It’s not necessary to carry a sword and a shield to become someone’s hero
I think I’ve hit my cruising altitude in the NaNoWriMo challenge which is awesome but time consuming, as you can imagine. This is turning out to be such a great adventure and I’m so glad I pushed myself out of my comfort zone.
Just knowing my peeps are rallying around me is making this even better. It’s like a virtual road trip and everyone has called shotgun and somehow everyone actually gets to ride shotgun. Even though we’re all piled into my jalopy. Sweep the Leg! It’s wild, weird and wonderful.
And, dare I say, wacky. Yes, I dare. I like the word wacky, it starts with a W and it’s there because I want it there.
And since my peeps are the best on the internet, I’m getting some help along the way. Natural of ThinkingOutLoudBlog is at the wheel while I’m brewing more coffee and sharpening my mental pencil.
And if I can quickly throw in a side note here. Wait this is my blog. You’re damn right I can throw in a side note wherever I want a side note, so it’s here. Loud and proud, gingah.
Side note: You really owe it to yourself to check out Natural’s other creative outlet — Photo A Day Blog — where she is photographing her life one picture at a time. It’s worth the click, trust me.
So I asked Natural to tell me about one of the Unsung Heroes from her past. And by hero I mean a random person she ran into who made an impact on her — large or small. So that’s who we’re going to meet today — Natural’s Unsung Hero.
Growing up I was a skinny child. Even as a young adult, I remained thin. I had no shape, no curves, no body and my legs were as thin as two pencils. I resembled an ironing board, flat in the front and flat in the back.
Maybe that’s why I always felt the need to cover up and was uncomfortable with my body and showing too much skin. I chose to dress conservatively throughout my adulthood. I was also a shy and quiet child and believe it or not, I still carry some of that shyness with me today.
Eventually as I aged, I worked on my body image. I wanted to add a little definition to my physical appearance, so I joined an all-women’s gym and hired a personal trainer. I worked out in the gym several times a week alone and once a week with the trainer until I moved out of the area.
Once I settled into my new place, I found a gym not too far from where I lived. However, this gym was different and a lot bigger than what I was used to. It was two floors high, the top floor housed the cardio machines and the lower level retained the weight machines.
Behind the main rooms of the upper and lower gym was an opened-spaced room for aerobic classes. Even though it was a unisex gym, I always felt the setup segregated the sexes, which was okay by me. The women worked out upstairs and the men worked out downstairs. I was no different than most of the women members, I spent a lot of time upstairs on the cardio machines until I worked up the nerve to workout downstairs, in a pair of shorts.
At first I felt out of place, like I was being watched, so I was nervous, but managed to successfully do a few sets on the leg press. Then I walked over to the cable pulley machine to work on my triceps and I noticed a man staring at me. As I approached him he said, “You know you have some beautiful legs, don’t you?”
I’m sure I looked down at my legs in disbelief that he was speaking to me. I smiled back and said thank you. It never occurred to me that my legs might be anything but skinny.
The genuineness of his comment — unbeknownst to him — meant a lot to me.
His compliment
wasn’t
a pick
up line, in
fact, I’m
certain we never
spoke to each other again and I never forgot his comment.
It’s been my rare, personal experience for a man — and I’m not referring to the man in your life — to give a woman a compliment without wanting something.
I’m not the type of person to withhold a compliment from a man or woman; if I like something, I will speak on it.
A simple compliment can change someone’s day and maybe even a person’s life.
Sometimes when I’m running on the treadmill or I’m using the leg press machine and I catch glimpse of my legs in the mirror, my unsung hero’s words iterates in my mind and silently gives me the encouragement to press on.
Tags: Things that are fun!
That’s a very nice, warm the inside kind of story. What a nice thing for a man to say in a noncreepy sort of way. Those compliments are definitely hard to come by. I’m trying to think of one and it’s not coming to mind, but it’s early for me.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could be our on self-motivators all the time? I guess that’s an issue for another VIP Lounge/therapy session.
Elizabeth, it was the sweetest thing. I didn’t tell the background story of why his compliment meant a lot to me, but I was the brunt of many jokes for years. He made me feel better about myself and I never forgot the no-strings attached experience.
WOW! How cool for you and your self-esteem! How nice that he said it like that and didn’t have to say anything more–just put it out there to make you feel good.
I have a couple of girlfriends who always comment on your appearance in a positive way and it just makes you feel so darn good. They are genuine comments, and not phony–well, at least they don’t make it seem phony. I’ve realized that people like to hear nice things, so I have incorporated nice comments to folks in my every day routine. I find myself telling a lady at the store that I “love her bag” or “that sweater looks nice on you” or something similar. We all notice these things, we just don’t say them. And I don’t do it in a creepy way, I just say it if I’m next to them or something. I’ll tell you, it makes us both feel better for the moment.
Yep it was Lin it was! That’s all he said, then he “disappeared.”
I always give compliments, especially to my girl friends or women in general. It cuts down on the jealousy. It really is a mood lifter!
Aw. Thanks, Natural! That’s a great story and an excellent reminder to everyone. A kind word can make a person’s day — and LIFE!
CG: Thanks for posting the link to Natural’s Photo a Day blog. Somehow, I didn’t know about it. I will check it out eagerly, especially since Thinking Out Loud is on (temporary, I hope?) hiatus.
SHOTGUN!!!!!
It sure does, JD. Genuine comments/compliments acknowledges effort. We don’t only see a fault with someone, but an attempt. I acknowledge effort and hard work. If someone puts in extra time to make something nice or special, I compliment them…not just in their appearance, but it could be making dinner, being a great friend/lover/spouse, keeping the house clean. There’s nothing wrong with stepping off the hamster wheel and telling someone, I think you’re doing a great job, keep it up.
AND!
I keep forgetting to say: Do you know good ol’ Tracy from I Hate My Message Board (you’d like her)?
She started a group on Facebook called “Dang Y’all.” I think you should start one called “Sweep the Leg.” I’d join!
I have not had the pleasure of meeting Tracy from I Hate My Message Board, but I did find her Facebook page “Dang Y’all” and I did enjoy what I saw. That bear minus fur looked like something from “Where the Wild Things Are.”
Yuck and Dang Y’all.
I love that this random man, who you’ve never spoken to since, helps to motivate you. I think a lot of us have little instances like this that we squirrel away in our brains to draw from when we need to.
He is the only random man who has ever given me a genuine, no-strings attached compliment…and walked away.
I know how you feel about “skinny”, and have found working out to be about the only way to add any curves too. I envy you your stranger compliment, though. The only thing a stranger ever said to me was, “Why don’t you eat a sandwich?”
That’s a terrible thing to say.
I comfort myself with the self-delusion that said stranger was just jealous. ;-) And then I go and eat two sandwiches. ;-)
Les, calling someone skinny is no different than calling someone fat. Let’s just say I had my fair share of name calling and hated it. And not just from one person, after a while, it weighs on you. No pun intended.
I used to ask that of people that commented on me being “too” skinny: “Would you tell an obese person that you’d never met that they’re fat and should stop eating french fries?” Every one of them was aghast at the notion and said, “Of course not! How rude!” They failed to see the similarity in “rudeness”.
I DID once retort to somebody that told me I was fooling myself by thinking I “look good at that God-awful weight – you look sick! Stop whatever you’re doing!” that it was the chemo that caused the weight-loss. No, I didnt’ have cancer, but it shut that particular guy right up. I still feel guilty about saying that.
And I’m going to stop being rude, myself, taking over the comments with a subject that no longer bothers me like it once did. Sorry, all! Shutting up, now.
Hey, keep on talkin’ chica. I enjoy hearing about other people’s experiences. With this one, I really cannot relate. I’ve never experienced anything like this.
I’ve been chasing “skinniness” all of my life — both idolizing it and looking at it as the ideal — that I really cannot wrap my head around what you’re saying.
That’s why I find it so interesting. It seems really bizarre that someone would be so blunt in saying things like that to you.
And you know when I call you a skinny betch, I say it with love. But from now on I’ll alternate between betch and shet bag, ‘kay?
Coming from you, I know there’s no malice, so you can go right ahead and keep calling me “skinny betch”. (I won’t call you “fat betch”, though. Cuz you’re not.)
And, like I say, now that I’m getting older, it doesn’t bother me as much (I kind of like being a “Skinny Betch” on the internet, truthfully). I don’t think I’m near as thin as I was 20 years ago. I probably really DID look sick compared to some people back then, although it was, apparently, my so-called “natural” weight.
I also get a bit of a sadistic kick out of watching people I used to envy starting to get “bloaty”. Especially my sister, who has finally stopped saying to me, “Yeah well, you just wait ’til you’re MY age, and we’ll see who’s still skinny then!”
Hey I sorta like phat betch, like I’m a bitchin’ — hmm, that doesn’t work — like I’m an awesome betch. I think phat is gangsta and I like that.
It is strange how each person’s set zone can be so different. Man I’m also getting a kick out of your sister eating her words!
First of all, Cardiogirl, sweep the leg on the topic you offered to The Bumbles this morning for Monday Movie Meme. Sheesh. Talk about kick starting the old brain at 5am on Monday morning. And I happened to select the same movie as you (before I saw your answer, I promise).
I love this post from Natural. There is a serious lesson here, and that is one small effort, a kind comment, can make all the difference. I know this is something I forget to do, but this point is very well taken. I’ve had people, strangers on the street, and complement my legs as well. Not only men, but women too. (My husband marvels at this, and says that if he complemented another guy’s legs, he would get punched.) Your day can turn from crap to good in that one moment. Thanks for sharing Natural. That is an awesome story.
Thanks Sandy! That is an interesting topic, isn’t it? I believe you — that you came up with that movie before seeing what I wrote. It’s powerful, that’s for sure.
It is amazing that more people don’t throw out genuine comments/compliments in real life. I try to lead by example and like Natural, I only say when I really mean it.
hi ya sandy! it makes a difference especially since we never know what problem or demons a person may be dealing with.
yeah men can’t compliment other men like that, which makes being a woman so great. i have no problem saying “great job” or “you look great” and i don’t add the today at the end. (smiles)
Natural – I think that guy was truly brave. So many times I have a compliment in my head and can’t muster up the nerve to put it out there. I’m not sure why – I guess I think the person will think I’m a nut or creepy or want something out of the deal. Maybe I’ll make that a New Year’s Resolution – stop holding back those compliments.
I also need to learn how to accept a compliment graciously. My boss told me that I always try to deny it and belittle myself in the process instead of just accepting it and saying thank you.
Bumbles, I guess he was brave, one never knows how someone will react toward that type of compliment. It’s funny too because people, before they get to know me, think i’m unapproachable or mean. that’s just my face. so yeah it took courage. never thought about that. it’s one of the few times i accepted a compliment with no dialogue, other than a thank you.
Natural is a Natural …. photographer. what fun! But now I know the face behind the avatar (teehee!)
Isn’t she? I love a lot the composition of her stuff. Did you see the blinds on a yellow wall? The blinds had one piece that was sticking out and the composition was really cool.
Oh yeah. I am an artist with words. Just reading that eloquent description, I’m certain, has you running to her site. Well, it might have you running. I guess that’s part of the goal if I’m being optimistic here.
you are not allowed to look at my face, LJ. oh dear, i can’t believe i’m doing this project, with MY mug shot.
p.s. cg, i love that photo, it sings to me. it probably is a representation of me.
You’re gorgeous Natural. You have nothing to be worried about.
Nat-
That was a great post! I love hearing these types of stories and being reminded of how much our actions (even tiny comments) can mean to someone. Thanks for sharing!!
Peace
hey buf and thanks. it’s funny, this story has always been with me, seriously, but i never gave it a name until now. it’s as soothing as balm.