If you say celery, I promise you I will say turgid
My buddy LaTonya has bestowed the Beautiful Blogger Award upon yours truly. Now I’m a bit of a punk and a bad ass in this here space so I do these things once in a while and then I leave it hanging. I never pick other people cause you’re all stars in my eyes.
And I’m a lazy ass.
Now if I were following the rules, I’d give you seven facts about me and then I’d pick seven bloggers to do the same. But there’s that lazy thing.
Side note: My lazy Converse is jacked up and I don’t feel like fixing it so I have to find another mood but I can’t think of one. Gah. I was going to go with ambivalent but I don’t want LaTonya to think I’m ambivalent about the award.
I’m going with delighted because I am happy that LaTonya chose me, but I should probably go with conflicted — because I’m happy yet slacking. Do you think she’s still glad she chose me for this award?
Okay, since I’ve jacked everything up here, I’m giving you a mere three facts and then ending this with a game to play in the VIP Lounge.
1. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll be able to pull off a ponytail when I’m 50. I don’t think that’s gonna work so most of the time I figure I’ll become one of those ladies from the 1920s who wears her hair in a bun. I think gray hair in a bun sort of works, but I’m not sure. So when I’m sitting in church, naturally, I scan the crowd for hair dos.
I do that in church, when the kids are not with me, because it’s really the only time I’m sitting in one place for an extended amount of time with other people. It’s hard to analyze hair dos while standing in line at the grocery store and it doesn’t work at the Y. Most chicks have their hair pinned back while they’re exercising.
So that leaves me with no choice but the Lord’s house. I think I’ll have to go with some sort of bob. We’ll see. And I am not getting a perm. I’ve never had a good experience with a perm.
2. I wish I had more money and a better fashion sense. If I had more money I could hire some wardrobe chick at Saks Fifth Avenue or Nordstrom to dress me. She’d find that casual chic I’m looking for and we’d have monthly appointments. And she wouldn’t look down on me because she had to incorporate my low tops into every outfit.
I’d be her quirky customer who could really pull those shoes off.
3. I do not like celery but it seems like it’d be a good dieting snack. It’s too stringy, it has a bitter taste when raw and any time I attempt to eat it, I have to drown it in peanut butter, cream cheese or ranch dressing. Trying to eat it for the low calorie count is impossible when it’s swimming in peanut butter.
And yet I sort of aspire to be that chick who’s crunchin’ away at a stalk. Also, any time I hear the word celery I immediately think of the word turgid. So if we were to play a word association game and you said, “Celery” I would say “Turgid.”
Lastly, let’s do the word association game in the VIP Lounge, eh? Leave the comment you would normally leave and then at the very end throw out a word. The next person will respond to that word that you left at the end of his or her comment and it will continue throughout eternity or until tomorrow morning’s post.
Now don’t crowd each other in an attempt to be the first one to kick off the word game, she said as she bent down to release the velvet rope.
p.s. Happy Birthday to Mercedes Rose (that’s you Tonya)! I hope you and Godfather Scratch have an awesome day!
p.p.s. If anyone says January 25, I will say Tonya.
Tags: Things I over analyze, Things that require a side note
If it helps, celery is a negative calorie food. You burn more calories digesting it than you get from it.
Penguin.
That does help Solomon and I did buy some yesterday. I decided I would try to cut it up into bite-size pieces so I could eat it like popcorn. I’m wondering if the stringiness will cease to be an issue that way.
I’ll report back later.
My kindergartner has been studying penguins all week in school. He spent the weekend following me around with a globe showing me all the places penguins live, what the eat, and on and on. Damn that kid can talk! They are going to watch March of the Penguins this week.
Forehead
I find I like cartoon penguins (think Club Penguin) but the real ones at the zoo seem like feisty little punks. I don’t know why I think that, but I don’t care so much for the real ones.
Eh, I do enjoy when they slide down something on their stomachs into the water, but that’s it.
i hope i have hair at 50.
i wish i had money to have clothes made that actually fit. off the rack is not v friendly.
i love cookies and have been cookie free for a week.
pimple
Penguin makes you think pimple? Really?
And what’s going on that you’ve been without cookies for a week? This sounds wrong and dangerous to me.
no you skipped forehead. i’m trying to figure out what forehead has to do with penguins.
my belly is dangerous and wrong.
(laughs) I TOTALLY missed forehead. What a dork I am.
I can see pimple working with forehead. I also see oil slick working with forehead.
Just so’s you know, “turgid” makes me think of naughty things. I’ve only ever run across that word when an author’s describing some steamy moments in a book.
I actually like celery. I don’t eat it as a snack, but when I see it on snack bars or a veggie plate, I will eat it. And I ate all the carrots and celery that came with my boneless buffalo wings because they’re delicious when drowned in buffalo sauce.
I’ve had my hair short for so long I don’t know what to do with long hair. My mom cut her hair about ten years ago, after having waist-length, thick, blond, wavy hair for all of her adult life. I just got her to cut it into a bob, and it looks ADORABLE.
Angry
Blue, I have never, ever heard the word turgid used in a sexual manner, but now it’s all I can think of.
I like celery with the blue cheese dressing that comes with hot wings. Although, as you mentioned, the celery is simply a carrying device for the dressing. It’s still really good though.
I think naughty things too with turgid. Have you seen “10 Things I hate about You?” I believe the term “turgid member” is used. Anyway, I know that’s prob too much for you, CG, so moving on.
My mother still has layered shoulder length hair and she’s 55 and her ponytail is still cute. You have to be careful when it’s totally gray though, that definitely requires the help of a salon professional(s) to get that silvery look.
Celery makes me think of stuffing.
I could totally dress you on a budget. TJ Maxx is awesome. Penney’s can be helpful. Most of my clothes weren’t purchased when I was specifically shopping for clothes, which I actually hate. You just always have to have an eye open when you’re out.
Awake.
I did not see that movie and this is really crazy, this conversation here in the Lounge. I remember a high school science teacher explaining that you can throw a piece of limp celery into a cup of water and it will take in the water to become turgid.
Oh gawd. Now that I’ve talked to you and blue I’m surprised I didn’t catch on. I was/am naive.
I do hate clothes shopping. I really do hate it.
Naive can be good. There are experiences I wish I could unsee.
I hate clothes shopping for something specific with a deadline, especially evening wear. They are not off the rack friendly for the girls.
My fave shopping is probably for lingerie. Well, that and Sephora.
Regarding the pony-tail business – my mother was one such person, and she did it in her late 60’s. On the one hand she had beautiful white/gray hair. On the other hand – she insisted on wearing said pony-tail on the side of her head above her left ear – AND with a really big scrunchy that was oh-so popular in the late 80’s.
Personally – I wouldn’t recommend it, but if you’ve got the chutzpah to pull it off – go for it. But your children will probably disown you.
Snaps to your mom. Um except for the scrunchie *and* the one-sided ponytail. I never did get into the concept. I can’t really think of anyone who can pull it off.
Not even Heidi Klum or Christie Brinkley.
Celery by itself is weird and weird is bad (unless combined with Al). Gotta have Ranch or Peanut Butter with celery.
Ain’t nothing wrong with a gray ponytail. If you got the hair for it, do it.
(laughs) I like your word association there in the comment, sw. Weird is bad. Mostly bad.
Ponytail at 50. Ahem. Abso-frickin’-lutely. And grey hair? NO. If my hair was long enough, the pony would be an option, and since 50 is like, 6 days away, I can say with confidence that I would pull all my luxuriant strawberry blonde hair into a holder and let that tail swing.
Celery, not all by its lonesome, although I will not eat tuna salad or gumbo without it, or drink a bloody mary without a stalk and several spicy green beans. Yum. That would do just about now.
keelhaul
Get out, Elle. You’re gonna be 50? Although I think 50 is the new 35 (gotta be different). I like the idea of letting that tail swing.
I didn’t know there was an animal called spicy green beans and that they work in a Bloody Mary. Why can’t someone come up with an Injured Shirley Temple. There has to be something in between those two chicks. Courtney Love?
I’ll have a rehabbed Courtney Love, please. Hold the crazy.
It’s not a bloody mary without big stalk of celery. (In my mind) Some prefer olives. I only like olives in my dirty martinis. I don’t know how I forgot. It soaks up the drink and it’s delicious. My stepdad taught me how to make a mean bloody mary back when I was in high school. Without the mix.
I’ m 23 and have grey hairs!! I have a bit of a streak going on in what used to be my fringe/bangs
Ok, first I have to say that I’m glad I finally figured out that THIS was your blog. For some reason, I didn’t read the bottom post on your other blog. Yesterday, I stopped by here thinking it was some sort of community blog?!?!
What the hell is wrong with me?!?!
Anyway, I’m glad I figured it out, and now I ‘ll have you on my google reader.
I’m with you about celery. I need LOTS of peanut butter to get it down. The stringiness drives me crazy to. I swear to god, it feels like I’m eating a mouthful of dental floss!
Yay-yeah! Ron is in the house; I’m so glad to see you over here! I love the idea of a community blog!
Celery is like dental floss. But I’m giving it another try. I decided to cut it up into bite-size pieces in an effort to avoid that bite-pull-stringy dance. I’ll let you know how that works out.
I wonder if celery is filling. I’ve never had enough to even guess about that.
Who knows, maybe you can pull off a pony-tail for a good long time yet. And if not, at least it will still be swinging there on your avatar for your blog.
I can’t do celery raw. However, I will say that I was surprised to discover a celery recipe that is very good for you and low-low calorie, but also amazingly tasty! My husband introduced me to celery casserole. You cut up 3 or 4 celery stalks into little coin shaped pieces. Put in a pyrex or corning ware dish. Zap in the microwave on high for 2 or 3 minutes (this softens the celery). Cover with a small can of tomato sauce and sprinkle generously with mozzarella cheese. Zap it in the microwave for another 2 or 3 minutes (makes the cheese gooey). Garnish with parmesan cheese.
Sad that your game didn’t catch on. We used to play a similar game at youth group meetings when I was a teen. The leader would select a special word, say “elephant,” and whenever he said that everyone had to stand. The last person to stand up had to sing a song or share some talent. I remember it being a total blast.
Pumpernickel
I love the idea of having my cyber-ponytail for all of eternity, Wendy. Excellent point!
I don’t mind cooked celery in a dish; does that celery soften up in the microwave? Is five or six minutes enough to eliminate the stringy?
Mmmmm – Pumpernickel. Makes me think of New England fall days. Thanks Wendy!
You can totally rock the ponytail at 50 CG. My grandmother had hair longer than Crystal Gail her entire life but she always wore it in a bun. She was so beautiful at night when she’d unwind that bun and go to bed. She always looked so much younger too.
Cheetos.
Wow, that’s some long ass hair on your grandma. I have a certain length limit and then it actually gets sort of hard to pull it through the rubber band on each pass. I’m right at that limit now and I think this time I’m going to put it in a ponytail first and then cut off the length I don’t want.
Then I’ll try to even that sucka up when it’s all down. But I am interested in seeing what the jagged length will look like after I chop the tail.
Cheetos make me think of the time I nearly killed a friend of mine over a bag of cheetos. :) Basically, during the long drive back from spring break in FL back to IN, my friend had opened a bag of cheetos that I bought but hadn’t opened yet because I knew I would eat the hold bag once I started. We both began eating them, no problem. Then, in a mom type of voice, she suddenly closed up the bag and announced that WE had had enough cheetos and WE were done with them. WTF!! I completely lost it and screamed at her something along the lines that they were my cheetos and I was going to keep eating them if I wanted to. My outburst woke our other friend up and basically scared the crap out of both of them…lol Mind you, I don’t normally react like this but there is something about people telling me what to do, especially in that mom type of voice, that can send me over the edge.
Ok now I forgot what else I was going to say…
fiddle….
(btw, fiddle causes me to immediately start singing Thank God I’m a Country Boy….yes I need help…lol)
Buf I’d want to throttle that chick that told me we were done eating *MY* Cheetos. Betch.
On a related note, I bought a bag yesterday and then I did have to stop my kids from dining on Cheetos for dinner. I thought of you and Becky so I made them eat yogurt and half a bagel before they had more.
Go John Denver. Didn’t he get all coked up in the 90s tarnishing his image?
Wow, I so relate to Buf. Is it the fact that I’m a Taurus that makes me freak out when people get bossy with me? Or is it just that “mom voice” that is so so very aggravating? I just had a moment with a friend on Saturday, who needed help with something and she was all “so when are you coming over?” I called her on it saying that if she needed someone’s assistance, a question phrased more like “can you please help me?” would work a leeetle better. It actually worked out well because she got it and actually was sorry.
fern
The “mom voice” is the big trigger for me. #2, being told what to do by someone I know for a fact is an idiot and/or doesn’t know at least as much as I know about the subject. I’m an Aries, so I think that means that I’m usually the bossy one…lol
@Becky That would get on my last nerve from a friend. For some reason I’ve never run into that, thank Neptune. My oldest kid is a Taurus and she definitely lives up to that astrological sign.
Gulley (since this is the last comment)
@Buf I love that you know, for a fact, that she’s an idiot.
I’m an Aquarius so be gentle with me.
Aquarius’ are cool…my dad is one. I’m an Aries (almost a Taurus I think) so take cover…lol ;)