The book of questions, Volume 49
Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts.
Today’s question comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
And here it is, Question 176.
Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say?
Sometimes. It depends on who I’m calling.
Family and friends? No, I’m wingin’ it. A business call? Yes, most of the time.
And while we’re on the phone here, let’s take a minute to talk about phone etiquette, eh? This is how your phone conversation should go 95%* of the time.
Phone rings, person one answers.
Person One: Hello?
You: Hello, this is (insert your name here, in today’s example we will use moi) Cardiogirl Smith I’m calling for Eugene Krabs.
Person One: I think you have the wrong number.
You: I’m so sorry; thank you for your time.
Aaaand scene.
*Of course there are always exceptions to the rule. There are two variations of that script based on who you are calling.
Variation One: If you are calling a co-worker at home and his or her spouse answers you need to say, “Hello, this is Cardiogirl Smith from ABC Corporation, I’m calling for Alvin Chipmunk.”
Because if you don’t identify yourself to the same sex person on the phone, she’s going to hear:
“I’m a woman you don’t know calling for your husband/significant other and if I didn’t tell you that we work for the same company you might go apeshit on your husband after this call thinking there’s some funny business going on outside of your house.” Or something. Um, individual results may vary.
Variation Two: If you grew up with the other person or you know that person very, very well — like your spouse, a significant other or a long time friend — you can go with, “Hey, it’s me.”
So there you go. That’s the closest I’ve ever come to answering yes or no — with a long, long side note. Thanks for shopping at the Cardiogirl Empire, your receipt is in the bag.
I rehearse every single conversation that I can. I even go back over conversations I had years ago, and have them again. In my mind, anyway. I’m somewhat neurotic about it.
Happy 4th of July! :)
Ok, so I think the appropriate salutation today is “happy fourth!” Will one of you darling USA-ians let me know how I did?
I’m something of a rehearser, although not as bad as I used to be. Man, I used to rehearse most conversations, not just telephone ones.
Spot-on, my dear! “Happy fourth!” is quite appropriate =) **HUGS!!**
if i’m calling someone i have never called before and i need specifics, i do think about what i need to say because um, it’s like and uh gets on my nerves. i don’t like for people to think on the phone with me on the other end- know what the heck you want before you call please. so i try to do the same thing.
i do the hey it’s me too – remember that on seinfeld? jerry’s girlfriend was doing the hey it’s me waaay too soon. usually if people hear a faint sound on the other end of the phone, they will scream, val. i’m the only person no one can hear but dogs.
i hate the phone, btw.
enjoy cg, i won’t even ask because i already know the answer….hehehehe
I don’t worry much about the phone these days – since nobody ever calls and I rarely am responsible for handling any important calls (however, sometimes those workmen make me want to use a tape recorder – they spiel off whatever is wrong and six hours … of chaos … later, I’m supposed to remember verbatim what the guy said about our water system, etc).
Yet, I do remember my most frustrating job. I worked as a temp for the Claims Management Department at the University of Illinois for a few months. It was basically a legal secretary position, but because of the confidentiality of clients, I was not allowed to answer any questions. “Here, answer the phone and deal with customers, but you cannot help any of them. Period.”
It was an endless litany of … “I’ll pass this information on to my supervisor and she will have to return your call. No, I’m sorry. I can’t look in your file to see when the last check was sent. No, I can’t help you …” ad nauseum.
Plus, I had to “look busy” while I couldn’t handle anything significant besides putting files away. Thankfully, I had interesting people to work with and managed to get a lot of my wedding preparations done while at work.
To Cardiogirl and all her peeps, hope you have a great weekend.
I rehearse most conversations with people I don’t know. I get unduly, yet unvisibly nervous. Presentations or before interviews? My mind doesn’t stop.
My story on really iffy phone etiquette was when I was dating this guy named Dustin and his roommate was also named Dustin. It was always awkward.
Nervous me: Hi, is Dustin there?
Dustin2: Uh…. which one?
Me: McBoogerfus
D2: Oh, hold on…
NM: Hi, may I speak to Dustin please?
D1: Is this Liz?
NM: Yeah
D1: Hey, it’s me
Even after I learned to tell them apart, I still had to repeat conversation one because I never knew how to tell D2 that I wanted to talk to the other Dustin. It was always weird. And I just thought, why wasn’t I calling his phone? Cell phones were not ubiquitous tenish years ago, forgot all about that. I think he even had a pager, now I’m just amused.
And I used to be nice to wrong number people, but apparently my current cell phone belonged to a drug dealer type person and I get some really strange calls these days.
My restaurant work may have been the worst because my thoughts made me have violent thoughts every time the phone rang, “Ciao, thank you for calling Carrabba’s Italian Grille in Athens, this is Liz, how may I help you?” Ugh.
Yes, I rehearse. In fact, I write speeches. Not always with family/friends, but yeah, sometimes even then.
I don’t like that I can’t “unsay” something. I much prefer email, where I can reread, backtrack and delete.
I must agree, I like email better myself. Less chance of embarassing myself because of my lack of filter…
Then again… one must always remember to NEVER go online after that last Cuba Libre… who’da ever thunk “drunk-dialing” would someday be replaced by something so evilly viral?!
Gawd, I remember when the word “viral” just made us want to wash our hands a little more often…
Depends for me as well. With most cases, no rehearsal needed. But, if it involves one of the following, rehearsal is a definite:
a) Important business calls
b) Potential land-mine topics with Mother
c) Communications with boys I’m currently giddy and/or prone to saying something stupid around
Otherwise, I’m a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kinda girl! **HUGS!!**
I had to add this. I swear this happened within 30 minutes of my last comment.
I need to do some powerwashing. I saw a guy up the street powerwashing his driveway. Sweet, I tell myself. I can go ask him about it…then I thought about it. And I know you understand, CG. I got nervous. I started thinking in my head how in the world I could ask this dude I don’t know from Adam about paying him to powerwash my property.
Hi, would you possibly be interested in doing a little more powerwashing, it being so fun and all? Excuse me sir, could I hire you to do a little powerwashing around my house. Gee, I have a really dirty garage floor, could you help?
I felt like such a dweeb. Then I felt like a dweeb trying to write a porn script. Why don’t you come over to my house and powerwash my floor? Ugh. Luckily, I thought of an excuse of why I didn’t need it done exactly today.
Nope, never rehearse because I’m an impulsive idiot who flings herself into ever conservation with wild abandon, espeically with strangers.
And yep — I do regret it sometimes.
Generally I don’t rehearse my phone calls. The only time I might would be a conversation I expect to be very emotional. But in general, I just avoid making those calls…lol
Happy belated fourth!
I like how we always tend to say “I think you have the wrong number.” Why are we so afraid to just say “You have the wrong number”? ‘Cuz it sounds rude. We don’t want to hurt this complete stranger’s feelings. Sometimes I even apologize, which I don’t think is unique to me. “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong number.”
Wait, what the hell am I blathering about? I never even pick up my phone.
If it’s someone I don’t know I not only rehearse I have written notes!
No.
I have wondered what I would say on those occasions when someone I know from online calls me even after repeatedly warning them that I don’t speak much in person and it’s worse on the phone, but I don’t think I’ve ever rehearsed a conversation.
It looks like we have a split crowd in here, although as I suspected, most people run through a basic script when talking business.
Or potentially emotional calls.
I prefer Buf’s solution to those calls which is to avoid them — no script necessary in that case.