the dark and never bumping into anything. I love it, in fact.
And I wouldn’t mind so much seeing only what I see in my head. On the other hand, I have a suspicion that if I were deaf, I would feel far more alone, and totally in my own head all the time.
I’m just spitting out thoughts, even if they’re jumbled. :)
That does make a lot of sense, Melissa. I was so focused on what I would be able to do, regarding the loss of either one, that I hadn’t really considered how alone I would feel being deaf. I suppose if you are born deaf you know nothing else and the feeling of being alone isn’t as great — since you never knew it before. But giving it up and knowing what you are missing would be difficult.
New thoughts to ponder that are making me even more grateful for my health.
I actually had this conversation once with someone. I decided that I’d rather go blind. Having had sight for this long, I can imagine a sunrise/sunset/put an imaginary face on someone whom I’ve only heard… but to never hear a new song…?! That would be a horror.
Wow Les. It is interesting how each person’s passion (either sight or hearing) contributes greatly to the answer. I’m much more visually-oriented, I think.
I befriended a deaf girl on Facebook, who explained to me how, despite what others might consider a handicap, she leads a productive, healthy, rich life. I think the loss of sight would be more difficult to manage than the loss of sounds. So, like many who have answered before me, I too would rather be deaf.
I think I remember reading about that encounter on your blog. I do think it would be easier to adapt to going deaf rather than blind — it you’ve already experienced both.
Blind. I can’t live without music.
I’m always surprised with your brevity, Angelika. Blind it is. Team Blind is starting to pick up, based on people’s love of music. How interesting.
If it had to be one or the other, I’m gonna have to choose deaf. I would certainly miss listening to books on tape and would miss music intensely and the sound of my sons voices, but it would be even harder not to be able to watch them grow up or attend “gay plays” with adolescent boys who don’t appreciate the finer things in life, etc.
The nice thing, is that everyone seems to be able to identify some positive things that could be gleaned despite each handicap. If that is what God ordained to happen, I’m guessing He would provide extra blessings in the other senses to compensate for the loss or would bring some blessing to redeem the loss.
As regards correspondence, I thought it was me who had dropped the ball. I keep walking past your letter and my card and blank stationery (yes, it is from way back – there’s no way I’m going out and purchasing a new card when I have zillions left over in my clutter awaiting the excuse for a purge). They are sitting on the top of the piano and every time I pass them, I feel a twinge of guilt. “I should carve out some time to write today,” I think daily, yet it never happens.
Be assured I have composed many brief letters to you in my brain as I go about my day, but instead I continued to focus on my mundane duties of life. Let me tell you, writing a letter is much preferred to cleaning up after boys!
What’s a “gay play?” I do think the loss of one sense would make one appreciate the others much more.
I guess it’s just my nature to assume I am the one who has dropped the ball. Okay then, I’ll let go of the guilt and patiently await your letter :)
Before I read the comments, I was voting for deafness. But then I read bluesleepy’s comment and realized I wouldn’t be able to hear my daughter play piano. Also, as a former musician, I resonate more with music than with visual art. And like Melissa, I do tend to walk around in the dark a lot (literally and figuratively). Even now I rely a lot on mental visual maps as well as sight.
So I’m going for blind.
Have you asked this question yet: Whom would you save from your burning house, your spouse or your child (or pet) and why? You can save only one person.
Hi SPG! No, I haven’t run across that one in the book and I don’t know that I could answer it. Obviously I’d have to choose one or the other, but I really feel in some instances we cannot know the answer to ‘What would I do’ until we are actually faced with the situation. So I’m going with that answer: I really cannot suppose with that one. I’ll have to wait for the flames.
Blind. Absolutely. There is no way I could survive without music. Square Peg Guy and me…we’ll just go blind and talk about all the rest of you behind your backs…’Cause you’ll probably learn to read lips soon enough.
(laughs) That would sort of suck, having people talk about me behind my back (or behind their hands).
Just because I write 3 page blog posts doesn’t mean I can’t comment with just a few words, LOL.
I know :) but at times your Spartan use of words amuses me. I like that in a commenter.
Definitely deaf. I really don’t think I could live in darkness.
I had to rethink that based on previous comments, but I’m still there with you on deaf. I would feel less out of control with my vision intact.
Ugh. Now I remember I owe you a letter!
Anyway, I’ve been hoping that, with every passing Friday Question, it wouldn’t be this one! I could never choose between sight and sound, seriously. I mean, realistically, life would have to change drastically for me to adapt to losing my sight. I wouldn’t be able to practice pharmacy anymore, that much is certain.
It’d probably be easier for me to deal with losing my hearing, but I can’t tell you how miserable my life would be without music. I wouldn’t last long, since music is like a failsafe form of therapy for me… I just wouldn’t do well at all without it =(
Boo to this question! Next! **HUGS!!**
I do love music also. I’m surprised you’d already thought of this one. Next time the question will not involve the senses :)
Blind definitely. Never to hear voices or music again would be utterly devastating. Although being blind would cause me to miss the expressions and nuances on people’s faces; blind people are not prejudiced based upon one’s appearance, beauty (or lack of) or skin color. How I would like to cultivate this ‘non-outward-judgmental-attitude’! (preferably without becoming blind to do so however!)
A blind guy I once knew put it this way:
“To me every woman is beautiful”
Certainly you are right about the role sight plays in judgment/racism. That would make an interesting short story, someone who used their sight as a weapon who goes blind and then is forced to appreciate things for what they are without being able to make such quick judgments. Without sight we are forced to see what’s inside the person, not such a bad thing when you think of it that way.
Deaf, because it’s much less scary.
Very succinct, and how I feel. But I suppose I feel it in a more verbose, run-on kind of way.
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