The book of questions, Volume 51
Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts.
Today’s question comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
And here it is, Question 187.
In a nice restaurant, after getting the check for an excellent meal, you notice that you were not charged for one of the items you ate. Would you tell the waiter/waitress?
Yes sir, I don’t even have to contemplate it. My (guilty) conscience would not let me walk out the door without paying, even if it was a soft drink that cost $2.00 — because nowadays you can’t get a soft drink anywhere for less than $2.00 even though it probably costs the restaurant 28 cents.
Now you might be scratching your head saying, “But Cardiogirl, you have told us ad nauseam what a cheapskate you are. Wouldn’t you take the free item as a gift and be glad?”
On the surface it might look that way. I will make a penny scream and then laugh in its face, that’s true and I stand by that statement.
But I need to be in charge of the purchase; I need to know I was going to spend that money in the first place. In this scenario, I ordered that deep fried, 2,000-calorie appetizer which means I chose to pay for that item. By the way, aren’t those artery-clogging appetizers the best?
And before you suggest that the food was somehow offered without me ordering it, I would have told the waiter as soon as the platter hit the table. “Excuse me gingah, I did not order deep fried mushrooms.” So there.
I believe the following story will further illustrate my point. Back when I had two kids I took Katie and Allison grocery shopping with me. It was a big shopping trip with a full cart. Katie was four, Allison was a year old and sitting in the seat in the front of the cart.
We went through the check out, I paid and we trudged out to the car. When I lifted Allison out of the seat I saw a bag of raisins that we did not pay for. I did think about if for 15 or 20 seconds as I held her on my hip and Katie hopped in the car. And I knew my conscience would eat at me so I put her back in the cart and we made our way back into the store to the front desk.
I told the woman what happened and that I still wanted them. She was surprised but rang it up and I walked out feeling much better. I have no idea why I live with such a guilty conscience. I’m sure it has to do with my black and white view of the world.
But we can get into that on another day. Let’s get back to the question — would you pay?
Yes, I’d notify someone.
A free gift is only free if it’s given, as opposed to taken, which is stealing.
Re the raisins, I don’t think that that’s a guilty conscience. It’s just an honest one. Which is a good thing, really.
There you go, Solomon, an amended Golden Rule: A free gift is only free if it’s given, as opposed to taken, which is stealing.
I like the re-packaging of my raisin dilemma!
Yes, I would pay. For all the same reasons. Surprise. :-)
My mom is the same. She was once handed too much change in the grocery store. She told the cashier she’d made a mistake, and the cashier told her: “*I* do not make mistakes.” Shetbag changed her mind when my mom told her in whose favour the “mistake” was(n’t), though…
I would expect nothing less from my Wonder Twin.
Well look at Shetbag’s ego (I like using that as one would use Girlfriend, as in, “Girlfriend changed her mind…) And I’ll bet she kept her self-righteous attitude as she took the money back, didn’t she?
Yeah, I would tell them and pay. Happened recently. The waiter forgot to put the two beers we had on the bill. I noticed and corrected it.
HOWEVER….
If the service and food totally sucked, and they screwed up the bill, I might not pay at all. What I usually do, in those situations, is leave a 1 or 2 cent tip :)
I hope you’re joking. If not, then that server, incompetent or not, paid to wait on you.
Really? You pay for bad service – do you pay for a broken product too?
I was at a restaurant where we ordered table d’hote. The appetizers came AFTER the dessert, the food was cold, no one in the section we were in got drinks (except water), and one couples’ meals were so over-cooked, they couldn’t eat it at all. We sent the appetizers back and asked to see the menu – from which we calculated our own amount owing based on what was edible and what we actually received.
Three tables in our section, including ours, got the bills at the same time, and in each case the drinks, which we had never received, were included. All of us wrote the amount we determined we owed…that one couple whose main course was inedible only paid for their appetizers and desserts. We only paid for what our main courses would have cost and desserts. All three tables left a tip of a couple of cents.
When the waiter saw what we had done, he angrily told us he was going to talk to the manager/owner. We followed. The owner was engaged in conversation with what looked like a large group of VIP-types sitting at a table laden with…drinks and food. When the waiter pulled the owner aside, and told him what was happening, the owner motion for us to follow him. Instead, I told him, very loudly, that this was easily the worst restaurant in which we had ever eaten, that the service was terrible to the point of being non-existent, and that we didn’t even get what we ordered and for which got billed. I then went on to state that I had been to many East Indian restaurants, and this was by far, the blandest, and that anyone who thought this was good food had no concept of what constituted “good food”. The party of VIP-types took all of this in and I could see a few of them poke at the meals in agreement. We then all walked out.
Now…like anything else, if you buy something that doesn’t work, you expect to be able to return it for a full refund. My “meal” didn’t work – and even then, I did pay for what I ate (which was bland) anyways…but would be damned if I gave them a tip.
We’ve all had crappy dining experiences and it was unfortunate that server was not there to help you understand the kitchen obviously sucks at that restaurant, because anything having to do with food is rarely the server’s fault.
Now, the CG empire is a happy place, but I’m just telling you most servers have to tip out 2-5% of their food sales. Hence you not tipping, means he paid that crappy restaurant for you to be there. Who wins in that situation? The crappy restaurant. And it’s a good thing you didn’t go back, because a customer that stiffs a server will never be forgotten. It would have been better if you had just gotten up and left.
@Steve Wow, that is a terrible dining experience but I’m certain I would have paid and then never returned. Ever.
While I do agree that you can and should be able to return an item that does not work, I think food is exempt from that. Just my opinion.
@Liz I’m guessing you’ve worked as a waitress.
Bingo.
If the waiter had even bothered to show up, let alone tell us that they were having issues in the kitchen, that’s one thing. But are you actually suggesting that there is NO situation in which you would not tip? None at all?
My initial reaction was that I wouldn’t tell them. Then I thought a bit.
If they missed my entire entree, I would tell them for sure.
If it was a $2 dessert or my drink, I doubt I would tell them. There are certain circumstances that would affect my decision.
How long did I have to wait for my bill? Is the place busy and would take 20 minutes for the waiter to get a new bill, bring it back, and then accept my money? Well, the restaurant can just eat that cost.
It’s interesting to see everyone’s logic on this question. I think if it was super busy, I would take the bill right to the hostess and explain the situation.
But maybe that would still take 20 minutes to get the corrected bill.
We have done this before, walked out without paying for something at a restaurant. But it was after we were already on our way home, and it was something cheap like a soda, not an entree. I really don’t feel badly about not paying for a soda; restaurants have such a huge margin on soda, and it bothers me so much that we rarely buy soda when we eat out. I cannot see how a bottomless glass of soda should be $2.79!
There have been times that we’ll be at Walmart on our way out, and I’ll notice that I’d stuck something in the cart under a coat or (when ME was still in the infant carrier) under ME, and I always went back to purchase said item, even though no one would know about it but me. Kurt makes fun of me when I do that. He’s got a streak of hoodlum-ism to him.
I’ve had that same thought — that frequently a 2-liter of pop costs $1.19 and yet I’d never be able to drink enough pop at the restaurant to get my money’s worth.
So Kurt’s a hooligan, eh?
i’d fess up, i do it now when the **** ****** give me the wrong change. i correct them.
i like solomon’s reasoning too.
now if i got 4 cookies instead of three, i might just haul ***!
sorry for the ****s but my other personality is out and making comments today.
and had that been me that walked out the store with raisins, you know my *** would have been booked.
(laughs) Oh Natural you crack me up with your cookies.
You need a mood indicator with different types of cookies — Chocolate Chip, Peanut Butter, Snickerdoodles, Oatmeal Raisin (which must indicate a bad day, since those suck), Monster Cookies, etc.
I would say something. This happened to me the other day, actually. I figure the karma comes around in another way…eventually.
Man I am right there with you on the karma, Poolie. Sometimes karma is what makes my decision for me.
I would say something.
And as miserly as I am, there is no other time I feel more generous than with a good waiter or waitress. Because I had to do that job in college & I know how hard it is, how tiring & stressful it is.
So if I brought it up & the waiter said, “don’t worry about it” (this has happened) I would add it to the tip.
One dollar extra is really good karma. And helps make up for that guy who drinks 15 glasses of iced tea then leaves a paltry tip, or that guy who puts your tip on the table in dimes BEFORE the meal & removes one for every second he needs something & you’re not already standing there. Or that hormonal girl who thought your friendly smile was a come-on to her pimply boyfriend and stiffed you completely. Or those oh-so-Christian still-dressed-up Sunday lunchgoers who let their kids throw food & who scream at you & who forget the tip completely and forever change your viewpoint on Christianity in general (though you are one yourself). That one extra dollar can make up for a lot.
Word.
Very true!! I waited tables for a few months in college and sucked at it. As a result, I’m now a very good tipper. Even if the waiter totally sucked, I will give 10 – 15%, since their pay scale is based on that. Otherwise they are losing money like Liz pointed out. In addition, problems with the food, etc are often not the waitperson’s fault but the kitchen’s. The waitperson shouldn’t have to pay the price for something they cannot control. However, I may say something to the manager depending on the situation.
Oh I am all about giving a waitress a great tip. I tip usually 20%, though if the service is really bad I’ll only tip 10-15%. I was in a very awkward situation once in which the folks we were with (and who picked up a VERY expensive tab, and who had asked for a bunch of special orders) refused to leave a tip. They “do not believe in it,” you see. The waiter stopped us on our way out and asked if there was something wrong with his service (which is how we found out that he’d left NOTHING), and Kurt was so upset that he slipped back to the table and left a $10. He would have left more, but that was all the cash we had. I felt so badly for that server.
My sister always, always, always gets crappy service, and if you ask me, it’s because she comes across as rather smarmy. She has all sorts of dietary requirements, and she thinks she’s coming across as easygoing when really, she’s taking up all sorts of time and slowing the waitress down. And she’s got no compunction about asking for more things every time the waitress passes by — like she’s the only customer that waitress has. No wonder the waitresses tend to disappear! :o)
We used to have that problem with my grandfather. He would leave a tip but it was only a few dollars. One of us would usually find some excuse to sneak back to the table or to be the last to leave the table so we could add some money.
@Wendy and Liz Damn sister, I have never waited tables but have always imagined it was not a fun job. I didn’t realize how many, uh, colorful characters come in with all of their issues.
@blue Ouch. That would be so very embarrassing. I would have done exactly the same thing. Oy.
@Buf I guess this is a classic case of don’t shoot the messenger (regarding the kitchen’s mess up).
I am sickeningly honest and would mention it to the waiter. I will also mention any under-charging whenever making any kind of purchase. I did it just the other week when the popcorn server at the movies missed charging me for snack. AND if someone (who doesn’t own the joint or is in management there) trys to slip me a freebee – I won’t take it. It’s basically stealing, and I could never get a good nights sleep again.
I’m with you, LJ — until offered a freebie.
I do believe the person offering it has the authority to give it away (right or wrong, that’s my personal code) and then I feel special all day long because I got something for free.
As long as the understanding that any said item was for free give-away, and not an employee just being free with a product, and unbeknown to the management. Know what I mean?
Yes ma’am. I know exactly what you mean.
Y’all are all way more honest than I am. WAY more. If it doesn’t hurt the server, then yeah, I’ll just make sure to tip accordingly. I’ve never purposefully shoplifted, but when I have forgotten to pay for things (under the coat thing), I am not going all the way back into the store to pay for it.
I do correct cashiers with change or dealers with chips because that’s the employee’s ass. If the second largest hotel in the world (MGM Grand) for example, made a mistake on my bill, I ain’t losin any sleep over it. I’m clicking checking out on the remote and heading to the airport.
(laughs over the MGM Grand example)
There are definitely shades of gray all over this question, but I’m sure I would still ‘fess up of all of those things. I do have to say, I was surprised initially by your answer until you said
If it doesn’t hurt the server, then yeah, I’ll just make sure to tip accordingly.
Geez, reading everyone’s virtuous responses makes me feel like a dirtbag! I guess, in the scenario described, I would say something IF it was a large item… like an entree or the dessert. But if it was my iced tea or something, I probably wouldn’t say anything. For the record, I always tip 25% for excellent service.
I’ve had it happen at the store where something in my cart gets missed and I get home, look over my receipt, and find I got away with 3 bucks worth of groceries or something. I’m not going to drive all the way back to the market for them to charge me. I figure it evens out to the more frequent times that I will hand over a $1 off coupon and the $1 does not get subtracted from my purchases. I get home, look over my receipt, and find that my $1 deduction is nowhere to be found nor do I still have said coupon to use on another trip.
The last time that happened (last week), it was a $3 cat food coupon and I was extremely sad all day to know I’d been cheated out of 3 bucks. **HUGS!!**
You’re not a dirtbag, Chris, but I haven’t heard that phrase in a long time and I did relish the trip down memory lane. And before I go any further, look how cute you are in your gravatar! Very flattering photo.
I’m positive I’ve been on the receiving end of a mistake like you’ve mentioned (items under $10) but for some reason I don’t feel as bad about it as I do when I’m the one making the mistake.
However, over $10 — when I’m the one losing out — will make me jump in the car after the fact to talk to the manager.
Aww, thanks for the compliment, C-girl! I thought I’d give Amy a rest and go with my real likeness, even though it ruins my online anonymity. **HUGS!!**
Generally if I notice it, I will say something. Small discrepancies (either positive or negative) may get over looked if I’ve already left or if it would take longer to resolve the problem than it is worth. If there was a major discrepancy (either way), I would probably go back or at least call the place to tell them and try to resolve it. The amount I consider major would depend how far I am away and the amount of time/hassle involved. I should admit that I very rarely notice such things. I get annoyed dealing with bills and receipts.
So my basic approach is if the total seems to be in the right range, I just pay it. However, I will review a bill in more detail if I expect a problem (e.g., I ordered a salad or dessert that I never got or I added something to my purchase that I think the checker might have missed).
That’s a good approach, Buf.
Strangely enough I’m realizing, after reading these comments, that we rarely go out to a restaurant that requires a waiter/waitress. I guess this is an issue I don’t have to worry about.
Yah, I’m payin’ up too! I’m guessing it is because I would want someone to do the same, if I were the person mistakenly not getting the fair shake.
But, having said that, I am reminded of an incident which happened a while back. I had gone to a garage sale and purchased a winter coat for my son for $5. A few days later, I went to wash the coat and found $3 in the pocket. It did cross my mind to take the money back to the garage sale location, however, I remember the woman saying that the coat had been her grandson’s (they had given her a bunch of stuff to add to her sale). I guess sometimes it does really rely on how much trouble and inconvenience it requires to rectify a situation. In this case, I merely figured that, by the end of the day, I could have haggled her down to $2 for the coat, anyway (which is what I ended up paying, given the $3 unexpected treasure).
Also, Natural, you made me laugh! – “sorry for the ****s but my other personality is out and making comments today.”
wendy i try not to let her out because she has no home training but she knows the way to cardiogirl’s blog about as well as i do….so she is allowed to use *******s from time to time. :)
@Wendy I can see now that I do allow shades of gray even though I thought I was solid across the board. Regarding the garage sale, there’s no way I would track down that house again to return the money. Especially if I didn’t know that person.
@All Natural Woman I love all of your personalities (especially Cherri Thang — that one is stellar!)
OK – here’s the deal. I have gone through the cashier line at my office cafeteria and been given back a $10 instead of a $1 and held up the long line for several minutes to convince the cashier that she had in fact paid me to eat my lunch. But I have also gone out to eat, decided to buy t-shirt with the place’s logo on it, and been told to tell my server to add it to the tab. Which I did. And then, upon receipt of the tab the t-shirt wasn’t on there and I didn’t tell a soul. Walked right out of there with my free t-shirt because they didn’t add the grilled onions I paid extra for but didn’t get. But I left a great tip because other than the missing onions the service was pretty awesome. So I’m not sure if that makes me honest or dishonest. But the establishment gets lots of advertising for free everytime I wear their t-shirt so I’m thinking it evens itself out.
Um, I was heading toward not evening out, Bumbles. Until you threw in the free advertising angle and then I was sold :)
No chance. I would pretend not to notice whether it was a $2 soft drink or a full bottle of Champagne. Their mistake, their problem.
I’m amazed how honest everyone is!
Yes, you go, girl!!
Well, well, look at you owning that bad boy right down to the penny! I admire your forthright answer.
I would pay, no questions asked if a waiter forgot something on the bill. My hubby works in a restaurant and I’ve had way too many friends waiting tables so I know that if it’s caught at the end of the night, the server pays for the missing item. Now if it’s a bartender who hands over the bill with a wink, then I know s/he picked up a drink or a round. No problems then!
I never realized that the server has to make up the difference. That does reinforce my answer, but as you know I’d pay it regardless. I guess I assumed that uncharged item would have gotten lost in the day’s business. And I’ve never, ever had a bartender pay for my drink. How do you make that happen?
I tip unless the service is super crappy. In those cases I will make sure they know I’m not happy. As far as items they forgot to charge for, It really shouldn’t make any difference but if it is a chain restaurant I have a lot harder feeling sympathy for them and I would be tempted to steal by inaction. If it is a mom and pop restaurant, never.
I like that phrase, Tim — stealing by inaction. It reminds me of lying by omission.
Funny you mention mom and pop restaurants. I don’t think I’ve eaten in one of those in years. I can’t even think of one nearby. I guess that’s a dying breed, eh?
Yeah it is, and the sad thing is when I see one it is usually empty because it is next to one of those nation wide joints. Then I’m almost a little scared to go in because I’ll be the only customer.
That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when Jerry ate at the Pakistani restaurant owned by Babu. It didn’t do well and Jerry and Kramer were the only customers.
No I wouldn’t tell. I view something like that as a Gift from the Universe. It’s not polite to refuse a gift, even from your Aunt Marge. It’s Bad to be dissing the Universe by refusing Her gift.
However, I would base the tip on the full amount.
Well that’s an interesting take on it, SPG. It sounds like a win-win when you put it that way — you received a gift and the waiter received his whole tip.