Jesus watches me every time I drive to Walgreens
You think I’m kidding, don’t you?
There’s a cemetery near my house that faces a busy road. And just inside the chain link fence there’s a large headstone of Jesus that faces the road. And it’s not just a static representation of Jesus.
It’s an interactive experience.
The rendering is concave, not flat, and I’m positive that’s the reason why it appears to move, but I don’t know enough about light and physics and the heebie-jeebies to further explain this phenomenon.
I just know my personal savior turns and watches me every time I drive by on my way to Walgreens.
I’m really surprised there aren’t tons of accidents on that road because the first time you drive by and it catches your eye it’s mesmerizing. You just have to look because it’s as if something is moving along your peripheral vision.
And when you look, you can see his face turn as he watches your expression of disbelief as you try not to lose control of your Chrysler minivan.
I can tell you I’ve never seen anything like that before. It’s really something else.
Here, have a look for yourself.
Can you see how His face is looking to the right, faces head on and then turns to the left? Hey, let’s make this like a game from Highlights magazine. Can you also spot my navy blue minivan in the background? You’ve got to look closely.
I find it interesting and sad that the guy buried there was 28 when he died in 1995. For some reason I thought the person buried there would have been at least 70 or older.
I wonder how much it would cost to have a headstone made with a pair of Converse low tops that do a little soft shoe* routine as you pass by. I’ll have to ask Lucifer when I arrive in Hell.
*Did a quick Google search on soft shoe to make sure I got the phrase right and I found this YouTube video of a dance off between President Bush and President Obama. It’s extremely amusing and worth the three minutes. Bonus points for those who vote in the comments.
Not to influence your decision, but I think Obama nailed it. Although Bush did get a holla from his wife as a back up dancer.
Tags: Things that intrigue me, Things that make me anxious
i would say WTH, but considering the guest you have in the lounge today, i think i better keep my trap shut.
that would make me crash my car. remember the woman walking down the street wearing a bra as a shirt on seinfeld. that’s exactly what this is. distracting. i would totally sue if i crashed. lol.
technically, he’s not in the lounge, so WTH!!! nightmares come on.
YES! I remember Sue Ellen Mischke — heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune. At first I thought you were saying, “I’d totally SUE if I crashed.”
Like you were using her name as a verb, as in, “I’d totally BUFFY if I crashed.” Once again, this explanation is not clear and is not nearly as clever as it is in my head.
It is freaky watching his head move. Jesus knows I love Him, but damnation.
lol….how did i get turned into a verb??
Isn’t that fun?
I was going to use my real name and then that seemed like a bad idea. Then I was going to use Natural’s name but that also seemed wrong.
Since you’re out there with your name you came to mind, but using Buf could be misconstrued as a verb. As in, “I’m going to buff out the scratches on the car now. Hold all my calls.”
So when I tried Buffy it worked, jack!
Ooh. What you need to do now is get a video of that stone as you pass it. If you could set it to Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor it would be an overnight web sensation!
I should get a video. I don’t really know how to create a YouTube video but I’m sure one of my online buds could walk me through it. Now I need to listen to Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor since it’s not ringing a bell.
Back now. THAT’S Bach? I’ve heard that before.
Did you think you wouldn’t recognize anything of Bach’s? He was a big organ guy. Hahaheho, I didn’t even mean it like I got the low top. I crack myself up.
I’m guessing Elizabeth is “it,” unless she’s just foolin’ and the real It hasn’t commented yet.
@Liz I didn’t get it either, until you laughed about it. It is rather amusing.
I did not think I would recognize anything by Bach. I’m not into classical music unless I’ve heard it on a commercial. That’s sad and pathetic, but true.
@SPG Yes sir. You are correct. Liz was It today. Now she’ll tell me whose It tomorrow.
Um, I think when you refer to the soft shoe you have to call it the “ol soft shoe”. It’ s the “Ol” that makes it extra good for some reason. I’ll go check out the video next.
On the gravesite–WOW. That is just plain creepy. It’s like a haunted house where the eyes follow you as you walk through the dark hallways. Look! Jesus’ eyes are following you!! EEEEK!!
I love how you parked the car and took photos–while others in traffic watched and wondered what the hell you were doing. Cool, CG. That is something I would do for a post. :)
Just for the record–I want a cat that’s hacking on my gravestone–IF I have one. Now THAT would be interactive!
I’ll have to go back and edit that in the post.
Yeah, it’s weird. And thank you for noting my blogging dedication. I did feel a bit awkward, but I’m here for you fine folks. Plus it didn’t hurt that my back was to the traffic as I snapped the photos.
I absolutely LOVE the idea of a 3-D rendering of Hobbes hacking up a hairball on your grave. Maybe I’ll do that for my grave. Wouldja mind?
I never thought I would vote for Bush over Obama but he kinda had his own skillz whereas it looked like Ellen was leading Barack to me…
Bush did have some quirky moves, didn’t he? I loved when it looked like he was singing the chorus and lifting his hands up.
That headstone is creepy. But it reminds me of a joke. Shall I tell you it?
Yes. I must know the joke. God has a good sense of humor. I mean humour.
A thief breaks into someone’s house when they’re out at night. He doesn’t turn the lights on for fear of alerting the neighbours. As he’s stumbling about in the dark, he hears a voice:
“Jesus is watching you.”
Spooked, he looks round, but can’t see anything in the dark. The voice comes again:
“Jesus is watching you.”
Getting really freaked out, he turns on the light to see a parrot sat in a cage. He muses out loud, “what kind of people call their parrot Jesus?” The parrot replies, “the same kind of people that call their Rottweiler Moses…”.
lol…Love the joke.
As I was reading the joke, my brain automatically started trying to decide if the fact that the lights were never turned on would be relevent to determining if any crime had been committed…obviously, the bar exam is still haunting me (the bar exams have these crazy fact patterns that you have to analyze for weird little nuances).
@Solomon That is a good bingo, my friend! (Sorry Buf, I just had to say it.)
That’s an awesome joke!
@Buf That’s so funny how you started analyzing it. I just read along wondering where we were going.
Bush looked kind of like Frankenstein trying to dance…. LOL
Hey, that’s appropriate for the season, isn’t it?
I know Jesus is watching me.
But I really don’t want to watch him watching me.
That thing is creepy.
It really is. I’m going to have to try to get a video of it. Then you could hear my monotone voice and I could give a flash of that day’s low tops.
Oh! This is perfect~!~ I actually own those freaked out low tops up there — the plaid ones. I wear them a lot even though I am not constantly freaked out. They just match a lot of stuff.
But I do get freaked out at the drop of a hat. Unless I have my Ativan handy.
That headstone is very weird. It looks like Jesus if he were possessed. (I think that would be ultimate irony, eh?)
Now, on to the dance off. I know we all like Obama and he seems, oh, so much cooler than Bush even could amount to. But on this one, I think Bush won. He’s got more moves, he’s connecting with people in his dancing, and he looks happier. Wasn’t I speaking of irony anyway, though?
Isn’t it strange? That would be classic irony.
I think there are two schools of thought regarding my decision. I was looking for actual, smooth dance moves. O just seems so much more comfortable and at ease with his movements.
Bush. Not really.
However, for sheer entertainment value, Bush has it in the bag. All he needs is the White Man’s Overbite.
I’m not feeling political this morning, so I’m evoking my right to do a write-in for Ellen. That woman can dance.
I’m still listening to the Bach. I love Bach. You do when you’re a band nerd. He wrote a 100 bajillion warm-ups. And organ music makes me sentimental for church. Anyway…
I’ve seen something like that creepy Jesus. My dad works at a place called Wonderworks. It’s something like a kids’ science museum. But they have all these optical illusion art work. Some of it is way cool once you see and some it is creepy. I think it’s Davinci there watching you. A little less creepy.
And was it the parents’ immense amount of shock and grief that would “possess” them to pay for such a grave marker? That thing must have cost a fortune.
Look at you with the write-in and the low top up there. Way to go Liz!
I wondered about the cash laid into that thing as well. That’s part of why I was so surprised that the, uh, inhabitant was so young. Unless his parents were loaded or he was independently wealthy I don’t know how they would afford it.
Oh! This is crazy. I just realized we moved here in 1996 and I can’t remember if it was up then or not. I would imagine when you die it takes some time for the stone to be engraved and installed.
Too bad I didn’t know 13 years ago that I’d be blogging about this today. If I did, I could have told you if it was up when we moved here. Damn.
“I’ll have to ask Lucifer when I arrive in Hell.” HA!
That headstone is creepy and I would not want to drive past there. *shudder*
I like that Bush vs Obama danceoff. All our elections should be settled that way.
Isn’t it interesting a semi scar-you-out-for-life sorta way?
That’s a cool headstone!
Here’s the link to the Obama / McCain dance off:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzyT9-9lUyE&feature=fvw
I saw that one too! Did you see Sarah P make a cameo toward the end?
Yep. Sarah stole the dance show in that video, just as she did for Election 2008.
Interested grave marker. The eyes are a little (extra) creepy, but otherwise its just like the Jesus we all grew up with. In my heart of hearts I sincerely doubt thats what he looked like. But I guess someday when I’m chattin’ it up with Lucifer, sitting beside you with coffee cups in hand – we’ll find out together.
Those eyes are creepy.
Good little rule follower that I am, I believe the J Man looks just like that. But I’ll bet when we do get to Hell they’ll only have a cartoon drawing of him.
‘Cause we’re in Hell and all and haven’t earned the right to see what he looks like. I’m pretty sure he wears white low tops though.
And Luc (that’s what I’ll call him. What the hell? I’ll be in Hell anyway) will wear black high tops. Punk. I’ll probably have to go barefoot. That would be hell for me.
Hell is where all the fabulous people are going. Save me a seat! :D
Based on the people I know who pledge to join me, Hell does sound sorta fabulous.
You don’t think Luc would have black high tops with orange flames licking up the sides? Hmmm.
That headstone is freaky.
Yes. Upon further thought I’m positive he’s got high tops with flames on the sides.
Definitely.
Except they’d be REAL live flames!
Oooo – weeee! I’d love to drive pass that Jesus, and scare the hell out of my kids, LOL! My 12 year old is scared of mask, clowns, and mascots, this would just send her over the edge! I’m cracking up thinking about how she would react.
I can’t watch the video right now at work. They’ve blocked us from YouTube, go figure, and I don’t ever go there at work.
Elizabeth A, did a great job!
Tell your 12 year old the eyes only follow you if you’ve done something wrong. Now that would be an awesome reaction.
I’m a rotten person. I hope they serve Jack Daniels in hell.
Aw, gee thanks!
@LaTonya It might be a worth a road trip. That’s all I’m sayin’.
@Liz Now that’s an awesome idea! My oldest kid is getting read to make her first confession. I’m sure I could inflict some massive psychological damage with that ploy.
I think I feel Satan tugging on my ankle right now. I guess I better get to confession posthaste.
I might have to give it a try when it’s just me and her in the car.
Whew, I was afraid I was the only one who thought psychological sadism was funny.
Isn’t she like 9? Only thing I had to confess was I told my mom I really did brush my teeth last night. What is that? Like half an “Our Father?” Well, that and I wanted her boyfriend dead. Okay, that was biased of me towards 9 year olds.
I’m down with some psychological sadism.
Yeah, she’s nine. Wait, yesterday was her half birthday; she would tell you, in all seriousness, that she is nine and a half now.
I do wonder what she’ll confess. Although they sent home the ten commandments and the interpretations. Both she and I thought she didn’t have to worry about “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”
But it was interpreted as, “Have you ever been jealous of or wanted something that someone else owned?”
Um, that’s a yes. I am jealous of Heidi Klum’s wealth, business acumen and killer looks.
My kid wants the same sort of stuff her friends have that she doesn’t — Nintendo DS games, an American Girl doll that costs an arm, a leg and half a kidney, etc.
So when you go through their interpretation of the commandments she (and I) will be in the confessional for quite a while.
I just watched the E! Hollywood Story of Mrs. Heidi. How do you get to be that thin with those boobs? Unless she has the most phenomenal plastic surgeon in the world, it’s just not fair. But I’m not all that jealous, I get to eat my chocolate pie without worrying about losing my job. But envy is a tough one. Oh, did you have to get into adultery and other idols? Heavy.
Well, I remember learning them as a child and not questioning them much. I love when you tell kids the simple truth and they just say, “Oh, okay,” and move on.
We did not discuss the actual meaning of adultery and she didn’t ask.
Don’t ask don’t tell.
We did talk about other idols but in a simplistic way.
And any chick who’s a popsicle stick with melons is surgically enhanced.
In my opinion.
Hola CG,
For some reason I keep hearing shake what you momma gave you in my head…anywayz I am partial but I agree that Obama won but only by a nose hair. Obama has a more fluid motion his dance doesn’t appear as robotic.
Now to Jesus…and yes this was backwards and might be why I am on my way to Hades in hotpants as Granny SJ likes to say. It would totally freak me out and possibly cause Juan to suffer an untimely demise if I saw this headstone while driving. I would think He was judging me for all my pass and soon to commit sins….although it might also get me to straighten up and fly right for the rest of the day thinking that Jesus is watching As a Christian I know he is anyway but it is easy to put that to the back of your mind and go about my day cussing and fussing with reckless abandon.
Side note I’ve been saying and writing reckless abandon a lot these days…not sure why but I thought I would share.
He does have smooth moves. That’s why I think he won, he actually seems comfortable dancing.
Yeah, much as I try to be a good Christian I let Him sit unnoticed as I break commandments left and right.
I love reckless abandon! Mostly the phrase but sometimes the activity. I like to eat chocolate with reckless abandon, for sure.
And coffee with chocolate! No, I’m not having both for breakfast. No clue why you ask, she says while wiping chocolate pie from her mouth.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with coffee and a chocolate chaser. Especially when it’s a chocolate donut or pastry of any sort.
Well if you see nothing wrong with it, then I consider myself totally in the clear.
Word.
I think that headstone is kinda cool. Never would have thought of doing that to my own headstone. Not that I’ll have one since I plan to be cremated.
But maybe they can make a concave representation of MY face on the front of the urn and I can haunt Evan & his wife and keep moving it into their bedroom in the middle of the night, LOL!
I’m a little loopy today. Finally got to sleep at 3:30 am and have been sleeping all day off and on. I don’t even know if this comment makes sense…
That. Would be freaky, Angelika. Having your moving face on the stone. Now having it in your kid’s room that does sound amusing. I could see a nice short story around that premise.
The comment makes sense and it makes me laugh.
Oh, I don’t know… I think Converse might be willing to pony up for that.
Now that you mention it, that’s the least they could do. And they better figure out how to chisel the shoes so they’re in color. And none of this granite stuff providing the color.
Wow, that’s some major christian kitsch. I shall now follow the spiritual path of Kitschianity. Who wants sainthood?!
I love that, Becky! Kitschianity!
You, young lady, have just earned yourself the Gold Star of the Day. Congratulations!
Man, I’d love to be Saint Cardiogirl, patron saint of anxiety and Converse low tops. Not high tops. Just low tops.
Gold star! Nice! You have earned your sainthood.