According to Jamie Lynn Spears, having a baby is a piece of cake
We all know that Jamie Lynn Spears had a baby recently, right?
She’s the 17-year-old star of Zoey 101 on Nickelodean, is not married and is the younger sister of Britney Spears. I think the fact that I know this information, means you all have heard it before. I tend to live under a rock and only hear the news everyone else has known for months.
I thought my own kids would have no idea this chick existed and wouldn’t know she was an unwed teenage mother-to-be. But Katie mentioned it this past winter, as she was brushing her teeth, “So and so from school said the teenage girl from Zoey 101 is pregnant.”
“Really?” I answered.
“Yeah. How old do you have to be to have a baby, Mom?”
“Um, usually a woman has a baby after she gets married and that’s usually around 22 or later.”
“But she’s a teenager!”
“I know. That doesn’t usually happen.”
So we got off that tangent, just barely, and haven’t talked about it again.
Fast forward to last week as I was standing in the grocery store, by myself, waiting to check out. I saw OK! Magazine on the stands with Jamie Lynn Spears and her baby on the cover. An exclusive, no less.
I’m not about to get into moral issues here.
My problem with this photo spread and the accompanying article is the message it sends to the entire female population who sees it. The editors of the magazine — and Jamie Lynn Spears — are glamorizing motherhood.
Inside the magazine is a four- to six-page spread with large glossy photos of Jamie Lynn smiling and holding the baby.
In one photo, the baby is asleep on a bouncy seat which is sitting on the granite counter top in a huge, gourmet kitchen. Jamie Lynn is standing next to the baby smiling as she holds a large coffee cup. The baby’s father, Casey Aldridge, is standing next to Jamie Lynn as he pours her a fresh cup of coffee.
I almost bought the magazine on principle so I could show you that photo. But I feel spending money on the magazine just fuels this sort of thing.
Impressionable women (and girls) who see this magazine are going to assume having a baby is easy. If magazines and movies keep sending the message that newborns and babies eat and sleep without crying, mothers who have no live-in nannies are going to think there’s something wrong with them as a parent. Or they’ll think there is something wrong with their baby because he or she actually cries.
I won’t even get into colicky babies.
Note to the potential mothers out there: It’s hard. The baby doesn’t sleep more than a couple of hours and then you have to feed him or her. You will not get regular sleep. You will become irritable. You will not lose all of the weight three weeks after delivery and wear full makeup. Having a baby is harder than Hollywood makes it look.
But Jamie Lynn is spouting things like, “Once I got in (the hospital), my doctor was just so calm and so good, it was not bad at all,” she says. “I was just talking to Casey. And you know what’s so weird? I was asking him if he was okay.”
The following statements are what really got my blood boiling.
“(The baby) is very good,” says Jamie Lynn. “She’ll feed every two or three hours. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, I’ll feed her and she goes right back to sleep. There’s no screaming and crying.“ (Emphasis added.)
The proud mama continues, “We get up in the morning, and she gets her little bath. Then I get my bath. We have a routine, and I love routines. I’ve worked one out with her, and we’re happy going about our little life.”
Now if this were a (reality) movie you would see her say that statement above about routines and then the movie would cut to the next morning when she’s holding the screaming baby and pacing back and forth.
Wearing pajamas, her hair would be askew, and dark circles would show under eyes. The father of the baby would be half-awake asking, “Can’t you do something to make the baby stop?”
And Jamie Lynn would be reasoning with the baby, “I thought we worked out a routine!”
Then the camera would pan to the OK! Magazine lying askew on a table nearby.
End scene with the camera closing in on the cover of the magazine, Jamie Lynn’s smiling face filling the screen while the baby wails in the background.
Yup, it’s a piece of cake.
I had no idea she was Zoey 101.
Skank.
Now, now Solomon. We all have skeletons in our closets. But wouldn’t that suck to be a teenage celebrity and have to put an upbeat positive spin on something like this? I think it would suck to be center stage while dealing with it.
I do have my fingers crossed that Hannah Montana (Miley Cyrus) will keep her shet together until she’s at least 22 (she’s 15 now). Because Katie and Allison are really into her and will know immediately if she does something like this.
::: shudder :::
I just LOVED Brooke Shields’ book “Down Came the Rain.” Post-partum depression made the birth of her first baby MUCH worse, but I think this is a better portrayal of motherhood… it’s REAL!
I never read her book, but I remember hearing her television interviews about that book. It all rang true to me. In fact I think I am going to look that up at the library today. Thanks for jogging my memory, Rebecca.
I am 22 and as much as I’d like a baby cos they are seriously cute they poop and puke and cost lots lol so I am waiting for a good few years (If possible I wanna be a SAHM till little Han/Chris goes to school if not a little longer so i can be there to pick up from school rather than having a childminder or a relative pick up.
For now I chase my friend’s kids round at church. There’s Princess C and Lambkin who are 6 – Nat has DS so she’s a handful lol and Fabster who is 2. One day I’ll be chasing Essie as well (she’s 11 weeks-ish so no running just yet!)
Motherhood is rewarding and it’s difficult. It sounds like you have some good first-hand experience with children, which is always a good thing. You’ll be better prepared when the time comes.
So is she just full of it, or is her baby really that easy? That is what I am trying to figure out!
When my 6 yr old saw a picture of her on some news story who said “Hey! That mommy looks just like Zoey!” Ugh. At least I didn’t have to get into with him since I don’t think he put it together.
I am with you on hoping Miley keeps it together. She certainly seems to have a more stable home life/ parents. (Well, I guess who really knows. It may look like that compared to the train wreck that is the Spears’ family!)
This just further proves to me it is very difficult to create a “normal” environment when your child is in the entertainment industry. That’s not to say maintaining a normal environment in suburbia is any easier. I just find it disappointing that these teens who are role models, whether they *want* to be or not, are redefining adolescence.
I’m wondering if she or the mag chose to frost her hair in an effort to look older!!
Yeah, I noticed that she seems more matronly in the pictures, as well. You know as “grown up” as a 17-year-old can look.
Oh, and I don’t have any problems with Jamie Lynn Spears agreeing to the photo shoot/article (or even soliciting a shoot/article). What mother doesn’t want to show off her new baby? My beef is with the magazine… a bastion of good journalism the magazine may not be… but do young girls (such as your daughters) really need to think being a teenage mother is a good thing?
I have an aunt who had a baby when she was 18. I was 8 when the baby was born. I thought my new cousin was SO COOL! I knew having a baby at 18 was (to my parents and to my grandmother and others) a VERY BAD THING, but I was dazzled by the whole thing.
So I know a bit of that which I speak.
It is a difficult situation, for sure. I applaud her for trying to make the best out of it. But I still agree that this is totally white washing pregnancy and delivery.
p.s. Just checked and my library has Brooke Shields’ book on the shelf. Guess what I’ll be reading tonight!
Damn right it’s hard. It’s hard having a baby as a Dad too. The thing with these celebrities is they can have the babies, and then pay people to do all the hard work with the kid. Then they can show up in a few months and everyone says “they look great!”
Meanwhile, most people with a newborn don’t look great and don’t have the time to look great. Nor do they have the money to pay people to look after their kids.
I feel the same way, strugglingwriter. I thought, because I was aware of it, that I would not get caught up in the hype when I had my first kid. But I compared myself to all of the celebrities who had babies around the time I did and forgot about the personal trainers, the night nannies, the personal chefs, etc.
And then I decided I wasn’t trying nearly hard enough because everywhere I looked (even up and down the street and at the local park!) mothers were keeping this secret. It’s as if it’s taboo to admit you have bad days as a parent. That it’s a struggle and some days you want to tear your hair out.
That is reality.
Just as there are moments that you could never explain of intense joy and happiness.
I cannot tell you how much our society’s obsession with the perfect mother disturbs me.
My mother was emotionally and verbally abusive, and it has only been in the last few years that anyone has believed me. The only school authority who believed me was the college guidance counseler who worked with my father and myself as my parents’ divorce went through and I tried desperately to get away from my mother. Even my “favorite” teachers were so enthralled to my mother’s volunteer work at school that I was chided for having issues.
Add to that a friend who had a difficult pregnancy and delivered her baby 11 weeks early – the baby is ok, if tiny, but this entire year has been incredibly tough for her.
I’m glad I’m not the only one out there who has a chip on her shoulder about how this has been handled and how our society just fawns over anyone who can whitewash a tough situation.
That’s a rough road you’ve walked Rebecca. I could write reams and reams about my own parents, but suffice to say I have the luggage to prove I’ve been on the trip.
Here’s wishing you well and hoping you will be able to learn from that experience to change your future. I’m attempting to do that now and it ain’t easy.
How true that having an infant is difficult… all the kids who read it would never believe it…
Amen to that beanie. I’ve seen a show here and there that gives teens a “pretend” baby that cries and has to be held and wakes up all hours of the night. Almost every teen, after 24 hours, decides it’s not worth it — as a teenager. Reality is such a different story and it seems almost impossible to teach that to a teenager.
Since the life-long consequences don’t occur until nine months later.
That whole spread makes me so mad, it’s not even funny. It isn’t even that Jamie Lynn is bragging about how perfect her baby is. I think she’s got no right to be flaunting her pregnancy and motherhood being just 17 years old. Watch Maury one day and see this girls who are 13, 14, 15 years old, WANTING to get pregnant because you know, it’s just that cool. And this just fuels the whole problem!!!!
I have to say, though, those perfect babies do exist. They’re rare, but they exist. Grace fussed for the first week or so of her life, mainly because she was actually starving since I didn’t have any milk. But I didn’t realize this until she had lost almost a pound and a half at her two-week appointment. Once I switched her to formula, she became a fat and happy baby. Kurt left on a deployment when she was 10 days old and didn’t return till she was 6 weeks, so I was all on my own all the way on the West Coast. But she really was the perfect baby. She slept through the night from day one. We got on a schedule almost immediately. She was content to lay in her swing and occupy herself. Also she LOVED being swaddled, so as long as she was wrapped, she was perfectly content. It was crazy.
You do realize that this means I’m in for it with this new baby?? I just know this one is going to be the most colicky hellion that has ever walked the planet. Wish me luck!!!
Good luck, blue! Although, now you have a much better idea of how to take care of an infant and maybe it won’t be as difficult. Plus Grace will love to help you change diapers.
I *have* seen those shows where 13-year-olds say they want a baby because they want someone who loves them unconditionally (just wait ’til the Terrible Twos) and because they want to dress the baby up. Um, get a lap dog if that’s what you’re looking for.
Jamie Lynn will learn soon enough. I know first hand about teenage pregnancy, and most assuredly how unglamorous and heartbreaking it is. I chose to give my son up for adoption, because I knew I would be shortchanging both of us by keeping him.
Even in the best of circumstances, having a baby and raising a child is about as tough as it gets. Hopefully she won’t be fooled into believing her own PR as her sister apparently has been, and she can hunker down and give baby Maddie the good parenting she’ll need.
Amen to that. Wow Elle, I had no idea. Being a parent now, I have a better understand of how wrenching it must be to give a baby up for adoption. In a black and white world the choice seems relatively easy — you both would have better lives over all if you chose adoption.
But the shades of gray that actually make up life make this such a difficult situation. I really do feel adoption (from the perspective of birth parents and adoptive parents) is one of the greatest gifts a person can give.
Hi C-Girl,
I’m not really into all the childhood stars that much — but have followed this situation with Jamie Lyn a bit.
I have sort of mixed feelings. Obviously, getting pregnant unmarried at the age of 17 – BIG mistake. I’ve been told that the real “pros” never get pregnant and it’s the “nice girls” who don’t “know the ropes” who end up getting pregnant. Be that as it may, it’s not a good situation “babies having babies, etc” for her pregnancy.
I give her some respect, however, for having the baby rather than taking the easy way out with an abortion. That showed me, at least, some willingness to accept responsibility and hopefully a commitment to being a good mom – even at such a young age. Anyway, we can always hope.
Now as far as telling everybody how easy it is to have a baby (not that, as a guy, I would know anything about what a woman goes through) I would tend to agree with you. It’s probably a really bad message to send to young girls – and young kids in general since, for every pregnancy there has to be a father – at least for one night.
My two cents worth anyway.
Agreed Don. You bring up a good point, it is frustrating that society tends to focus solely on the mother. It takes two to create a baby. And yet the burden seems to lie on the mother when a pregnancy occurs. I will be interested to see if the father of this particular baby sticks around.
In the article, he was referred to as her “fiancé.”
One thumb up on taking responsibility. One thumb down on white washing it.
You KNOW that as soon as Jamie Lynn said that, all hell broke loose. You know colic doesn’t usually start until the baby is 3 weeks old, anyway. The scenario you thought of? TOTALLY happened, I bet you a million bucks. Makes you feel bad for her a little. She’s so naive.
And CG, really, I don’t think there are that many people who get their ideas of what motherhood is like from OK magazine.
And my best friend had her first child at 17.
Her daughter is about to turn 18, and start college at UT. My cousin had her first child at 16. Her daughter is ahead of her entire class in high school, and is already taking college classes. Both kids are incredibly focused on education and are terrifically responsible (not to mention sweet as can be)–more so than their peers.
So there are teens out there who make the choice to be irresponsible–but then surprise us all by becoming responsible and being really terrific parents.
Not that ANY of those women mentioned would advocate teen parenting–!!!
I’m sure for every story like this one (Spears) there is another story to balance it — like your friends who raised responsible, caring young adults.
I do believe that society in general (books, movies, television and magazines) portray motherhood and parenthood to be a fun adventure and very rarely do they focus on the normal aspect of parenting — that it can be relentless and that part is *normal* too.
I LOVE IT PERFECT it would be just like that,,,,, Sorry been a while I will catch up. AND wouldn’t it be nice if ALL teen parents moved out of their parents homes too with the grandparent just showing up for a visit. ok I am off of this.
Thanks for the encouragement, I will keep it in mind. Hope your enjoying the nice green there.
Yes, it would be wonderful if all teens could afford a new multi-million dollar house so the parents of the teens (the grandparents) could just visit and let the nanny take care of raising the baby.
Um, yeah. I saw that on my DVR Ticker last week.
It’s VERY IRRESPONSIBLE. Freaking idiot. Spears AND the editors of OK magazine are stupid.
But I already have a headache and I don’t want my blood pressure to go up so I’m ending this comment here!
I figured most of the parents out there would be in agreement with me. No need for me to spell it all out.
Just posted a little support piece re: Jamie Lynn and her “perfect” baby, check it out when you get a chance.
Will do, Elle. I’m on my way over as I type…
Ugh. Those glossy mags always do this. No famous person is ever represented as having a normal – never mind difficult – baby. It just reinforces the (utterly wrong) idea that it’s a woman’s own fault when her baby cries, needs feeding every 2hrs etc.
I’m still spending rather a lot of time fantasising about getting pregnant and giving up my job, though…
It will be fun, for the most part, when you get pregnant and have a baby. But I think you realize it is normal to have some days that are more difficult than others. And also, it is normal that other mothers around you will say that they just love being home and never get frustrated.
That’s the piece that drove me insane. The mothers up and down my block (!) would not admit that it was difficult. Um, they don’t take your baby away if you mention that you are extra tired and irritable because the baby was up eating and crying all night. Grrr!
Sorry, Guilty, this is seriously all about me. It sounds like you have family around to help you out and I know you’ll do great when the time comes.
An aside: I mailed my cards to you TODAY! Just an hour ago, actually. They should arrive in about 10 business days. How exciting! Thanks again!
yup it’s a nice routine and then baby goes and throws up in your hair right before a photo shoot. Right, right.
Well, the baby would throw up in the *nanny’s* hair right before the photo shoot and Jamie Lynn would probably say, “Ewwwwww.” Then they’d clean the baby, set her up and quickly shoot has JL said through clenched teeth, “Hurry up!”
I’m being mean. I am.
I just laughed when I saw the picture of them in the kitchen. Then I think the next words out of my mouth to my husband were “that is SOO staged”. Really, come on. If I had a camera crew, make up crew, and wardrobe crew I would take some damn good photos as well. But, reality is I don’t.
Her reality is so skewed. By the way, I didn’t purchase the magazine, my neighbor has a subscription to it so I saw it at her house. I wouldn’t spend the money on it. They need to do a follow up article, which they won’t, but they need to on how unglamorous parenting is. It has it joys but it also has it’s miseries as that is what life is.
1. I like that the magazine came from your neighbor’s subscription.
2. I thought *exactly* the same thing. Could not have been *more* staged if they tried.
3. I do wish the media would give a more accurate representation of parenting. I guess that’s what blogs are for :)
I’m not commenting on this. It would be a novel!
I AM saying thanks for the notes! Some sun would be most welcome. Tomorrow is the funeral, and I’ll update after that. I am focusing on getting through it, and then dealing.
I also weigh in tomorrow. Ought to be interesting after a weekend of stress! ;)
You’re welcome, Anne. Good luck and thanks for popping in.
I’m 42 and think I’m still too young and immature to have a child. What does that tell you? Wait. Don’t answer that.
My God. 17 years old and a mother. Cannot fathom it, rich or not. I agree with you that mag rags that glorify having a baby are ridiculous. But they’ll make a buck and that’s all that matters to them. It’s the American way.
Amen sister — I *still* feel that way at 40, but somehow I have these three kids. Yes, it is a shame that the magazines make it look so appealing. I really looked at that and wondered where the Editor’s head was at. I mean, seriously.
I am a parent of a 16 yr old and I am outraged! Shame on this mag for putting JL on the cover! having a baby at 17 is NOTHING to be proud of! It is obviously not in the best interest of a child to be robbed of a father, a two-parent home, and a committed relationship which would give the child the security and role-modeling he/she needs for a loving, secure marital future.The baby should have been placed for adoption to a family that can meet her needs. Teens simply DONT make good parents and statistics prove this!
I agree that she has an uphill battle. Statistically speaking, it’s not looking good. I do believe, if she goes back to work full-time (acting) she will most likely hire a nanny who will actually take care of the child. So she probably won’t fall into that statistical category.
But in my opinion, that’s still a lack of reality. How many women do you know who have a nanny doing all of the dirty work? It’s a shame.
Oh dear God, that whole thing makes me sick. And all this “I don’t have nannies” shit that everyone says…Yeah. Sure.
And WTF is up with Jamie’s hair? She looks like she’s 35. Maybe that was the point?
I do agree that they did something to her hair and clothes to portray an older image. Someone else noted that and I have to agree. I have such a hard time believing any celebrity who says they do not have a nanny. And don’t you wonder why the paparazzi and the editors choose to show photos of celebs at the park with the kids and then crop out the nanny?
I find it very hard to believe that most celebrities who are out with small children are out just with their kids.
p.s. I read a couple of months ago that Katie Holmes does not take Suri out in public anymore because she just hit the Terrible Twos and is cranky and fussy now. Go figure. No more shopping at Barney’s for you, little miss with your tantrums.
I guess I got lucky – my son slept well since he was born, ate well, played well…he’s 6 months old and motherhood hasn’t exactly been a breeze, but it’s been pretty easy. =) The hardest part is letting him grow up!
Continued good luck to you, Lynn. Definitely each baby has his or her own personality and some are “smoother” than others. I have one smooth one and two feisty ones.
I’m just saying that every mother gets tired and cranky and to publicly insist that your baby never cries and that you sleep very soundly is doing a disservice to the majority of mothers out there who have no outside help.
@Brenda – I have to disagree. Jamie Lynn has the money and resources to be a wonderful parent and her age should not condemn her to be a bad mother. Teenage parenthood is not ideal, but many teenagers are better parents than many adults.
I think time will tell. It *is* a sweeping judgment to say she will not be a good parent. I do believe she could have been a better-equipped/better-educated parent had she waited a little longer.
I 100% agree with what your saying Cardiogirl. I do not understand why the media insists on glamorizing things celebrities do just because they are celebrities.
I wish nothing but the best for Jamie Lynn Spears and I hope that she is a good mother. However, being 17 and having a baby is not the easiest way to go about things and it worries me that other teen girls are getting the image that motherhood is easy.
My sister is 14 and I don’t want her thinking if she gets pregnant in high school that it will be a cake walk.
With her particular case — she’s not your typical teenager going to high school. She will not be shunned by her classmates, she will not fall behind in her homework (because she can afford a tutor). She doesn’t have the same consequences that normal non-celebrity teens have.
It would have been nice to have a companion piece to that article — a day in the life of Janice Smith, an unwed, new teen mother in Cincinnati, OH.
I agree with Lynn that some teenagers are better parents than adults. But I do think also that glamorizing motherhood for such a young mom does indeed send the wrong message.
When I was in high school and pregnant all the girls thought it was so cute but never thought about the reality of it all. The money it would take, the time, the patience and most of all whether or not the person you made that child with is really reliable, and was it just another teenage relationship that would end?
In my case I was and am I think a better mom that mine was, though I’m nowhere near perfect and he really could have had it much better in life (MouthyBoy). Money makes life a lot easier, no matter what movie stars say. I don’t have anyone beating my door down for pictures of my kid. ;)
Wow, MG. I have to quickly say MouthyBoy sounds so wrong. But to the point, I do think teens can’t really grasp the reality of something like that. I think they are not philosophically ready in their judgment skills. Do you know what I mean? I don’t mean biologically, I mean philosophically.
Yes, biologically teen girls are able to get pregnant and have a baby. But philosophically I think it is beyond *most* teens to really consider the consequences and how they will cope. Certainly there are exceptions. Sounds like you were one of the exceptions.
Oh…and you had to push it!! Its mandatory! I even do it once in awhile…especially if Storm is over my shoulder, because she reads every one and finds it hilarious!
I did think the blog would explode. But I pushed it. Again and again. Because I *did* want to.
Great post… my first time here but I enjoyed reading your blog today. I too think maybe we need a little more accurate portrayal to just how hard motherhood can be. Maybe we need to check back with Jamie Lynn in a few weeks. My first born sweet dd screamed for much of her first year, there were times I thought I would go insane.
Yes, I like that idea of a follow-up with JL. (Every time I see JL, I think of JLo, who also had a baby — twins. Just read in line that she is dissatisfied with her body, even though she only had TWINS a couple of months ago. Again, unrealistic expectations. That she would have her body back a few months after DELIVERING TWINS!
By the way, she was wearing a bikini, and she looked great for someone who had twins.
Yep, my first born sweet ES screamed for much of his first year, as well. Finally, he had tubes put in his ears and became a different baby. But, boy was that first year anything but a cake walk!
MS was a wonderful sleeper and eater, but still, no cake walk. And YS, well, by then there were 3 kids to deal with and it seemed like chaos reigned for his whole first year! Plus, every stage of parenting seems to be fraught with new challenges and obstacles, so it will continue to be an up-hill battle. Delicious and not without its rewards, but not easy!
Amen to that, Wendy!
Ugh… that article makes my blood boil as well. See, it’s crap like this that gets hords of teenage girls to do something as stupid as that “pregnancy pact” that was in the news a few weeks ago.
Girls think it’s FUN to have a baby… before they can be even close to financially and emotionally ready for such an undertaking. The best birth control my mother ever subjected me to was taking care of Justin and Jonathan through their infant-toddler years. Heck, and now she wants to know why I’m not keen on giving her grandkids any time soon! **HUGS!!**
I have had that thought about you running around in the back of my head, just because I knew you had to take care of your younger brothers … how shall I say … in an intense, involved way. That would be an interesting statistic, to see how many of these girls who had teenage pregnancies had younger siblings that they had to take care of. I bet there wouldn’t be too many.
Waves Cardio…I am so mad about this on so many levels. First I was mad when I heard the story initially because everyone acted as though a teenager getting pregnant at 16 was the norm. No one seemed to say what the heck is up with the parenting. Judging by her sister we can see that scruples are not a plenty in the family.
Now I am infuriated. Why when under privileged children have children are their homes and lives exploited and looked at as the black eye of our society but when a “star” does the same thing it’s rewarded with magazine covers? I am so confused and on a soapbox this afternoon. Ignore me!
I hear that! It’s a double standard, they are definitely trying to “look on the bright side” and it certainly sends a message to the young girls out there that this sort of thing is easy.
I suppose it comes down to parenting and involvement with your children. But even that is not a guarantee. Sometimes I do stress out mightily over having three girls. I just don’t want to be a grandmother when my daughter (any one of them) is 16.
I really haven’t followed her “story,” but I’m wondering if she has a nanny. Nothing like a live-in nanny to make life with baby a helluva lot easier.
I’d like to conduct that experiment myself. Have a live-in nanny (expenses paid by someone else) and then decide if life is easier with the nanny or without.