The book of questions, Volume 66
14 VIPs have spoken »Friday is The Book of Questions Day around these parts.
Today’s question comes from the aptly titled book “The Book of Questions” by Gregory Stock, Ph.D.
And here it is, Question 174.
How many of your friendships have lasted more than ten years? Which of your current friends to you feel will still be important to you ten years from now?
Hmm, I would say a scant handful. I can think of three people — Karen, Tonya and Carmen — and they are listed chronologically. We talked about Karen, Purveyor of All That is Good and Fun, on Wednesday. We must have been friends for at least 30 years. I told you it’s sketchy for me whether we met in fourth or sixth grade, so I’m going to split the difference and assume we were around 10.
Fun fact about Karen which was more of a fun fact for me, but which sucked for her. Sorry about that Karen. Karen went to college in California her freshman year. She might have gone there her sophomore year as well, but by the time she was a junior she’d come back to Michigan and finished up at U of M.
Anyway in California she lived with her grandma and the relationship was, uh, strained. And so she became Karen With the Grandma Who Hates Her when I talked about her to my friends at college. She sort of became the Bob Saccamano to my Kramer, only I’m not nearly as tall as Kramer and my hair is not as fuzzy.
I met Tonya my freshman year of college through sheer luck and serendipity. We both roomed blind which meant we threw caution to the wind and let fate decide who our roommate(s) would be.
We were thrown in a room with a third chick who turned out to hate my guts. I’m still not positive why but legend has it that Tonya actually talked that chick into staying in our room the entire year.
She wanted to move out after the first term ended. Wow.
So we met when we were 18 and our birthdays are one week apart and are never jacked up by Leap Year. Isn’t that awesome? If her birthday is on Saturday, my birthday is on Saturday.
She’s a week older than me so her birthday dictates the day of the week. We’re both Aquarius (Aquari?) and our birthdays are on Monday next year, just in case you wondered.
Completing my friendship trifecta is Carmen. I met her in college as well, but I think we were seniors. I’m pretty sure we met at The State News which is the award-winning student newspaper at Michigan State. It’s online now and I can’t even imagine what working there would be like (dusts off her fedora with the sign that says “Press” on the front.)
Anyway, we seemed to hit it off right away and the vines of fate intertwined our lives long after we graduated from college. I met Mr. C in May of 1993 and Carmen got married in September of 1993. I was invited to the wedding, naturally, and I invited Mr. C to come with me.
A lot was resting on that date and I was really looking forward to it. So I wowed him by dressing up and slapping on a little lipstick. Off we went to the wedding and soon after we walked into the reception hall, Mr. C’s eyes lit up in surprise and recognition as he hugged a short, middle-aged woman.
That woman was his Aunt Mary Lou. And she was a teacher at the same school where Carmen’s mother was the principal. And as a child, Carmen was pen pals with Mr. C’s sister. How wild is that?
She gave me advice on how to reel Mr. C in and the rest is history.
Ours is a long distance friendship which seems impervious to space and time. Like a quilt I’m working on, I can set that friendship down mid-stitch with the needle secured in the fabric for a year or two at a time and then start stitching right where I left off. I don’t know how or why that’s possible, but it is and I really value that.
Those three are charter members of the East Coast Soljahs* and I am positive we will be friends for the rest of my life.
Viva la Soljahs!
*I just made that gang name up. Well, I went to GangNames.net and used their random gang name generator. It was between Nuclear Gang and East Coast Soljahs and you know which one I went with.
It’s fun because we don’t have a name like that at all. In fact those three don’t really know each other. They know of each other, I think, but they don’t hang together.






